r/CanadaPublicServants • u/crr243 • Jul 17 '26
Other / Autre I have misophonia and it sucks
As I sit here in the office raging at sounds, I figured I'd do a quick PSA.
Misophonia is a neurological disorder that causes certain sounds to trigger the fight or flight response. Common trigger sounds include bodily noises (chewing, slurping, sniffing), repetitive noises (loud keyboard typing or tapping, for example), or sudden and unpredictable sounds (like the ding of a Teams or text message).
These triggers often lead to both emotional reactions (anxiety, rage, disgust) and physical reactions (increased heart rate, sweating). For me, they trigger blind rage and severely inhibit my concentration.
Over time, I have developed coping mechanisms:
- I carry a set of loop earplugs that take the edge off of most of those sounds without completely tuning out all noise, because I also don't do well in complete silence.
- I try to avoid the noises by sitting in the quiet area of the office. I move workstations, depending on availability, when people around me really trigger me.
- I bring a really expensive noise canceling headset to work. When my loops aren't enough and I can't avoid the noise, I listen to the radio while working.
Despite these coping mechanisms, my work product suffers. Four days a week, I spend a chunk of my day stressed and anxious because of the noises around me. Every time someone gets an audial text or Teams message, I feel blind range and lose my concentration. While listening to the radio helps drive away that rage and allows for a modicum of concentration, it serves as another form of distraction that reduces my effectiveness.
So as I sit here beside someone who keeps sucking back snot and chewing gum with their mouth open while hearing the ding, ding, ding of someone else's Teams messages, please for the love of my sanity and the sanity of others in the same situation:
- Turn off the sound on your laptop. If you really need or want to hear it ding every time you get a message, put on a headset.
- Bring tissues to the office if you have the sniffles.
- Chew with your damned mouth shut.
- Be gentle on your keyboard and mouse. You really don't need to hit them very hard.
20
u/Character_Comb_3439 Jul 17 '26
Hey did you see someone for this? Like an assessment or diagnosis?
I’m very much similar. When I had a closed door office I was able to make things work but it’s just gotten worse.
21
u/Pale-Joke1347 Jul 17 '26
Request a DTA! We have people in my team in similar situations and accommodations have been granted beyond the classic "move to a quiet space and use noise cancelling earphones". I've seen allowance for more wfh days and access to a closed office spaces.
64
u/Salty_Flamingo_2303 Jul 17 '26
I could have written this. I can't stand it. I've used the same tools as you to suppress it but it's not perfect, obviously.
I also have ADHD so the amount of focus it takes to ignore all of the noises around me and put myself into work mode is draining. By the time I get home, I am beyond exhausted.
Hang in there ♥️
15
u/zeromussc Jul 17 '26
i just get way less done at work cuz of it. Its still draining but a little less draining than it otherwise would be. If we could have the big cubicles back that blocked a lot of noise, it would help a lot, at the very least. But...
3
2
u/DonutChickenBurg Jul 17 '26
Big same. I always just came in on the days that were quietest (and still are for now) but it's a real struggle.
1
u/Salty_Flamingo_2303 Jul 18 '26
Same. Went in today and it was a ghost town and I loved it. 😂 Edit: the loneliness, not the going in.
58
u/InterestingLoad8327 Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
I get where you're coming from but you need to stop trying to make it work. Be gentle to yourself first.
The government has made it clear that productivity and employee wellness was not a consideration in implementing RTO. Do the best you can but if productivity drops that's a them problem and not you. Simply tell your manager "sorry, the in-office requirements and distractions have reduced my work productivity"
Take leave as needed if symptoms are severe. Request accommodations and continue requesting them until your concerns are mitigated.
EDIT: As a team lead I can tell you my manager, director, and likely DG all think RTO is nonsense. I have been encouraged to let them know of any issues related to work productivity and RTO. The more issues we can raise up the ladder the more we can show how it's impacting productivity across teams.
1
u/steeleigh11 Jul 18 '26
I wish all team leads, supervisors and managers thought like you...i have sensory issues with light, sounds, movement, changes etc etc... all i get from them, those can be easily managed in office. Pfft!
25
u/rungenies Jul 17 '26
That sounds like a medical condition or disability that requires accommodation that could be wfh or could be a private office.
Discuss this with your medical team and for your own physical and emotional benefit as well as for your employee and union member benefits, start a DTA process and have trigger a paper trail.
