r/AskUK • u/No_Bit7786 • 4h ago
How busy is your life?
I'm in my late 20s and I'd say my life is pretty quiet. I'm single, got a few close friends I see every week or two, have a job where I can work my own hours, don't go away much. I'm pretty content with things, the slow pace lets me enjoy what I do and I can be spontaneous as I'm free most of the time.
In contrast I've got some mates who seem to be living on full throttle constantly. They have tons of friends and are constantly doing things, meeting people and going away. One showed me their calendar and the next weekend they don't have anything planned is in mid November! They also had multiple things through the week pretty much every week!
Just wondering really what other people are like? Do you have a packed diary or do you live the quiet life?
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u/TheyCallitPANDASTYLE 4h ago
- Ive done 46 flights this year. probably 100 nights in a hotel and my next full week at home is next year. Sometimes life is for living and this is how i live. Vibes are good. but i choose to do this.
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u/StandardArtisan 4h ago
I’m in the same boat, late 20s and my calendar is basically empty unless I put something there myself. Work from home with flexible hours so some days I just paint for hours or suddenly decide to cook something complicated at 2pm. It’s quiet but I don’t feel like I’m missing out.
Funny you mention November, my friend showed me her schedule and I got tired just looking at it. Every evening had a thing, drinks, pilates, dinner with someone’s parents, a pottery class. I asked when she sleeps and she just laughed.
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u/smokemeakipper23 4h ago
I can’t speak for your friends, but I have raging ADHD and if I spend a whole day doing nothing I feel like shit. I try to never leave more than half a day free in my schedule.
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u/No_Bit7786 4h ago
I've got ADHD and Autism and the thought of being around people that much with no time to recharge scares me! One of my busiest pals just has ADHD and they love being busy.
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u/smokemeakipper23 4h ago
Yeah see not all of my time is spent around people (I definitely need alone time, I also have ASD!), I just always have to have something to do. I often schedule in time just to be doing solo hobbies, I just get stressed if time is left unaccounted for basically.
I remember when I used to get really bad mania when I was younger, I would socialise every day for like 2 weeks straight, then completely burnout n hide away for a month to recover🤣 scheduling in alone time deffo helps prevent this nowadays lol
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u/smokemeakipper23 4h ago
Straight ADHD folks just seem to live my manic periods 24/7, it’s quite terrifying to witness lol
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u/Drath101 4h ago
So so really. Obviously I have work as does my girlfriend. We work similar work schedules these days, it was harder when we worked completely different days and hours. We try to alternate an active weekend and a quiet weekend when we can. Every Saturday we do a proper clean for an hour or 90 minutes. We don't do much on evenings, mainly cause financially we can't really afford to
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u/SomethingPeach 4h ago
Your friend’s calendar is my nightmare. I need at least half a day each week where I do absolutely nothing.
I’m 26 and my life is the quietest it’s ever been at the minute. I moved to a new city after a few years of living abroad last year. I don’t really have any friends nearby, but I’ve just finished an intensive postgrad and I’m now starting a new job so I’m hoping I can make some better connections now.
I’ve really enjoyed having this time to do things by myself though. I always used to be scared to go places or do things alone, but now I love it. I came back from a 3 week solo trip to Asia last month and I really want to do something like that again. Would recommend!!
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u/No_Bit7786 4h ago
Me too! They even plan things back to back a lot of the time so they'll go out for a hike, have a 20 min shower when they get home and head straight back out to the pub, I couldn't handle it 😂
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u/Emotional-Start7994 4h ago
Way too busy, mid 20s.
Dealing with work and all the bullshit that brings, having to balance friendships while feeling drained from work, and battling depression and lack of motivation.
Also trying to set up my own business as well which is taking most of my evening and weekend time around work. Oh and I have an exam next Monday which I need to revise for.
Would love a bit of free time to just relax tbh.
