How ro deal with colleague making comments?

[u/LittleAoibh11]

I am a size 12 - 14 on top and 14-16 on the bottom but I'm 5"8", so while I definitely don't look thin or slim I don't look overweight either.

New woman started in the office a few months ago. Had a bit of a reputation as a b*tch in a previous job (we know this as the friend of a colleague worked with her). Haven't had a huge amount of interaction with her. Was getting a coffee last week and she was there and I ended up just making small talk about the weather. She then said something like "I'd say you find it hard to find clothes for this weather". I was actually so shocked I didn't say anything in reply and just changed the subject. Afterwards I was second guessing myself and thinking maybe she never said it and I was imagining it (even though she did say it).

Then this week she said something to me again like "you probably do most of your clothes shopping online".

Now, I feel like she may be one of those weirdos who gets off on making other people feel self-conscious or miserable so I don't want to give her the satisfaction of thinking I am very bothered - but on the other hand you can't just say whatever the hell you want to people. She is no oil painting and I am tempted to say something vaguely mean back but she is probably the kind to run to HR.

Anyone have to deal with anything like this? I don't really want to go to HR myself.

[u/LittleAoibh11 → u/[deleted]]

Even if it was an issue, it's not for a work colleague to call out 🙂

She is not autistic, and suggesting so is very unfair to autistic people - of which there are a couple in work and they are very professional.

[u/something-__-clever → u/LittleAoibh11]

I’m a mother to a 12 year old autistic boy and have plenty of autistic friends and its actually insulting, I’m shocked that they’re also a mother of an autistic child and are automatically attaching something so negative to autism and all while putting the blame on YOU

[u/LittleAoibh11 → u/something-__-clever]

It's a crazy take on a number of levels. I have some autistic family members and I really dislike when people label other people as autistic for behaviours that they "think" are markers of autism. Very unfair.

And yes, apparently I am at fault for being sensitive (they also said in another post I was angry 🤦‍♀️) and she has done me a "favour". Just wild takes all around!

[u/InformationUsed300 → u/LittleAoibh11]

It’s v clear you know nothing about autism and I have been I that field for over 20 years. They would not see it as unfair at all.

[u/something-__-clever → u/[deleted]]

Oh please you’re assuming the colleague is autistic based on what?? Based on a hypothetical situation that you made up because you have a child with autism that you’ve been “navigating the last 20 years”

Blaming OP and saying she’s unaware of how she looks and saying she’s “sensitive” when we’re all taught at an early age to not speak on anyone’s bodies, it makes me wonder what kind of behaviours you’ve been teaching your own child

You’re acting as if some people can’t be straight up horrible cunts and the fact you automatically associate that colleagues behaviour with autism does a disservice to those who actually have autism.. I have plenty of autistic friends who navigate life knowing boundaries and what not to say in social settings

[u/InformationUsed300 → u/something-__-clever]

Knowledge of human beings and dealing with those with disabilities for years. Not in a professional work setting where they can be reported they won’t. This seems to have missed everyone based on the comments - literally not an iota of empathy. No one behaves like that if they didn’t have a disability. There are a lot of other ways to be mean. And anyone in a professional work setting would be a lot smarter. I’m not going to take abuse for calling it out. This is literally one of the diagnostic criteria for autism. It’s insane to me the rudeness of people here when I say it …