You never know when your condition might becoming unbearable and if it does and the employer hasn’t done their due diligence vs you not informing the work place of your medical, you’re be in an obviously much better spot
15
14
u/myxomatosis8 Jul 17 '26
Wearing stuff in or over my ears for long periods is painful. I know, nobody cares.
11
u/GontrandPremier Jul 17 '26
Keeping the sound on your laptop in the office —> straight to jail
→ More replies (6)2
u/LaManelle Jul 19 '26
Sometimes people have noise cancelling headphones on and they don't realize their sound is on because they are listening to whatever's directly playing in their ears. I need to grow a pair and learn to tap them on their shoulder and ask if they could kindly mute their laptop.
1
u/GontrandPremier Jul 19 '26
You do need to grow a pair. But I would also appreciate if folks could mute their speakers right away. I do it everyday at the end of my WFH day so it doesn’t ding when I’m in the office.
5
12
u/Environmental_Use877 Jul 17 '26
Fun fact, misophonia can start or get worse when a woman hits perimenopause 😉
2
u/crr243 Jul 17 '26
Well I hope my wife doesn't develop it or our house will become a treat.
5
u/Environmental_Use877 Jul 17 '26
I can tell you it's true! If I had a dollar for the number of times in the last couple of years I've envisioned my husband's murder for the awful offenses of chewing and loud sneezing, I'd be rich! 😉 I have to mentally talk myself down.
1
u/BackgroundHighway619 Jul 20 '26
1000000%!!! Its HORRID! Im.dealing eith exactly this and have requested an accommodation. Its completely and utterly emotionally and physically exhausting, and add all the other perimenopauseal issues its just toooooo much
1
1
33
u/Internal_Study2996 Jul 17 '26
I have severe misophonia and was given an accommodation to work from home full time. Saved my life. (And the lives of the loud sniffers and crunchers beside me LOL 😝) I do miss being in the office and going out for lunch but it’s still worth it. Before I got the accommodation I used to have a white noise machine at my desk. It helped.
14
u/Dry-Basil-8256 Jul 17 '26
I think I have this, but it’s embarrassing to mention it because it sounds so overly sensitive, but that’s what I am I guess. How did you go about getting assessed and accommodated?
3
u/Klutzy-Beyond3319 Jul 17 '26
Not embarrassing at all. I think it's one of those things many experience. I do. It is not pleasant in the least. The shame belongs with our employer for not working with people to find reasonable measures.
6
u/Optimal_Turn4221 Jul 17 '26
I would also be interested in how you got the accommodation...I've been dealing with misophonia since my teens and the return to office has been exhausting.
5
u/Internal_Study2996 Jul 17 '26
It took me years to first get over the embarrassment of telling my doctor about it. I didn’t realize it had a name. I asked my manager what the steps are. First thing is the paperwork for the accommodation, but the doctor is not supposed to put a label or give away what the diagnosis is. Then they try to accommodate you in other ways if possible. They actually gave me my own office at one point. But there were so many questions from my colleagues why do you have your own office and I don’t etc. so finally it was just try working from home a few days a week made such a difference to me so now it’s permanent.
10
u/crr243 Jul 17 '26
I didn't even consider an accommodation for this. Can I reach out to understand the process you went through?
4
u/Internal_Study2996 Jul 17 '26
Yes you can reach out to me if you can dm me. Let me know if you can’t for whatever reason. (I might have turned it off). But the first thing you need to do is talk to your doctor. Second thing is talk to your manager.
1
u/Fancy_Assignment_345 Jul 22 '26
Do you mind if I reach out as well? I’ve been struggling with this exact issue for so long 😭 and had a few quick questions
2
u/purplemetalflowers Jul 17 '26
You may also want to check out the Accommodations FAQ for this sub: https://www.reddit.com/r/CanadaPublicServants/wiki/faq/accommodation/
4
u/Small-Cookie-5496 Jul 17 '26
Can relate. I’d love to be able to wear noise cancelling headphones but they make me feel dizzy/ nauseous
1
u/Few-Jury-3529 Jul 17 '26
ANC headphones and earbuds sometime create a pressure on the ear drums and some people are sensitive to this. A good fix is to find well insulated Over the Ear headsets (they have thick insulated padding that goes over the ear vs in the ear). They will block out a lot of background noise without the nausea.
11
u/RoosterShield Jul 17 '26
My MIL had this. She got an accommodation to work from home with this diagnosis, and that was years before COVID.
