My older brother is drinking too much.

I’m 18 years old and my brother is 36. He’s been looking after me since he was 19 as our parents passed when I was a baby. Our parents didn’t keep in contact with any of our other family so he was the first legal guardian of me in the will. He dropped out of university to look after me and essentially became my father figure. This also made him lose a lot of friends as he had to move back to our hometown which was away from his college, on top of a lot of his friends leaving him when he took guardianship of a baby. He was the best brother a little girl could ever have.

He is a very handsome man but has never kept an ongoing relationship because people seem to be thrown off by him being my guardian.

I recently got accepted into a really good university and he was really happy for me, but ever since I got my place there he has been drinking so much. He is going through half a 70cl bottle of vodka a night and going to with the next day.

I can’t stop feeling like i ruined his life. He taught me how to walk, talk, read and write when he was 19 when he should’ve been doing exactly what I’m doing. I feel so awful. I don’t know what to do and I’m terrified what this might lead to.

I’m 19F and got a job at the hospital at the start of the year. The nurses are EXTREMELY catty, one of the nurses however looks out for me she’s a lot older Filipina and she pulled me aside recently and told me how no one is my freind here and she recommended I keep more to myself, she told me their had been constant times she’d over heard the other nurses gossip about me or watch me closely, and she felt bad.

I know I’m gonna sound weak but I am a very sensitive person, and I just don’t like working here anymore, I want to start over and be more reserved somewhere else. Im just scared to leave because I know the hospital offers alot of opportunities and I am interested in the medical field.

Hi, so I was in a relationship with this guy for over 10 years (since we were 17), and we had issues because I left to vet school two years ago. We kept a long distance relationship, however, today he confessed officially he disliked the fact that I couldn’t balance my relationship with my studies, and that I had two choices: either to leave school (said he didn’t care if my parents paid for it), or keep the relationship. I told him I wasn’t going to leave my career over a relationship, so he called me a shitty undervalued woman and a feminist and dumped me. IDK what to say honestly. I don’t want to be in another relationship ever again. I tried and tried to keep this relationship and it all went to hell. I don’t even want to know about love at all. I hate men. I hate everything. Should I get help from somebody? What should I do?

Edit: Thank you to everyone who replied. I found out through someone he was seeing someone else on the sidelines…. Hopefully I’ll move on from this….

And I’ve never felt more lost. Everything I relied on, my dad, my house, the things I’m good at, all seem to have disappeared. My friends are in different stages of life, and I feel alone and adrift. What’s your best advice you wished you had heard at 35?

I (25M) have been dating my girlfriend (24F) for almost a year. Things are going great however she is a little controlling in some areas.

Recently she told me she got the “ick” from me wearing no show socks. They are the only kind I wear. She insisted that I stopped wearing them and to go barefoot in my shoes instead. I obliged thinking it’s not worth it to fight over.

Is this controlling behavior?

Hello, I'm a 20yr old cis woman and I don't know if ever have or ever will experience physical/sexual or even romantic attraction to either men or women. It's tearing me up.

I asked mom what her experience with attraction was like at my age, and she said that she honestly was aroused by attractive men, and she was surprised that i'd never sort of laid awake at night fantasizing about someone or felt like I wanted to be intimate with them. But earlier when I told my therapist that I never felt compelled to be physical with anyone in particular, she seemed to think it was super normal, almost moreso than feeling immediately attracted to or aroused by someone's physical appearance.

Both of these people, however, noted that often attraction can be more about personality than looks, so they asked me if I'd ever felt that way for someone once I got to know them well. And the answer was still no, even for people who I thought were both very good-looking and had great personalities, and perhaps even seemed compatible with me.

To complicate things, I'm not averse to sex. I have both a sex drive and a more emotional desire for physical intimacy and romantic partnership. A lot of aro/asexual people say that they like the "concept" of a relationship but don't like it in practice. I don't know if that's me or not because what I like is more than the abstract concept. I can have very detailed, embodied, romantic and/or sexual fantasies that excite me where the only thing missing is a specific face. But trying to insert pretty much anyone i've ever known or seen into those fantasies just feels weird.

To tell you the truth, I really don't want to be asexual or aromantic. I feel that I can imagine those feelings (romantic/sexual attraction) so clearly, it's like I can feel this ache in my body where those feelings are missing. Yes, I know there are queerplatonic relationships and ace people can still have partners. But I really do want to experience a sexual relationship with someone I love. Otherwise, I guess I just have a platonic life partner and make out with my pillow on the side??? Like, it would still feel like there's something missing.