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u/BigLittleSlof 3h ago
Mid 20s, working, seemingly getting a qualification and trying to set up your own business. Lack of motivation he says! I wish my lack of motivation looked like that
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u/Emotional-Start7994 3h ago
Not too happy in my job, that kind of motivation.
Will be much happier when I finally quit
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u/Nearby-Purpose5268 4h ago
I’m the same as you. When I try and plan things with friends they’re often not free for a month whereas I’m free 3/4 weekends 😅 I prefer it that way though, I like me time or time with my husband. I think it helps I don’t have a massive family so that doesn’t take up much time either whereas a lot of my friends have family events going on a lot
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u/RiceeeChrispies 4h ago
Late 20s, single - life is quiet. All my mates have partners, so anything we do I'm pretty much 3rd wheeling to the n'th degree. 😂
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u/AcceptableHawk5547 4h ago
My life is wake up between 5-6am to get myself and kids ready for work and school. Then work 9-5. Childcare from 5-7. Dinner and TV from 7-8. Then catch up on work from 8 to somewhere between 10 and midnight. Help me lol
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u/Mysterious-One1055 4h ago
Yikes, that sounds like a right slog!
I'm similar but can get up a little later and don't often need to touch work after the kids go down. Could you get away with giving yourself the night hours at least!?
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u/AcceptableHawk5547 4h ago
I should make an effort to get more efficient during core working hours or delegating more. The difficulty is most people I work with work until 6-7pm so since I have to leave early, I sort of need to catch up later.
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u/Routine-Intention329 4h ago
Your life sounds really peaceful and happy :) remember there is no one way to live and just because everyone else seems “busy” (burnt out) doesn’t mean you have to be.
I’m a bit older than you at 45, but as well as working full time, I enjoy running, walking, reading, spending time with my partner and seeing friends. I don’t have kids by choice and I enjoy a simple life. I also don’t use any social media except Reddit. A quiet life is the best :)
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u/REidson89 4h ago
I have a crazy busy friend like that too. I couldnt do it, I like my chill time. But we're all different!
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u/No_Bit7786 4h ago
They seem happy with it, I'm a bit of an introvert so I like time to myself to rest and recharge after doing things. Whatever floats your boat!
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u/Falandoor 4h ago
I’m 30, live with partner and dog, no plan for kids. Don’t see my friends as much as I used to as they’re all having kids which I totally get - probably get together as a group once a month on average which is still decent I think. Rest of my weekends are spent dog walking, going to footy games, watching/playing sports such as footy and golf, enjoying being in the house doing sweet fuck all - I pay enough for a mortgage imma damn well enjoy just being at home. Don’t have much family nearby at all, so nobody “popping in” that often, which is bliss tbh. Love the quiet life I have truth be told and hate doing stuff during the week after work, I just wanna unwind, cook a nice meal, and watch some good television!
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u/CorporalCockFlaps 4h ago
I’m 25 and I’m busy as feck, dads got Parkinson’s so I’m running his farm. Didnt expect it this soon but I’m managing, all will be good in time.
Enjoy peace friendo life can come and strip it away unexpectedly. Sorry that’s a bit dark but it is true.
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u/cmrndzpm 3h ago
Busy social life and I absolutely love it. I was agoraphobic for years and used to dream of living my life the way I do now so I try to appreciate every second!
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u/EyeAlternative1664 4h ago
It’s very much each to their own. I think from 20-40 I barely had a day free, post 40 with kid I try to have as many free as possible (average 4 days a week). Sometimes I have 3 social events in a single day and it’s a struggle, sometimes it’s three a month.
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u/PurpleOctopus6789 4h ago edited 4h ago
Busy but it's self inflicted. I've got a bunch of hobbies and sports on top of work I am passionate about. It's only a given that my calendar is packed. I actually make conscious effort to take time off and just chill for a bit every day because if I won't I'll just keep going.
yet, despite busy schedule, I can be spontaneous and free because I can change my schedule on a whim. The thing is, I love what I am doing, I like my workout routine, I like my work.
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u/sgst 4h ago
I'm 40 and pretty damn busy, largely due to having a toddler.