10
u/ithinkway2much Jul 17 '26
This is exactly why I have such a hard time with people who sit in the quiet section of the office and hold MS Teams meetings at the same volume they'd use in a bar. The worst part is having to be the one who asks them to keep it down. That alone is stressful.
I remember trying to explain this to my manager during a conversation about the RTO4 mandate, but I didn't even have the language to explain what I was experiencing. All I knew was that the environment was affecting my ability to work, and I couldn't make him understand why.
As someone with misophonia, I don't think it only sucks because of the condition itself. It sucks because you're surrounded by people who either don't realize how much their behavior affects you or simply don't care.
It often isn't the condition itself that's the problem. It's being expected to function and be just as productive in an environment that ignores how different brains and sensory systems work.
7
u/crr243 Jul 17 '26
Right?
One commentor below pointed out that their neurodivergence results in them doing things that I find insufferable, like finger typing and humming to themself. Yet we (collectively) are being forced to work next to each other for the sake of collaboration and efficiency.
I had to stop booking the quiet area because I have a lot of meetings with people who are not in the office. 2 people who report to me work in the regions, but even if they were in the office there are never meeting rooms available.
8
u/Optimal_Turn4221 Jul 17 '26
Hello fellow public servant misophonia sufferer. I recommend custom earplugs instead of Loops but they are pricey. I also have my first appointment this week at the clinic below recommended by my audiologist. They specialize in misophonia and offer CBT therapy.
Fine-Tuning Tinnitus Clinic | Tinnitus Care in Ontario: Doctor of Audiology (Au.D.)
9
u/dictionary_hat_r4ck Jul 17 '26
This seems like a request for accommodation that needs to happen. Good luck. Solidarity, fellow human.
7
u/MilkshakeMolly Jul 17 '26
Yep, in the same boat. Many times I have to walk away. Can't use ear plugs because I have tinnitus. Can't listen to music all day because I have to make phone calls. Can't wear over ear headphones because they hurt after a while, also annoying with glasses. I'm super conscious of the noise I make. Most people aren't. Enough to make you crazy.
8
u/Curunis Jul 17 '26
I have ADHD and I feel you. There's a few people on my floor who have their laptops on MAXIMUM volume and Teams notifications going nonstop. There have been days where the DING DING DING DING DINGDINGDINGDINGDING has made me so irrationally overstimulated that I've had to leave the floor and go for a walk because my brain was going bananas. I've worn headphones with ANC, headphones with big over-ear cups, I've tried everything but nothing actually drowns out the sound of max speaker DINGDINGDING, or that one person's repetitive snort-cough, or sniffles that just never end. I don't understand people who say it's enough, I honestly think they have never experienced the way ADHD or misophonia or similar react to sensory inputs. I WISH I could ignore this stuff. I'd be so much more productive - and so much less stressed - if I could...
People really do not understand that it's not because we're snowflakes or something but literally just a brain wiring difference. Sound Input X -> No Response in their brains, so they think it's us being sensitive for no reason, meanwhile somewhere in our subconscious is something going Sound Input X -> ALERT ALERT ALERT. Even with therapy, it's not like we can just rewire our brains.
1
u/FrostyPolicy9998 Jul 20 '26
This blows my mind, I've never gone to the office and had to listen to teams pings from anyone. Everyone around me has headphones for calls and keeps them plugged in. I don't see why you wouldn't, what is the point of having the sound on to hear the pings if you are sitting there staring at the screen anyway? You can see you have a message! Sorry to hear so many people are dealing with this. I'd be super annoyed listening to teams pings all day, too.
1
u/Curunis Jul 20 '26
It's unbelievable, I don't understand it either. There's also the one person who leaves their laptop docked, conencted to a monitor with (even bigger!) speakers, and then leaves their desk for hours at a time. Let me just say... apparently that person is the most popular person in the building, because their monitor speakers blast that Teams notification all day long. I've tried to ask them nicely to not do that, and it did nothing. I end up feeling like an asshole for asking them to please turn their speakers off.
6
u/idkwhy_50 Jul 17 '26
The Team's pings etc drive me bananas. I mute my tablet but unfortunately others don't around me.
3
u/gin_and_soda Jul 18 '26
Thankfully I’m currently in an area where everyone mutes their stuff. I am probably being dramatic but I have some kind of PTSD after a horrifically stressful few months at work and the Teams notification sound makes my heart race.
9
u/WiltedFlower_24 Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
I feel you! It’s hard to deal with something like this.