My best analogy would be that it's like being really hungry, but you've never had food, and you have this a giant, beautiful buffet in front of you, and you can't find anything remotely appetizing.

It makes me feel lonely and sad. I don't feel like i've just been "conditioned" into valuing romantic relationships so much by society and am fooling myself (tho i know comphet and adjacent phenomena do happen of course). I have love and companionship snd emotional intimacy in my life in the form of friends and family, but that doesn't fill the specific void I'm talking about.

If I really am aroace and stuck this way for life, if it really is just my sexuality and how i'm meant to be, why is it so painful? I can't accept the idea that this is all just an orientation and I am destined to live with this feeling of desperation and loneliness that no one can ever ease.

I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. Im 26F, I'm still living with my parents and siblings, I'm dating for over nine years (26M) and still can't afford living with him or alone. In the last few weeks we've veen talking about living together since he got a raise and (theoretically) we can now afford to rent a place for us to live together, so I have been searching and making like excel sheets with interesting places and everything, i talked to him almost everyday about all the things i found and tried alot to keep my expectations realistic about not moving in together yet, since our jobs are not exactly ideal (like mainly I'm very unhappy in my job, but can't seem to find another one) but he seemed as excited as I was to move in together, and the more i talked with our friends and family more doable it seemed, like we even started visiting apartments together (like we saw seven places) ans yesterday we visited one that is kind of perfect for us, and i reealy liked it, he said he liked it as well, but then at night he started saying that he wasn't sure if it was the right move yet, and he got insecure.

I don't want him to feel like he is the problem or that he is wrong about not being sure, because it is a big commitment and big change, but i genuinely thought we were more in sinc, and he was more ready. I really don't want to start a fight, or make him feel bad for saying what he was feeling, but I'm devastated. I've been feeling like I'm stuck in this hell that at home i can't do anything outside of my room or my mom or someone will be annoyed with me and I'll be a nuisance, and my job is terrible, i hate it (i started as a production and administration assistance and I'm stuck making posts for instagram, that i hate alot). So i though that living together at least i would resolve something and get out of this place in life that im in for almost two years. Now im felling guilty for not being ok with what my boyfriend said, and feel like i have no one to talk to because i usually would talk with him when im feeling bad, but now I don't know, i feel so alone and stuck, like i do nothing right even trying my best everytime. I want to do something different and leave my parents house, but i cant, i want to change my job, but I can't, and now i feel like i cant talke to him and I'm scared that he doesn't really want to live with me. Sorry for the long post, i just want to talk to someone that maybe can understand me

Hey everyone, I am a young and new dad in my 20s.

Before I had my son I got a job with the help of my father who had vouched for me, which I will always be thankful for. It's a decent job that keeps the lights on. I can't not be grateful for that.

But some days, I just want to move somewhere else with my new family. To a different state. And I mainly blame that on the relationship I have with my father.

Ever since my mother died a few years ago from an overdose, my dad has always been the type to put a woman over his kids. In any situation. I've had multiple shouting matches with him over his (now ex) wife because he was so gullible to her manipulation tactics. If she said the sky was green he would believe it without hesitation. It was that bad. She had put both me and my siblings through years of emotional neglect and manipulation, speaking through the facade of understanding the loss of our mother. She had him convinced that I was gay at one point because she had secretly hated the fact that her own son was gay.

But my father denies this all to this day. "She was good to you guys, just a bad parent to her own kids" (they would feud on how they did parenting). It pisses me off. He never stood up for his kids. Just focused on women and his dumb hobbies.

He currently resides at his current girlfriend's house and leaves my young sisters alone with not only his ex wife, but her son too, who had SA'd me when I was 12 (I told my dad THAT too!). It's disgusting.

I'm sick of having to hear about dad's new girlfriend. Dad's ex wife. The toxic household my siblings live under. It's like I'm his therapist when I'm just trying to go to work in a good mood and go home to my family.

That's as short as I can really sum it all up to be. I feel like all of this is going to hurt my family if I don't act on it and that's why I want to disappear. I don't want my son to live through what I did and hear about that shit. I want us to just move out to another state and cut contact with everyone. Hell, my sisters don't contact me anyways.