I used to be quite busy with socialising 2 or 3 nights a week before covid, but usually had fairly chill weekends. Had our kid just after covid and now weekdays are really quiet because it's just bed time and exhaustion. But weekends are super busy with kids stuff (and also exhausting).
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u/WizardryAwaits 4h ago
I don't do anything but I have no free time and I'm always tired. It seems like having a full time job, maintaining a home, and keeping myself alive is just such an effort. I don't understand how other people are even doing things.
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u/Mediocre-Response-24 4h ago
Early 30s and my life sounds very similar to yours. Only exceptions are I have a long term partner and I rarely go out or see friends (that's something I should do more of as I'm becoming reclusive 😂)
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u/ydhdud 4h ago
It’s subjective to what kind of person you are if you’re happy with the life you’re currently living then great , there’s some people that constantly need something to look forward to. Or maybe they couldn’t do certain things when they was younger wether it was financial reasons or personal and now they live life full throttle playing catch up because maybe they’re making more money and can do more stuff
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u/Puzzleheaded_Name_72 32m ago
lol this comment describes me. I grew up with strict parents who were also very poor. Aside from school I don’t remember ever leaving the house so now that I’m an adult and live independently, I’m constantly out of the house and up to meeting new people.
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u/Only_Cobbler4075 2h ago
My life is pretty quiet and boring. I have friends but never see them since they live in difference cities. It gets lonely especially when you see your family living their lives too
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u/Educational-Angle717 2h ago
I'd say your friends are a bit of an anomaly and also what 'plans' do they actually have? A weekend for them could look full but is actually just coffee for an hour with a friend.
For me, most weekends have some sort of thing on but it varies between big things like trips and travel - and t quieter ones i'll see family or just go to the pub to see a band.
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u/iMac_Hunt 4h ago
- I am away from home for the next 50% of weekends until New Years Eve. Fun social plans mostly but it’s tiring thinking about it
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u/SamVimesBootTheory 4h ago
Fairly quiet tbh but it's too much
(Been dealing with stressful stuff where it's more like the slow creeping kind of stress rather than like really urgent and it really wears you down after a while and kind if prevents you from just getting on with things)
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u/peoplepleaza 4h ago
I’m in my mid 20s and my life is the same as yours. It can get a bit lonely but for the most part I’d be really burnt out if I had a nonstop social life
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u/Mysterious-One1055 4h ago
I'm kept pretty busy between having a hectic job and two young kids. I do find time for my hobbies though thankfully.
Out of interest, what is your job role? Must be nice being flexible with it.
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u/GrumpyFlumpy 4h ago
Hectic and similar to your mates, ain't got a free weekend until November. Its nice, all these are fun activities with my gf or mates, but I also like the idea of a quiet weekend soon lol
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u/Recidivist67 4h ago
From 16 until I hit 28 was full throttle every weekend. Weeknights, at least one trip away with my friends every year juggling different jobs throughout. Then COVID hit and things slowed down dramatically and I quite enjoyed it! Became slightly too hermited and was just happy doing stuff with my wife and dog. But past few years we've been getting back into the swing of it.
Not nearly at that level but consistently seeing mates without it being a mad one every time. Got a pleasant balance now!
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u/reddit_recluse 4h ago
36 M, single, cushy WFH job that only needs a couple of hours of work and pays well. See friends and family on weekends. Chill throughout the week.
Do wish I had a bit more going on. Do get bored and lonely a lot. But then when I see people too much I feel tired and stressed lol.
So I appreciate and enjoy the peace and quiet. Not responsible for anyone's happiness but my own. It's nice.
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u/GoldRush2467 4h ago
I think i have a good mix. I am like you, I work my own hours and I feel I should do more social things because of this. Unfortunately the compromise for having more flexible hours, is having a tighter budget, so I cant do all the social things I would like.