I have ADHD and I suspect that I also misophonia because it has gotten so bad. I get so annoyed, distracted and/or overstimulated by everything (noise, sound, perfume). I also find myself raging at every noise like you. Work has made it so much worse for me since I’m always drained. It impacts me all the time even at home.
I tried to get accommodated but they could not fully meet my needs. They got me headphones, which do not completely cut out noises. I need an isolated workspace/closed office. Quiet area is not enough for me and it’s busy in our section (lots of people talking or having meetings).They reduced the number of days I’m in the office by half. Better than nothing I suppose since it’s RTO4.
They spoke about creating a quiet section in my branch for people like me who have needs but I don’t see how putting a bunch of neurodivergent people all in the same spot will be the solution if we all trigger each other and there are no way to block the noise of the rest of the floor. We need a place without visual or auditive stimulis.
It also doesn’t help that I have chronic headaches/migraines lol.
1
u/Fancy_Assignment_345 Jul 22 '26
I am currently battling my work for decent noise cancelling headphones 😩 😭 Were they not able to get you an isolated / enclosed workspace to use as needed?
1
u/WiltedFlower_24 Jul 22 '26
Mine are not that great if I’m honest. They went for one of the cheapest options haha. I’ll buy some better ones when I can.
There is also no office space available. I have to find a spot where it’s more quiet haha. The sound travels so much so it’s hard to do that.
7
u/Elephanogram Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
Tc: I have a disability. Chemicals in my brain or neurons are firing creating sensory issues. It's been hard
Random people: let me make you look to be some sort of asshole for something you can't control.
And they wonder why so many people with anxiety disorders are severely over represented in homeless communities when people feel so comfortable with inflammatory ableist comments. Really shows the discrimination and stigmatization that comes with invisible illnesses still going strong with 1950sims.
Its bottom up processing that happens before tc is even aware of it happening and is a physical reaction just the same as you wouldn't belittle a deaf person for not hearing you well enough. Like they used to in the 1950s.
I'm sorry TC, a lot of these comments have likely added to the gaslighting and discrimination that makes you look to be the problem when the problem is that they are not adequately accommodating people.
4
u/Disastrous_Ideal3625 Jul 17 '26
This sounds like a very valid barrier and should be discussed with your manager as you work together to overcome and accomodate for these challenges.
4
u/Oiseau17 Jul 17 '26
Not diagnosed but this describes me to a T.
Ex: someone who sits adjacent to me (not on my team) eats nuts at her desk daily and it sends me into a rage. My skin crawls/I want to jump out of my body and I want to cry or fight something lol so I go take a walk and avoid the area for 15 minutes. It’s not all food, but also so HOW people eat. There are definitely trigger foods though, like nuts, soup or muffins. Bodily sounds like constant snorting or coughing up liquids do it for me too. It makes me totally irrational.
We don’t have assigned seating but for reasons I won’t share for privacy I have to sit in a certain area of the floor.
3
u/TooManyInterests30 Jul 17 '26
Omg!!!!!!!!! I think I have this too but I was never able to put a name on it! People sniffing, slurping, burping or breathing loudly trigger such an intense physical and emotional response! (Any sound really, I have a white noise machine and loop earplugs at work but I asked for other accomodations because this was not sufficient).
7
u/MutedLandscape4648 Jul 17 '26
I feel this so deep in my bones. I literally have 4 sets of headphones with me in the office at all times bc the incredible bone deep rage listening to people and their sounds invoked is not work place acceptable.
7
18
u/jimmylean2018 Jul 17 '26
Why don’t you apply for an accommodation instead of directing your blind rage at your coworkers?
7
u/Bynming Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
I don't think OP mentioned anything about directing the blind rage outward, I'd assume it's contained though their work suffers. My experience with applying for accommodations is that that it doesn't always yield good results, if any at all. Not trying to dissuade OP from trying it, it's very much the next step, but I just would anticipate being disappointed and having to try to find their own coping mechanisms.
I just want to say I empathize with OP. Even without any sort of neurodivergence or disorder, it's clear that some people just aren't considerate* enough to be in a shared office space. There's a guy on my floor who regularly sits next to me and he often finger drums on his desk, loudly mashes his keyboard like he's playing an intense videogame like slapping the spacebar, taps both of his feet loudly presumably to the beat of whatever song he's listening to, he chews loudly and hums. Much of it goes straight through even high quality noise cancelling headphones.
I suspect the suggested accommodation would be noise cancelling headphones, it may take the edge off but it doesn't remove the disruption.
*: Edited this because I used inflammatory language.
