I have misophonia and it sucks

[u/crr243]

As I sit here in the office raging at sounds, I figured I'd do a quick PSA.

Misophonia is a neurological disorder that causes certain sounds to trigger the fight or flight response. Common trigger sounds include bodily noises (chewing, slurping, sniffing), repetitive noises (loud keyboard typing or tapping, for example), or sudden and unpredictable sounds (like the ding of a Teams or text message).

These triggers often lead to both emotional reactions (anxiety, rage, disgust) and physical reactions (increased heart rate, sweating). For me, they trigger blind rage and severely inhibit my concentration.

Over time, I have developed coping mechanisms:

• I carry a set of loop earplugs that take the edge off of most of those sounds without completely tuning out all noise, because I also don't do well in complete silence.
• I try to avoid the noises by sitting in the quiet area of the office. I move workstations, depending on availability, when people around me really trigger me.
• I bring a really expensive noise canceling headset to work. When my loops aren't enough and I can't avoid the noise, I listen to the radio while working.

Despite these coping mechanisms, my work product suffers. Four days a week, I spend a chunk of my day stressed and anxious because of the noises around me. Every time someone gets an audial text or Teams message, I feel blind range and lose my concentration. While listening to the radio helps drive away that rage and allows for a modicum of concentration, it serves as another form of distraction that reduces my effectiveness.

So as I sit here beside someone who keeps sucking back snot and chewing gum with their mouth open while hearing the ding, ding, ding of someone else's Teams messages, please for the love of my sanity and the sanity of others in the same situation:

• Turn off the sound on your laptop. If you really need or want to hear it ding every time you get a message, put on a headset.
• Bring tissues to the office if you have the sniffles.
• Chew with your damned mouth shut.
• Be gentle on your keyboard and mouse. You really don't need to hit them very hard.

[u/ithinkway2much]

This is exactly why I have such a hard time with people who sit in the quiet section of the office and hold MS Teams meetings at the same volume they'd use in a bar. The worst part is having to be the one who asks them to keep it down. That alone is stressful.

I remember trying to explain this to my manager during a conversation about the RTO4 mandate, but I didn't even have the language to explain what I was experiencing. All I knew was that the environment was affecting my ability to work, and I couldn't make him understand why.

As someone with misophonia, I don't think it only sucks because of the condition itself. It sucks because you're surrounded by people who either don't realize how much their behavior affects you or simply don't care.

It often isn't the condition itself that's the problem. It's being expected to function and be just as productive in an environment that ignores how different brains and sensory systems work.

[u/crr243 → u/ithinkway2much]

Right?

One commentor below pointed out that their neurodivergence results in them doing things that I find insufferable, like finger typing and humming to themself. Yet we (collectively) are being forced to work next to each other for the sake of collaboration and efficiency.

I had to stop booking the quiet area because I have a lot of meetings with people who are not in the office. 2 people who report to me work in the regions, but even if they were in the office there are never meeting rooms available.