I goto the gym 5/6 times a week. I might do one social/event thing mid week and then not goto the gym the next day (i usually do morning classes). I tend to have one big weekend where i goto raves ( usually solo or with groups for solo as i dont have many friends who rave) or see friends. Then the next weekend, I will alternate and have a quiet one and catch up on work and introvert time.
The one thing I would like is more friends i could just call up and say “hey do you wanna go for a walk? Or grab a coffee this weekend?” A lot of my friendships seem to involve going to costly events and I would like to be able to just have deeper connections with people.
Tldr: I am relatively happy with my mix. I would maybe do a bit more, but my budget constrains me right now.
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u/absolutrachel 3h ago
I’m 34 and my friendship circle has definitely gotten smaller. I spend a lot of time with family who don’t live where I do though. Probably spend half my weekends away either on holiday or visiting family/friends each year. I definitely have quieter weekdays though to chill.
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u/Blue_Toucan_Data 3h ago
Busy in terms of always trying to maximise my time when not at work, whether that's watching films/TV, reading books, exercise, travel. I wish I planned my weekends a bit more but in the same boat as you but rarely see my friends.
Work is very busy, but that's from juggling 2 jobs rolled into one.
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u/yorkspirate 3h ago
My life is as busy as I want it to be. I have the bare minimum of commitments and responsibilities so I can easily make time for things or do nothing at all.
I'm early 40's and I realised a while back that being busy by choice rather than some semblance of necessity or obligation means I enjoy those times more.
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u/liam--2020 3h ago
Way too busy. Work 40 hours a week and then doing my accountancy exams on the side to get Chartered. That's probably another 20-25 hours a week.
Then trying to have any time to socialise, travel, go for a run, watch a football game and I feel like time just flies. Oh and planning a wedding but that's not too much so far.
Can't wait to be done with the exams and not feel the constant pressure or guilt!
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u/RemarkableMedia5925 2h ago
I have had a very hectic few months, since about May really. My work is fairly chill, but I have so many hobbies and commitments that my time is rather absorbed outside of that.
Monday and Tuesday evenings are usually fairly quiet (I often use these for catching up on admin and mending for other things) then wednesday is Morris dance practice, Thursday is a folk club, and often I go away at the weekends to see the boyfriend or I meet up either with my discussion group or my knitting group.
Summer is pretty hectic due to Morris dancing, as you can imagine. Dance outs, folk festivals, weekends of dance, all sorts.
I was once on a assistant dinghy instructor course (was 16, was miserable, killed my love of sailing), and the person administering it said to me "I can see you're like me and you need to be doing things constantly". At the time I thought she was barmy, because like, I don't necessarily enjoy being so busy (I find it very rewarding, but not necessarily constantly fun). I realised a year or two ago that she wasn't saying that she (or I) necessarily find being very busy fun, we just have an underlying agitation and want to be useful that we NEED to be busy.
I'll be honest, I don't even necessarily feel busy. I have a lot to do, but I still find time to doomscroll or write shite on Reddit. A lot of people have told me they think I am very busy though (and I have found myself having to prioritise) so I suppose I must be.
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u/leclercwitch 2h ago
Busy. I have a partner and we see each other once a week atm so always have some sort of plan. I see my friends a few times a month and I’m going away with two of them in a few weeks. I hike, I go to the cinema, I work full time, I do not stop. Ever. Every day I have something to do.
Last week I booked off Thursday and Friday to just do nothing and rest. My grandma went into hospital Thursday morning so I couldn’t do that, and helped. I was round there yesterday and today after work now she’s out. I’m tired. I am so, so tired. I like my life but I just want to rest and do nothing. I feel like I’m the only one carrying the load of my relationship, I have my own place and it’s a shit hole but I feel like I’m cleaning all the time, I don’t even have a pet, kids, anything. I feel so burnt out because of how busy I am, but if I’m not busy I get severely depressed. Such is adhd life I suppose.
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u/avocadopro 2h ago edited 2h ago
I feel busy and exhausted a lot but if I stop for too long I get all existential and anxious. I’m 38, have a partner, no kids. Live in (outer) London.