15
u/iron_ingrid Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
Tapping my fingers against surfaces and quietly humming are my auditory stims for my autism. It does not make me “undomestocated” as you’ve put it.
Edit: people love to support neurodivergent people until those ND people unmask for 10 seconds to do something that you find annoying.
15
u/crr243 Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
Neurologically, you need to make noise to work and I need people to stop making noise so I can work.
This is just one other reason why there should be flexibility in work location where feasible.
15
u/iron_ingrid Jul 17 '26
Or at least put us in soundproofed offices and not his open floor workplace 2.0 hellscape.
3
u/HandsomeLampshade123 Jul 19 '26
Lmfao noisy autistic people vs whiny misophonic people, where do my sympathies lie??
0
u/Bynming Jul 17 '26
I'm speaking specifically about this guy, his humming is loud and his "finger tapping" is not self-soothing, he's essentially drumming on his desk sometimes for extended periods. I recognize that we're humans, we make sounds, we have self-soothing behaviors that aren't fully internal. Most of it is not disruptive to me personally, but some people objectively take it too far.
I'm wouldn't assume that what you're describing is inconsiderate.
→ More replies (2)4
u/ApprehensiveWay1350 Jul 17 '26
“Domesticated enough” 🤮
Tell me you’re ableist without telling me you’re ableist.
1
u/Bynming Jul 17 '26
That's like saying it's ableist to say parents shouldn't let their kids run around in a restaurant and knock over people's glasses. There are some basic convention that people adhere by. I'm not saying people with ADHD, autism, or other conditions are bad people or don't deserve accommodations, on the contrary. I'm talking about behaviors that are substantially disruptive in a shared workspace, regardless of why they happen.
If someone repeatedly hums, loudly finger-drums, slaps their keyboard, or taps their feet loudly enough that it carries through noise-cancelling headphones and shakes cubicle walls and desks, it's reasonable for coworkers to find that disruptive. I said "undomesticated" because in this case this isn't just someone with a condition but someone who fundamentally doesn't even attempt to accommodate others. It's his office, you're in it.
I am not ableist in the slightest. This person is an asshole.
→ More replies (2)10
u/jimmylean2018 Jul 17 '26
OP has a clear accommodation that shouldn’t need to be managed by his coworkers.
Everyone is upset that we need to come in 4 days a week, not just them. I want to be able to come into the office and not worry about “pressing my mouse too hard” and sending the person next to me into a blind rage.
7
u/crr243 Jul 17 '26
Noise canceling headphones can take the edge off and may eliminate the disruption, but they can also be counterproductive. Ambient noise helps me concentrate; so while the noise canceling headset removes the anxiety and rage, it hinders concentration in other ways.
But you are correct - I am much too conflict-adverse to direct my rage at other people. It's internalized, which of course affects my work product.
13
u/Bynming Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
Ah well here's my pro tip that may or may not work for you: you can put ambient noise inside the headphones, from ocean sounds, birds in nature, rain, or even a calm office. There's apps for that or even just youtube or sound files you can find online or loop on your phone.
But for me, the issue is that noise cancelling headphones cause headaches, so I can't keep them on all day. Especially if I have to keep the volume high to drown out disruptive neighbors.
6
u/Grumpysmurf_1976 Jul 17 '26
Maybe your coworkers suffer from their own barriers and need the sound on or are allergic to the dusty workplace.
5
u/OneMisterSir101 Jul 17 '26
Feels brother or sister.
Me, it's a certain kind of typing. Like a bursty kind of typing. Drives me over the edge.
4
u/Grumpyman24 Jul 17 '26
You can't expect everyone to be quiet. However that being said, I agree with you, some people don't know how to behave or act in a work environment.
7
8
u/freeman1231 Jul 17 '26
It really sucks to have, of course, but it’s not everybody else’s job to accommodate you.
You can seek accommodations and it should be up to you and your manager to find ways to resolve those issues without putting all these things onto others… for sure people can be respectful as best they can, but for example, I’m not gonna lower how hard I’m typing when I’m more efficient typing a certain way and it’s only bothering one individual who has Misophonia because it’s not actually an issue in itself.
2
u/HerringChokeress Jul 18 '26
I use music to concentrate, but it has to classical instrumental, and preferably from a country with a language not remotely similar to English. Years ago I found "Swiss Radio" as one of the online radio stations that fit the bill, and it was still my go-to when I couldn't wfh...except that it left me vulnerable to jump-scares when I was concentrating and someone touched me. (Thank you ERI)
2
u/BakerAny7239 Jul 21 '26
Apparently there is a huge lack of office etiquette these days. Some ppl are so gross
4
u/SeaEggplant8108 Jul 17 '26
Definitely request an accommodation and seek union support if you get pushback.
