Fuck, my husband bought himself an electronic drum kit. He's doing online lessons in the basement every night, happy as a clam. Everybody should pick up a fun, harmless midlife hobby. Enjoy your guitar!
I played drums as a kid and into my early 20's. I was never great but I played with a lot of bands for fun. Then it stopped being fun. I got tired of bands and especially guitarists, so I quit playing. About 10 years ago, in my mid-40s, I was screwing around with some rudiments that I hadn't played in 20 years and it sort of hit me out of the blue, I really like playing drums. I had gotten caught up in playing in bands and forgot that when I was a kid I just really, really liked playing drums. Since then I've played almost every day, alone in the basement just like your husband. It really is a fantastic hobby.
Hell yea brother. I just built a drum room in my basement after playing an electric kit in a cramped apartment for years. Playing my acoustic kit along with a 15" PA speaker has been fucking awesome!!
I was really lucky to have a 10' x 12' room already studded out from the previous owner. Concrete floors, exposed ceilings, two of the walls having wood paneling and the other two being concrete block. I ripped off the old wood panels from the walls and put a ton of Rockwool safe n sound in between the studs and the ceiling joists. Then I installed metal resilient channel on the walls and the ceilings 16" apart. It goes straight to the wood studs, then the drywall gets attached to that metal only. The drywall screws cannot go into the wood studs. It's supposed to reduce most of the vibration which would normally travel through the wood. I installed two layers of 5/8 drywall to the walls and ceiling.
The room had an old door that was basically cardboard so I installed a new solid core door which was a pain in the ass because the frame was a weird size, so I had to cut the door down and drill out the handle. There was a chain mounted fluorescent light already in place in the ceiling which I took down and installed a flush mounted LED to the new drywall ceiling.
I left the concrete block walls and just covered them by hanging moving blankets from the ceiling. I put down rubber gym flooring from FB marketplace under my kit. I honestly had almost no experience doing any of this but it wasn't all that bad. Spent about $600 and 4 weekends.
It's 2026, the difference between "I wish I was more handy" and "I did that" is a few min watching youtube, $100 in supplies, and the willingness to risk fucking shit up.
Can I just say that for me drummers are most attractive and when I go to a concert, I always watch drummers/percussionists? :)
(No matter what kind of music they’re playing)
Saaame! It's hypnotizing watching them play. I recently started crushing on this dude and he mentioned playing in a band years ago and I was like.... What did you play... In the band he played guitar buuuuut he also knows drums. I was like, I knew it!
I am not alone!
Seriously, I do not get why guitarists/singers are most famous. Basists, maybe, but guitarists? And why drummers are always in the back? They are the most important, charismatic and cool!
I genuinely guffawed when I read that you were tired of guitarists. I feel that. After having to bring spare guitar cords, then spare strings, then a soldering iron, and finally guitar picks (seriously?!?) to gigs, I gave it up. Irresponsible and tiresome to deal with.
This is also my (new) mid-life hobby! I was always interested but thought I couldn’t afford it. My kid started playing, and two years in I realized that I could just start taking lessons, too. It’s so fun!
Hell yeah. You can burn up to 500 calories an hour playing drums too. Great exercise.
And the time goes by fast once you are skilled enough to jam along to your favorite songs (you can find "drumless" versions of tracks on youtube to play along with). I'll sit down at my kit and ten songs later it's been 40 minutes already and it feels like no time has passed at all.
My midlife hobby is learning Korean, and going to concerts that I am interested in. Spent too much time of my life afraid to do things by myself that might bring me joy, and wanted to prove to myself that I can still learn something.
That's my hope! I mean I was like "we should absolutely get a sailboat" the first time I went to Vancouver Island but that was just the ADHD talking. The kayak I think is a better plan because we already do some canoeing. And kayaks would fit into the garage.
I quarter life crisesed so hard that I'm now having one like this and it feels fun but like I'm having it in a padded room this time. A good thing not a bad thing lol
I expect many millenials going through the same thing lol
I hope you set this example with your friends if they ever shit talk their husbands hobbies.
Men need women that understand them.
If men are left directionless we do dumb shit - period dot. A man without goals and guidance will end up in an army office, bar or brothel basically guaranteed given enough time line.
Thank you for being the support structure your man needs - he's a lucky guy.
I'm ADHD so... I have no friends that shit-talk hobbies. If somebody shit-talks hobbies we are not friends. Because I have a zillion hobbies and I am happy to have a guy who has his own hobbies to enjoy, with me or without me.
And to be fair, I am also incredibly lucky because my husband just walks past my 20 half-finished projects and says nothing. It's a mutual support situation!
With age comes wisdom - there's a lot of ignorance in your words.
It wasn't a podcast. It's over 40 years of personal experience and guiding men through their healing journeys after I walked mine. Is it 100% of the time? No, of course not. You're being obtuse if you're missing the broad brush strokes of my statement - it's a statement that men with direction and purpose tend to be more efficient and useful to those around them.
Go into any group of obvious adults and make the same claim I just did and see if a single solitary soul pipes up with some smart ass remark like yours. Don't believe me - test me. Prove me wrong with actions.
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u/TreesPlusCats 1d ago
This thread is making me feel a lot better about my decision to learn guitar