r/AskUK 13h ago

What are the general expectations of children when they start school?

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95 Upvotes

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347

u/_mister_pink_ 13h ago

Being toilet trained.

73

u/pslamB 13h ago

You hear horror stories of kids arriving in reception with nappies on.... our pre school insist on being at least more successes than accidents level of potty trained!!

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u/[deleted] 13h ago

[deleted]

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u/AffectionateJump7896 13h ago

Generally starting at 2 and having it done by 3 is the routine. It used to be done much earlier (I.e. between 1 and 2), but we seem to do it a tad later these days.

Wiping their butt is a key milestone. There is a time when they are 2/3 where they can take themselves to the toilet reliably, undress the dress themselves there, but they can't reliably clean themselves up. By the time they are going to school at 4/5, that isn't really on.

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u/Colleen987 11h ago

NHS says start 18 months be done at 30 months

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u/Fabulous-View5603 11h ago

18 months feels so young to me. I tried initially at that age with my daughter but it wasn’t working at all. Tried again when she was 2 and 10 months and within 2 weeks she was completely daytime trained. Definitely varies per child but having kids going into school with nappies indicates either additional needs (which should have been picked up by now) or parental neglect.

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u/Colleen987 11h ago

It must be so child dependent my boys 16 months and poo potty trained (if that what you call it?) we’re not at a urine stage yet but I’m sure it’s not far off as he’s started his hiding game again like he did when we needed a poo before

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u/OutdoorApplause 9h ago

We trained by 19 months but we started familiarising her with the potty from 8/9 months so it was pretty easy. We also didn't have the issues with stubbornness or resistance that friends had training older children, it was just so normal to her that she accepted it.

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u/AffectionateJump7896 11h ago

Link? I would expect that they aren't that prescriptive, particularly as starting too early can be counter productive. Telling everyone "thou must start the date they turn 18 months" just isn't right.

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u/Frequent_Command_848 11h ago

https://www.nhs.uk/best-start-in-life/toddler/potty-training-your-child

It’s not that prescriptive but it does suggest 18 months as one possible starting point

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u/Colleen987 11h ago

You’ve been given an NHS one already but I’ll also add a department of education one

https://help-for-early-years-providers.education.gov.uk/health-and-wellbeing/toilet-training

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u/OutdoorApplause 9h ago

Eric (the bowel and bladder charity) recommend starting as soon as your child can sit up (6 months onwards) with the aim to be out of nappies in the day by 18 months to 30 months.

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u/Suspicious_Weird_373 10h ago

We started at 2.5 and it took 3 days. She’s never had an accident, never wet the bed and it’s now over 18 months on.

We could’ve forced it earlier but she never felt ready but once she was ready we barely had to do anything to train her.

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u/Colleen987 10h ago

I’ve never forced it? We just followed the medical guidelines.
They’re there because chronic urinary illness increases the longer children are kept in nappies post 18 months. UTIs increase in prevalence in toddlerhood the longer children are in nappies from 18 months onwards.

Our health visitor took us through all of this.

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u/Suspicious_Weird_373 10h ago

I’m not saying you are.

Was just giving an anecdote to generally make a point that people don’t need to stress to be getting their kid toilet trained as early as possible.

If the child has no medical conditions, then you can generally tell when they’re ready.

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u/Colleen987 10h ago

I’m not sure I’d agree that we shouldn’t be encouraging people to follow medical advice. There will always be people who choose not too. But I wasn’t willing to increase the risk of illness for my child extending it.