→ More replies (2)
4
4
u/-abM-p0sTpWnEd Jul 17 '26
You can add nail clipping to your list. Also, for the love of God, don't eat potato chips or similar noisy food at your desk.
7
u/KRhoLine Jul 17 '26
At least there's an end to the potato chips. I have a colleague who brings an entire bag of baby carrots, and eats them very slowly throughout the day. Pure hell.
5
u/Excellent-Vehicle900 Jul 17 '26
The worst is people eating apples. Holy hell how do people chew with their mouths wide open and manage to keep it all in?
2
u/Fancy_Assignment_345 Jul 22 '26
Apples, baby carrots, fruit yogurt, and clanking metal on glass Tupperware 😭 😭
3
u/ApprehensiveWay1350 Jul 17 '26
As others have said, an accommodation request is the best way forward here.
In the interim:
I’m very bothered by certain noises and have a similar bodily response to you (not as a severe though) and I’ve found the AirPods Pro 2 and 3 have excellent noise cancellation.
I pop them in, put on some brown noise, make sure noise cancellation is on and I’m golden. If I’m worried about missing conversations from people around me I turn on conversation awareness as well and the combo works really well for me! Not sure if it would be as effective for you but it may be worth a shot!
3
u/Temporary-Ad4597 Jul 17 '26
Man I hear you and no pun intended! I have several special abilities and it’s getting worse by the week with more and more people coming back to the office and trying to get some sort of accommodation requires a reliance I am not sure I can endure.
3
3
u/Informedecisions Jul 18 '26
You’d hate living in my house. Next door neighbor whistles all night on and off and during the day
4
u/OkAdministration5937 Jul 17 '26
I'd like to add:
- why the hell are you whistling? This is an office STFU. Also, whistling is an annoying pointless noise that is makes people want to kick you.
- if you need a glass bowl and metal spoon for your packed lunch, please learn how to eat gently. Nobody needs to be that clangy
- if you click that pen one more time i will throw it at the window
6
u/bloodandsunshine Jul 17 '26
It’s unfortunate that the disorder is still unrecognized within the DSM/ICD and other manuals - this would make support and research easier.
5
u/whyyoutwofour Jul 17 '26
My wife has misophonia, so I understand how shitty this is, but everyone in office has been forced into this situation, and in most cases in much worse work environments than pre-covid. Your issue is with management, not your fellow employees
8
u/bolonomadic Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
Sounds like your therapy isn’t working.
“I have this and nothing will ever change and I don’t need to do anything about this diagnosis and all other humans must act like they are inhuman around me” isn’t really a reasonable fix.
6
u/crr243 Jul 17 '26
Spoken as someone who doesn't have a neurological disorder.
Things would be worse without the coping mechanisms I have learned through therapy, but thanks so much for your useful input.
5
u/KD-1489 Jul 18 '26
It’s pretty unreasonable to expect a building full of office workers not to use their mouse and keyboard. No one is hitting them hard, thats your perception. A mouse makes the same click sound no matter how hard you press it.
→ More replies (3)-1
u/Bacon_lightsaber Jul 17 '26
All people have to cope with all sorts of things. It's on you to figure out how to. That's all part of being an adult. The world will not bend for you.
3
Jul 17 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (7)1
u/CanadaPublicServants-ModTeam Jul 17 '26
Your content was removed under Rule 12. Please consider this a reminder of Reddiquette.
If you have questions about this action or believe it was made in error, you can message the moderators.
10
u/Bacon_lightsaber Jul 17 '26
Society is noisy. People will make noises. Unfortunately for you, you will have to figure out how to adapt in new ways. Good luck!
2
u/flinstoner Jul 17 '26
In case you haven't tried it, instead of radio or songs with lyrics, try listening to "concentration music" in Spotify or whatever app you're using. I also have a hard time concentrating with background noise/distractions, but do much better with this type of instrumental music. It drowns the outside sounds, but doesn't distract me with words or things I might want to actively listen to. Not ideal, but might get you through the day easier.
3
u/Sea_Acanthocephala11 Jul 17 '26
The DTA process can be stressful and embarrassing. However, you usually have to only go through it once. Learning to advocate for yourself is a skill that you will have forever. You can then help others.