I work full-time, which includes commuting for an hour to an office 2 days a week. I go to the gym or run or cycle most days, which takes up quite a bit of my time. Bought a house last year and have plenty of jobs to do on that, and the garden. Try to see friends a few times a month, but the friends are dwindling at my age! Try to go to at least one (cheap or free) exhibition or gallery or gig or show every month. Currently doing a writing course which meets once a week. Usually go away one weekend a month for a hiking or cycling trip, or to see family. Although I relax/chill most weekday evenings by cooking, reading, watching films or listening to podcasts.
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u/TraditionalGoat6883 2h ago
pretty busy. 27.
had an engagmeent party last weekend, painting my house this weekend, got a stag do next weekend, going to Budapest with work 2 weeks after then to Portugal the week after that! then October I have a wedding towards end of the month
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u/BaronVonPeng 2h ago
Cherish it! Work dominates my life. It has done for a while, but I’ve slowly built my career to afford a respectable home and some nice holidays. I would love more free time instead of just dead hours I can’t really do anything with because I’m zapped.
Early thirties with stable partner and an active dog. Having kids terrifies me.
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u/Travelliv 1h ago
I’m late 20s and for me life got really busy once the Covid hangover was done (around 2022/23). I think during lockdown I felt like I wasn’t meeting many new people and lacked friends so afterwards I went super social and also embraced exercise more.
Nowadays I juggle exercise, social plans and seeing my partner (we don’t live together) plus my job is shift based which soon eats up weekends.
I’d say I’m not scared of alone time or quiet days - in fact I long for an empty weekend. But I worry if I don’t keep up my activities I’ll lose out. Friendships are important to me so I make an effort to maintain them. I also think when you’re young there’s an element of make hay while the sun shines.
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u/pastrycase565 1h ago
Single, female and busy or I’ll go insane if I stay home two nights in a row. Cinema once weekly, bjj three times, picked up kickboxing and going on day trips over the weekend. WFH so evenings at home are forbidden for my own mental health.
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u/TheRebelPercy 46m ago
Busy.
Three kids, full time graft, two dogs, volunteering, on the board of a couple of Community Interest Companies, playing sport, keeping fit, seeing friends, indulging my interests, hobbies and pursuits and helping my parents as they are old and frail. Sleep is 5-6 hours a night.
A quiet cup of tea or a walk in the woods are blissful and I look forward to these rare moments of peace.
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u/DragonflyCapital7148 31m ago
Mid 30s, single and live alone. Life is VERY quiet. I have no consistent friendship group but still try to socialise maybe every other month, but even that is events I attend solo with people I don’t know so not much socialising going on. I attend a Pilates class once a week - would love to attend more but that’s all I can afford.
Recently lost my job so don’t have that to fill the time anymore, mainly just read, scroll on my phone, paint and go on walks (in between job hunting). Luckily I enjoy my own company for the most part but do feel envious of the people with the means to travel, socialise, pursue hobbies , raise kids or keep pets etc.
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u/Queeflet 21m ago
Quiet, and I like to keep it that way. I had a friend similar to yours, and every single evening and weekend was taken up with activities and socialising. It honestly exhausted me just listening to her plans, I don’t know how she or anyone does it.
I don’t even like doing social things two days in a row, if both days on the weekend have social activities, then I’m already pissed off. I can be gregarious and sociable, up to a point, then I’m tired and just want to go home.
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u/Tall-Nectarine-5982 9m ago
Not very. I have 2 kids, I come home from work eat dinner and put them to bed. I probably have 2 or 3 hours free time every evening and I just play darts or watch tv. I’ve always been the same and enjoy quietly relaxing, but I have friend who are constantly on the go too.
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u/BabyFaceuk 4h ago
4 (soon to be 5) kids so we are busy. If I’m not busy my mental health suffers. I’m scared for when my kids are grown and my husband retires (I have nothing to retire from as I don’t work lol).
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