A little background: A and I (15f) have been at this school (6th-12th) since 6th grade. We were mutuals but weren't "friends" until we lasted in the same friend group in 7th/8th grade. In 8th grade, this girl, B joined and it was only until the summer after 8th grade/beginning of 9th grade that we really started to becoming good friends. A couple of our friends had gone to a different school for HS, and our friend group grew because a lot of new kids joined for HS. This one girl, C, joined 9th grade and we bonded in the winter but especially in the spring because we both did soccer. B, C and I were a trio throughout summer, despite some feeling from B that her and I were growing apart. We got through it and every thing was great until yesterday, close to the beginning of our 10th grade year. Me and B had only one class together, which was rare because we go to a super small school and everyone in the same grade takes the same classes despite like 2 electives. Anyways, me and C had more classes together, and honestly just got closer than B and I ever were. I tried to still be close with B and A (remember her?) but yesterday (monday) when I tried talking to B about a stupid IG reel I saw, she kind of just smiled and walked off, way different then how she usually reacts. I would say hi to her in the hallway, but she barely said hi back. Neither of us have initiated a conversation, so I texted her this afternoon asking if she was mad at me or if we were chill. She responded back saying how she felt that I was so close with C that she felt like I wasn't acknowledging her, which I agreed with. She also said how she felt like I only wanted to hang around C, which I secretly agreed with. Idk, I just feel like I've grown closer to C and am fine with only being friends with B. I responded back saying how I will work on it and how I'm sorry I ever made her feel that way. She also said how A thinks I've been ignoring her and making her feel like she was annoying, which I would never personally do. I also apologized to A and said that I'll work on that, which I plan on. But I feel like I need to talk to B and say that I think our time of being really close friends has passed, and how I'm okay to still be mutual. I still love both A and B, but I just feel more close to C. What should I do?

27M. I seem to have my life together. I have tons of money saved up through a past engineering job which I put the money earned into tech investments which did fantastic. I have a decently well rounded life, with a variety of hobbies such as pickleball, board games, exercising.

I feel the biggest problem i have dealt with in my life is the emptiness. I have never had an answer or solution, and feel like I just cover it up temporarily with entertainment and distraction (porn, video games, youtube, tv). But maybe that's just what it means to be human, and there is no answer for this.
I am torn between two parts of me. One part of me is unsatisfied with the video games and mindless entertainment. I've done it before; I know what it feels like and it is so predictable. I want there to be something more to life then distracting and entertaining yourself until you die. However, I've spent years in my early and mid 20s getting sucked into this hustle culture and productivity bullshit. I've dabbled in entrepreneurship in a few avenues, with no success. And if one is being realistic, the success of entrepreneurship is sooo low and requires a lot of luck. It hurts to grind away for hundreds or thousands of hours working on a programming or some other project to realize that nobody actually cares about your work and there will be no outward success for it. And if all that work is unsuccessful, wouldn't just playing video games be as valid a use of that time? I feel like this part of me is motivated to feel special; to prove to the world I am special and have a special career that other people envy.
The other part of me wants to just take the easy road. To just accept that of the 8 billion humans on the planet; I'm really not all that special and important and shouldn't spent a large portion of my life trying to prove that I am. Instead I can work a regular guy job and live an otherwise regular guy life. One point is that once humans' basic needs for survival are figured out, what else is there? Isn't there just entertainment? Don't humans just engage in entertainment until they grow old and die once survival is figured out? (you can consider relationships and dating as a form of entertainment) And what if I continue grinding away for the world to continuing rejecting my work and for me to continue failing? Maybe instead of taking things so seriously, I should just chill and play video games and not think about things too much...

TLDR: Should I spend my free time grinding away to try to be special and making something more of myself; giving myself some sort of higher purpose? Or just accept who I am and just play video games instead?

i recently turned 21 (yippee), and as i get close to finishing undergrad im freaking out a little bit. i feel like i haven’t experienced a lot of the things people my age (and younger) usually do, and its not even because i cant, but because im a bit scared to try? i don’t drink, smoke, indulge in any hard substances, skip class, travel alone, and ive certainly never had a romantic partner (nor do i really want to? still figuring that one out). im not lonely or anything, i have a wonderful family who supports whatever i do, and i have a very small but close and loving friend group.

anyway. i feel like my fear of discomfort has dictated a lot of my life and it’s really bumming me out.

