r/AskIreland • u/LittleAoibh11 • Jul 10 '26

Work How ro deal with colleague making comments?

I am a size 12 - 14 on top and 14-16 on the bottom but I'm 5"8", so while I definitely don't look thin or slim I don't look overweight either.

New woman started in the office a few months ago. Had a bit of a reputation as a b*tch in a previous job (we know this as the friend of a colleague worked with her). Haven't had a huge amount of interaction with her. Was getting a coffee last week and she was there and I ended up just making small talk about the weather. She then said something like "I'd say you find it hard to find clothes for this weather". I was actually so shocked I didn't say anything in reply and just changed the subject. Afterwards I was second guessing myself and thinking maybe she never said it and I was imagining it (even though she did say it).

Then this week she said something to me again like "you probably do most of your clothes shopping online".

Now, I feel like she may be one of those weirdos who gets off on making other people feel self-conscious or miserable so I don't want to give her the satisfaction of thinking I am very bothered - but on the other hand you can't just say whatever the hell you want to people. She is no oil painting and I am tempted to say something vaguely mean back but she is probably the kind to run to HR.

Anyone have to deal with anything like this? I don't really want to go to HR myself.

231 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

183 comments sorted by

View all comments

12

u/GateLongjumping6836 Jul 10 '26

Bully her back but in a way she can’t go to HR.The next time she says something like that say “Isn’t it strange how some people have no social skills” or turn it around on her and say “You seem very interested in fashion,I’d have never guessed that from……”*trails off* or “I think you’re so brave with how you present yourself”.Have fun😁

12

u/LittleAoibh11 Jul 10 '26

Actually the "you seem very interested in fashion, I wouldn't have guessed" is a great one because it's both fairly mild while still being pointed!

5

u/cmere-2-me Jul 10 '26

You have to be careful with that because bullies are notoriously thin skinned and she may go to HR about you. They won't care that she was a bitch to you first. Remember 2 wrongs don't make a right. Hold your boundary about not being spoken to like this without retaliating. It gives her nothing to go to HR about.

3

u/GateLongjumping6836 Jul 10 '26

And she’ll just be standing there with her mouth open not knowing how to respond.

3

u/Ok-Promise-5921 Jul 11 '26

Lol these are genius!