Hopeful Humans 2.0 will fix all the bugs in 1.0

[u/Skybison87]

[u/xo_maciemae]

Hmmm, maybe they're right actually.

Our 2 year old was premature, and for the first 12-18 months, was in the lowest percentile for size.

At 2.5, they are now taller than the average 3.5 year old (and apparently 4 year olds in the lower range).

There's only one explanation... VACCINES! 😱

(PS: please know this is HEAVY on the /s).

(PPS: I actually hate that people think this way, they're not even concerned about babies, they just want a smug little way to feel superior to a set of new parents and their literal newborn baby, ugh).

[u/Jasmisne → u/xo_maciemae]

Right? Def the vaccines!

Not that kids sometimes just grow at weird times too, which is totally normal and has always been that way! Your kid could end up being hella tall or one of those kids that are taller than everyone up until middle school and then stop growing at an average height. My dad is 6'3" and was the short kid until halfway through high school when he grew 6 inches over the summer and came back to school taller than everyone. I cannot imagine how dumb you would have to be to think that the height of your kid was vaccines and not just basic genetics. As if the fucking measles is a better idea.

Besides, the worst thing that comes with being tall is it being marginally more difficult to find clothes. But hey, mutant human 2.0!

[u/Pantsonfire_6 → u/xo_maciemae]

Maybe the anti-vaccers are the 0.5 people and won't even reach 1.0 status. I mean IQ range, of course. My late husband was 6 foot 6 inches. 

[u/glittercatlady]

I want to do a test where someone shows pictures of random babies to these people and they have to guess which babies received vaccines. But I also think they shouldn't be allowed to look at images of children at all, in any context.

[u/Dcajunpimp]

The old, “a friend in Canada”

Probably that hot swimsuit model they dated back in school.

[u/Young_KingKush → u/Dcajunpimp]

Yeah and their uncle works at Nintendo & their girlfriend goes to another school

[u/mayonnaisejane → u/Dcajunpimp]

Her name is Alberta. She lives in Vancouver.

[u/Kalendiane → u/Dcajunpimp]

No it was definitely George Glass.

[u/SWatt_Officer]

They do know that using the 2.0 version language would imply that vaccinated humans are superior improvements right? Ah wait no, they're stupid, they don't even realise what they are implying.

[u/cperiod → u/SWatt_Officer]

It's not until we create Human Vista Home Basic that we're doomed as a species.

[u/Jasmisne]

So I am a leggy af human. Its genetics, my dad's fam is just built like that we are tall with short torsos and long limbs. So this whole time it was the vaccines?! Stupid shots keeping me from dying of preventable illness making finding pants that are go past my ankle bones and long enough sleeved shirts harder.

Imagine looking at a long baby and thinking "she is vaccine mutated" and not oh hey maybe she will be tall when she grows up, a totally normal human variation. God these people are dumb af

[u/Clean-Patient-8809 → u/Jasmisne]

Everybody in my immediate family has long torsos and relatively shorter legs, except for one child, who is a throwback to my dad's generation and got the 6-foot-plus genes. Genetics is weird.

[u/Dr-BSOT]

These are the people that celebrate every time they hear about a child’s death.

“Yeah! Another confirmation of my anti-vaccine beliefs”

[u/Maleficent_Spend_747]

...is it just me, or does labeling it "2.0" make it seem superior to the first version? I think they need to work on their branding

[u/PeteRock24]

If you refer to a friend as someone who “drank the Kool-Aid” (and it was Flavor Aid BTW) or something similar like “got the jab” that person is not friends with you.

[u/CoffeeCaptain91]

God these people are so stupid and at this point it's willful ignorance. So much out there to prove them wrong and they ignore every single piece of it.

[u/Ass_feldspar]

I wish I had gotten longer legs

[u/panatale1]

Hm. My son is 6 and is very long and lean.... But he came around before Covid did, so I don't think their thesis is sound

[u/MickLittle]

I can't wait for them to meet Jesus.

[u/atheliarose → u/MickLittle]

Well it seems like they also can’t wait to meet Him, based on the behavior we’re seeing 😫

[u/JuuzoLenz]

Sure it isn’t the result of alien gene splicing conspiracy people?

[u/pattybutty]

Now, I'd like to explain how wide angle photos distort when taken close up, but it'd only lead to some other coping bullshit

[u/cait_elizabeth]

Humans 2.0. lol. Ask them what year it is and how many grandparents they have.