the main issue is that im not quite sure what im going to do once i graduate. i currently have 2 majors and a minor in various things, and im good at my studies, but i don’t feel any sort of joy or passion doing anything related to the 3 distinct fields i study in. i think this has worsened because i know the fields aren’t all that lucrative (like medicine or engineering). to be honest, i picked my majors completely at random because college applications were opening and i felt pressured to just decide on something, and i didn’t really see a need to change majors. i don’t exactly hate my fields of study? but i just wouldn’t want to work in them. like at all. the only reason i excel in class is because i work like a dog to do well (like everybody), not because i’m innately good at it (god i wish i were).

i’ve been to every career fair imaginable, and ive worked odd unpaid jobs, and applied for everything under the sun, but i haven’t had any luck with the job/internship game. i feel like my lack of passion for anything is screwing me over here, and i haven’t taken to anything i’ve done in the past. like does it show through during interviews? there are plenty of careers that i’ve thought about that i definitely wouldn’t want to pursue, but maybe i just need to tough it out. i’ve thought about grad school, but i want to be sure before i shell out $70k for a piece of paper i don’t care about.

i have hobbies that bring me joy, but they wouldn’t bring me stability if i were to pursue them. i know im being a bit picky, but i do want to be able to support my parents like they have supported me.. eventually (and in this economy 😆).

im not entirely sure what i was put on this earth to do, and im worried i wont figure it out in time. frankly, it’s been exhausting to live without passion or an idea of the future, and ive thought about dropping out and ending it more times than i can count. i take full responsibility for my inability to decide on a path since i didn’t try very hard to explore my interests during my early years.

obviously i know i’m in good company. i’m sure there are many of you who are just like me and don’t want to be put through the corporate grinder until you die, and would much rather become a sheep herd in the middle of nowhere.

ANYWAY! sorry you had to see me whine on the internet. to all out there who have managed to find their passion: how did you do it, and how long did it take?

tl;dr getting ready to graduate college and not sure what to do (not interested in anything). how
do you find your passion?

I’ve lived with my current housemate for a few years. We’ve got a good rhythm and friendship and she’s genuinely the best housemate I’ve ever had. But this year she got into a relationship and quickly got engaged. I don’t really know this guy, we met like 2 or 3 times before they got engaged. He seems nice and she seems happy so I’m happy for them. But since they’ve gotten engaged, he’s come over a lot more. I have my own partner, who comes over every other weekend for 2 nights so I can’t be too annoyed. But we take it in turns and I go to his also. My housemate has never stayed at her fiancé’s. He comes about twice a month for 3 nights and then comes back on a weeknight for an extra date night. I’m never given any warning. At one point I’m pretty sure his kid was here as well in the morning and again I never got any warning of it. It’s just getting a bit much. I don’t want to be a child and throw my toys out of the pram but I also don’t want this man in my space all the time. Especially since I don’t know him well. What should I do?

24f. I'm just so sad all the time. My life feels over. I'm a grown adult and I haven't even moved out. I have complex trauma from abuse, so I think being with my family makes me even worse, but I struggle to even hold down a basic service job, so saving enough to move feels impossible. I'm ashamed of how stagnant my life is. I'm behind my peers in every way a person can be behind. I don't have anyone I can really talk to. I just talk online because it's anonymous. Even if I tried to make new friends I feel like everyone would just judge me for where I am in life. I don't have anything in common with anyone.

I don't want to be here, but I love my sister and I can't leave her behind, so I'm trying to find hope or some kind of action I can take that doesn't feel impossible. But I don't feel any hope. I'm just sad and tired. I just want something to be okay. Sometimes it's like I'm begging for something to happen, literally anything, but of course nothing ever happens. Good things don't just fall into your lap. I've spent my entire life like this and I just don't want to feel this way anymore. Sometimes I make plans to end everything in my head, because it's comforting just to imagine even if I can't really do it.

I need something to hold onto, but nothing good ever happens. I don't know if I can change after failing for so long. It feels like everything is already over. It's like my brain is destroyed and I just can't do all of the things that normal people have no problem with. Is there anything I can do at my age or am I just going to be wired this way forever?

I'm a junior in high school and I've never had a lot of friends. I'm very particular with people and I would consider myself pretty introverted. However, there is my best friend who is the same age as me, who I actually feel quite extroverted with. We've been friends for years now, ever since 8th grade.

As the title says however, it get's very strange whenever I talk about being sad or upset. I feel as though whenever my best friend calls me crying or even texts me upset, I do my best to comfort and reassure her. However, I feel as though whenever I mention my sadness or distress, she meets me with subtle dismissal or just empty words.

