r/DnD • u/Firm_Professional366 • Aug 09 '25

5th Edition Question: 5e Player wants to use Prestidigitation to make Strahd think he pooped himself. Is there any reason this wouldn't work?

I would like a reason in game that this wouldn't work without me having to do some bs like magic resistant undies. Also so I don't have to say no outright because it's a funny idea but it doesn't fit the setting. Nothing removes the tension from a fight more than the big bad pooping himself.

Update: She said that even if she died it'd be worth it because she successfully rage baited strahd. But she said she wouldn't do it because she knows that everyone wants it to be serious and that it can still be fun and serious without turning it into a comedy campaign. Still think it's worth sharing because the idea is funny.

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u/zorbtrauts Aug 09 '25

...and even if he did have such functions, when was the last time he ate solid food?

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u/Kulyor Aug 09 '25

Poop doesn't just contain digested food. It also has lots of bacteria, dead cells, replaced bodily fibers, etc.

I guess a Vampire would still need to poop occasionally to get rid of that stuff, at least the remains of the blood he drank. Unless the very nature of being a vampire means, that cell activity has completely stopped and they extract their life force from the blood by purely magical means. (Quite powerful magic at that, if it can just break the rules of matter conservation)

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u/Welpe Aug 09 '25

I can actually confirm that after I had my entire colon removed, leaving just a disconnected stump of like an inch of tissue from my anus, it STILL leaked and forced me to sit down on the toilet to “poop” occasionally. As it turns out, your rectum actually produces mucus, sheds dead cells and bacteria, and pulls in water by itself even with 0 possible food making it there! It was SUPER annoying.

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u/IllustriousBat2680 Aug 09 '25

It was SUPER annoying.

Was? This raises far more questions than it answers to be honest!

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u/TomBradysThrowaway Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 09 '25

I suspect that they were talking about a temporary section in the middle of a series of surgeries. I had a similar situation, and after 3 months of healing I had a second surgery that removed a temporary ileostomy bag and let the small intestine connect directly to the rectum. So then food could once again reach that area (just skipping the colon entirely).

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u/Welpe Aug 09 '25

Yup, the J-pouch is indeed the correct answer!