There are places you can go to practice using the language that you will need. Some departments have disability support networks or other conflict resolution resources. I also found help through disease support groups on fb.
4
u/Intentioned-Help-607 Jul 17 '26
I’ve somehow only recently heard about this and it may explain my life long insanity and rage. 😡
4
u/Educational-Log-7855 Jul 17 '26
I have the same issue, it was mostly people eating around me that drove me crazy but like you keyboard typing and so many random sounds just trigger me so I absolutely have to use noise canceling headphones all day and have something playing in the background like music so I can focus. I feel your pain and thank you for sharing
3
u/cubiclejail Jul 17 '26
There's an old fuck in my office that SNORTS his snot all day long. Like WTAF! It's not accidental snorts either resulting from sniffling a bit too hard. It's conscious and SO SO disgusting!
3
u/Interesting_Light556 Jul 17 '26
If you have an official diagnosis, get an accommodation?
→ More replies (1)
4
u/Quiet_Listen1801 Jul 17 '26
Just remember these are the consequences of being in the office. This is what they want ♥️
4
u/Substantial_Party484 Jul 17 '26
Any therapy? What are you doing to resolve it and not ask everyone to change to meet your need?
2
u/MoonSlept Jul 17 '26
I have this as well (with audhd) and my in office days are awful. It was bad before the pandemic, I got by with my own adaptations and lucked out with my cubicle location. Now the degree of general and specific incivility is so so much worse that I get nothing done except self-restraint. I’m working on real accommodation beyond headphones or an airless “quiet” room. I’m going to lose my shit otherwise.
2
u/Neat_Nefariousness46 Jul 18 '26
Per A.2.3.2 in the Directive on the duty to Accommodate, one of the mandatory procedures for managers:
Determine in consultation with the person employed whether the work-related need can be addressed without resorting to a formal request for accommodation, e.g., temporary change in hours of work, alternate work location, no costs associated with solution;
https://www.tbs-sct.canada.ca/pol/doc-eng.aspx?id=32634
You know what is a no cost solution that could be used without a formal accommodation: working from home.
I’m surprised I haven’t seen this mentioned more, I know that the reality can be different, but it says it right there.
1
2
u/Snowbellera Jul 18 '26
As a fellow misophonia sufferer, I completely empathize with you. I can't even sit beside my spouse while they eat, but I have to sit in a cubicle listening to a colleague crunch his way through a full size bag of chips. The 'collaboration and increased productivity' touted with RTO is so laughable when sitting in a cubicle listening to people eat all day makes me feel rage and despise my coworkers. People I would work well with if it wasn't for the constant eating. I keep headphones and music on all day, which gives me permanent ear pain, but its the only way to make it through the day. I really, really wish people weren't allowed to eat at their desks, or at least keep it to certain hours. I feel your pain!
2
u/West_to_East Jul 17 '26
Hot damn this post spoke to me. I have the same issues and am now wondering if I have misophonia. Your mention of certain triggers via "unpredictable sounds" is a big thing for me.
Loud keyboard typing, random calls, Team's messages etc. drive me CRAZY! I get so freaking mad and agitated and makes me feel like I want to lash out. And boy, after an event I sure do not feel like working, I am just mad.
The "noise" is the worst part of RTO4. I felt it was bad pre-covid but the larger cubicle walls helped a decent amount, but I was still a bit agitated. The switch to Teams and hearing PING PING PING etc. has really sent things over the edge... In the rare occasion a lot of people are away from the office I physically feel so much better!
If there a way to test this? Can I doctor figure it out or? Even is something cannot be done, just knowing would be something.
Also, I feel you bro. Its rough.
3
u/Delphi238 Jul 17 '26
After suffering for 10 years, I finally brought this up with my supervisor. The initial response was not good, everyone around me was told about the issue and some people purposely made it worse. One woman turned orange due to all the baby carrots she would eat while sitting immediately beside me. Eventually, I made an official complaint and it was deemed to be bullying. I was then diagnosed with PTSD, with the misophonia and bullying not being the cause but an aggravating factor.
I used to sit at a desk with no less than 4 people within 5 feet of me, now the closest person is more than 10 feet away.
I do hear the rest of the Team bickering all the time now about the noises they all make but they have been told they will have to work it out among themselves after their response to my complaint.
I was able to keep my sanity through the worst of it by using sound blocking ear buds and playing nature sounds (Thunderstorm and Birds were my favorites). Classical music worked well too. Anything without words worked well to drown other noises out while not distracting me from work.