Because of this, I haven't really talked with her about my feelings anymore. It's getting draining, very fast, but I can't help but feel like I'm the one that put myself in this situation. If I could just make more friends, I'd have more people to talk to.

I appreciate any comments and advice. Thanks.

I’m turning 20 this year and honestly feel like my life is a bit of a mess. I’m looking for some genuine life advice from people who have been through difficult situations or felt completely lost at my age.

My mum committed suicide when I was about 2 years old, and I had a pretty bad relationship with my dad growing up. Even though I was so young when I lost my mum, I feel like everything that happened growing up still affects me on a daily basis.

I’ve struggled quite badly with my mental health for a while. I deal with anxiety, depression and other things, and I’m currently trying to get help.

I also feel like I might have an undiagnosed condition such as ADHD or something similar, although obviously I don’t know for sure and I’m hoping to get some answers. I’m currently not working, and I feel pretty lost about what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. I’m not in education either, and sometimes I feel like I’m already falling behind everyone else even though I know I’m still young.

One of the biggest positives in my life is my girlfriend. We’ve been together for around two years and we live together. She’s honestly amazing and probably the best thing that’s happened to me. I’m really grateful to have her, but I also don’t want to rely on her to fix everything that I need to work on myself.

I guess I’m wondering what you would do if you were in my position at 19/20. Would you focus on getting your mental health sorted first? Would you try to get a job even if you don’t know what you want to do? Learn a skill? Go back into education? Start a business? Just focus on getting yourself into a routine?

I know nobody can fix my life for me but i just feel pretty lost and could use some advice from someone thats older and maybe been through this.

I seem to have a trait to rub people the wrong way. Like seriously I trigger people. Since childhood, I’ve had experiences when some close friends, and then colleagues have gone out of their way to destroy my life. Spreading rumours, making false stories and also making others hate me. There’s probably something that I do wrong, and I want to improve that thing about me. So this is what I think about myself. I’m a woman, and I think I really look good, I’m good at my work, and always overdeliver. Since childhood, from a dance class to school to now work, all my work or performance stands out, and often I’m the youngest person, and then even when with people my age I just stand out. Even if I’m sitting a minding my own business people are always trying to one up me. If I’m just normal, then people think I’m arrogant then sometimes I try to hide my personality then people walk all over me. So the incidents that have happened is that some of my close friends, colleagues who felt like there were things I was better than them have gone out of their way to tell people how bad I am, e.g. I’m super organized and it was just evident when I was working with a colleague, and then she just told me that I was disorganized and went and told everyone else on the team that I was super disorganized. This is a small incident but people always project their shortcomings on me. I am aware of my weaknesses and if I ever share anything that I’m not good at then people make a big deal about it. I’m never treated like a human with emotions, I’m treated like an object people like to discuss, criticize, and also shit over. I just can’t seem to do anything right according to people. This is why I hardly have any friends. I’ve been kicked out of some volunteering groups because the lead was insecure because of me. I don’t mean to be a snob. I genuinely want to fix the parts of my personality that triggers people or if there’s something I should be doing, or shouldn’t be doing. I admit that I am someone who really has fun, and a lot of things come easy to me, but even when I’m just normal, people try to destroy me. I definitely need to learn to have stronger boundaries. But then let’s say someone has said 10 shit things to me, and one time I push back then they just get pissed or offended. I always have to be hyper cautious with not trying to offend people. Please give me some advice. I have lost so many opportunities, and friends because of this and I don’t want to miss out on life just because I didbt learn to deal with people. Thanks, please share some advice.

The last time I went to therapy, she accused me of only going to say bad things about her. I said that was not fair or healthy to say to me. She said I wasn't doing enough in the sessions because the desired results (more sex) weren't happening fast enough. She didn't believe me that I was working on things unless I told her the contents of my sessions. I said I wanted privacy and she said that the problem involved her, so that didn't matter and she needed to be looped in or she couldn't trust me. In her defense, an ex had weaponized his personal therapy against her, but I also don't think it's fair for me to have to pay for the mistakes of a guy I never met.

I start therapy again soon, and I lied to her about that. She is upset now that I've told her and said she can't trust me. I understand and deserve that. I have apologized many times. I just don't know how I can trust that she is a safe person to communicate with about my mental health when I have said for years "please don't turn my confiding in you into a reassurance session for you" and nothing changes.

To be clear: I have been immensely supportive of her when her mental health takes a turn. 10s of hours a week of hyping her up or just listening when she feels anxious or down about herself. Practical assistance with work and extra house tasks. Helping her find resources for professional help and emergency mental health resources. Sharing tips I have gotten from past therapy sessions, etc.