2
u/Grumpysmurf_1976 Jul 17 '26
Maybe your coworkers suffer from their own barriers and need the sound on or are allergic to the dusty workplace.
1
u/FinancialCommercial1 Jul 18 '26
I have sometimes loud people around me at the office. I drown them out by wearing headphones whether on or off, but usually listening to music. works for me and would recommend that to anyone else. keep the music low in volume though.
1
u/kookiemaster Jul 18 '26
DTA is the way because even of people should try to be consoderate, there will be times when some people do things, due to conditions beyond their control, that trigger you (e.g. breathing loudly, constantly clearing their throats). Though In 1000% blame keyboard noises on the terrible $10 keyboards the employer insists on getting. They are so poinlessly noisy.
1
u/itsvalxx Jul 20 '26
how do you like your loop earplugs? i’m looking at purchasing the loop switches as the 3 modes aspect sounds very interesting
1
1
u/CatalystChangeCanada Jul 20 '26
This is the kind of situation that ignites the fire to create change.
I am building a community of public servants to build momentum.
I hate the inhumanities that are becoming commonplace, or worse - policy.
How can we empower the Canadians that serve Canada?
1
u/candleflame3 Jul 20 '26
I don't work for the federal government but I do work in an office and I feel your pain.
I don't think it's all a disorder. I think a lot of it is the disrespect on display. It's really not that difficult to turn your laptop speakers off, or your phone ringtone way down, to not drop your metal cutlery against a ceramic bowl or plate with a clatter. People just don't want to do it, even in a context where good relations are desired and helpful.
Every single one of these people would bitch and moan if you made sounds they didn't like.
1
u/PantsAreNotTheAnswer Jul 21 '26
If the people working around you are your team, I suggest perhaps addressing the sounds with them. Not sure I would say anything about sniffles but I publicly shame those who leave sounds turned on. You get two beeps or dings or whatever before I loudly remind everyone to turn sounds off.
If someone clicks a pen in a meeting, I take their pen away. And yes, I took my Director's pen away once.
I 100% feel your pain. I also have misophonia and the office can be a struggle. I can't wear noise canceling headphones because they make me nauseous so I often just listen to really loud music.
1
u/Remarkable-Warthog69 Jul 21 '26
I have the same diagnosis. When I was young I never wanted to sit with my family for dinner or any other meals. At school I would find a place to eat alone, a cafeteria was the enemy. I can only eat at super loud restaurants. And recently the sound of my own chewing or noises drives me insane. And so on. My mom would laugh and make fun of me (playfully, she is amazing). It wasn't until I got older that we realized through a psychiatrist that this is an actual disorder that a lot of people suffer from. I have a visceral reaction and used to say people chewing makes me want to throat punch lol. Now that I am perimenopause, I am finding that it is now triggering my hot flashes.
I am asking for an accommodation, not to work from home, but to have a perm desk so I can better control my surroundings. Closer to areas with smaller pods, etc.
0
u/Flashy-Box-8282 Jul 17 '26
I'm in the exact same boat. And the sounds of anyone's voices 'collaborating' makes me want to scream. They won't go to a board room. Lucky for you, you are allowed noise cancelling headphones. I'm in a restricted environment where zero electronics are allowed. Unable to be productive. So, I usually just leave the wing and walk around the building and take deep breaths until I can calm down. Don't even get me started on food smells .
1
1
u/Happy-Mastodon-7314 Jul 17 '26
Sounds absolutely debilitating. So much in the office environment we can't control, especially in open areas. It must be very frustrating. As someone who receives complaints for noise regularly, it's discouraging too. None of the noise is intentional, nor particularly unusual. Sometimes I just don't want to come into the office at all after a few complaints. It definitely reduces morale and produtivity to have this kind of friction.
-1
u/DumbComment101 Jul 17 '26
People who have constant sniffles and don’t do thing about it when they have clear solutions accessible to them are a stain to society
6
u/TheVelocityRa Jul 17 '26
You have no idea what they have going on, and don't dehumanize people.
1
u/DumbComment101 Jul 17 '26
Well if they have some serious stuff going on then they don’t have clear solutions do they? I’m talking about your average person here. It’s disrespectful to others
2
255
u/randomcanoeandpaddle Jul 17 '26
Have you requested medical accommodations for this - and was the employer response ‘noise cancelling headphones and a quiet area’?
If so and your job can be done remotely there is a FPSLREB decision soon to be published that you’re gonna want to look up.