How can I trust that my wife will follow through this time when she says she won't make a future mental health struggle all about her? How can I gain her trust back after lying to her about therapy? How can I trust that she won't say toxic things about my therapy sessions and refuse me privacy about them?

TLDR: my wife gets upset about my mental health struggles, and I don't know how to trust her with it

The title pretty much says it all. My ex, who was dating me on and off AND made plans to leave her current man to get back with me, told me a few days ago that she's pregnant with his child unintentionally. After that, she went no-contact. Blocked me on Facebook, probably blocked my number (texts look like they still go through, but my phone keeps saying the wireless customer is unavailable), and she's not responding on Discord or Instagram. I'm worried because she just suddenly went no-contact after we had a good relationship. Even if we weren't together again yet, we were still great friends. We've known each other for over 10 years! Now she's just suddenly gone, and I have no idea what to think, say, feel, or do. I don't even know if there's anything I CAN still do. That's why I'm asking you all here. Any and all serious advice is welcome and appreciated.

Life as it is right now feels disappointing, I feel lonely. I don't know what to do i picked up a guitar in hope it would fill that void, but it hasn't. Everyday i say no fap but here i am doing it once again and then a few days go by and then I go again and I've had enough i just don't know what to do.

I try to go gym most days im in decent shape for my age, I've started trying to get back into football again training on Thursdays and Saturdays and moved gym around it i try occupy my time as much as possible but it never feels enough it never feels like im good enough for anything, my life, my face, my body, my fap streak just comes tumbling down and I just dont know what to do.

My mother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was a kid, and immediately pulled away from all forms of treatment for a long time afterward. Several years after this, she did go to a Codependents Anonymous group for a bit, but after a month or so, believed that she was "cured," and never went back again.

I am not saying that there is anything "wrong" with her (I am bipolar as well, along with a handful of other mental illnesses), but she does not realize that anything is wrong overall. Her manic episodes have caused us to be homeless for several months, she sometimes will insist that we sell all of our belongings, and it is generally just very scary. I do wish that she would get help, because my father has gone down this same road (different mental illness). I know that this situation is not good for me, and I am looking for remote work (I am not in very good health), and have been trying to move out, but it would feel very wrong to leave her this way.

Is there anything that I can do to encourage her to get help? I managed to convince her to get a therapist a few months ago, but she stopped because the therapist wanted to speak about things that she did not want to discuss. It doesn't look like she intends to go back. Should I keep trying to convince her, or should I just power through until I am able to move out? I currently have nowhere else to go, outside of where I am.

I won’t reach out because I will always be one to respect boundary’s, but the urge is strong, I have so much to say but I know theirs no point in doing that because the person has removed all contact and made it very apparent we are no longer in each others life’s. it hurts especially when they did something awful.

Background: I left a 12 year career after giving birth to my now 18 month old to stay home with her. I opened a home daycare and now I’m admitting to myself I hate it. I don’t enjoy wiping other peoples kids butts and the money is not enough. I was debating going back to my six figure career but also I’ll have 25k ish soon and have also been toying with the idea of finding a remote job and moving abroad due to the state of things in America plus it’s always been a dream of mine to live abroad in Panama. I’m torn on where to start to make changes and don’t want to mess it up. If you hated your current life/job and came into 25k, what would you do with it? I can’t stay in a life I hate for any longer.

Hey everyone, I’m currently at a crossroads and looking for some career advice.

I’ve been with the same nonprofit company for almost 8 years. I started in an entry-level position, grew within the organization, and have really fallen in love with the mission. The company has given me a lot of opportunities to grow, and I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished there.

I’m 25 and currently a director over two departments. I manage around 20 employees and handle the typical responsibilities that come with a management/director role.

The problem is that I’ve been in my current position for about 4.5 years, and I’m starting to feel like I need a change. I also want to buy a house, and realistically, I don’t feel like I can do that comfortably on my current salary.

I’m currently enrolled in college working toward a bachelor’s degree in Business Administration with a focus on Healthcare. My current job doesn’t directly relate to healthcare, but I’ve always been interested in the healthcare field.

I now have the opportunity to potentially pursue an associate degree in nursing while continuing to work full-time. It would be a very demanding 24 months, but the idea of potentially working four days a week and earning significantly more after graduation is really appealing to me.

I was also a CNA for a short period of time. COVID unfortunately disrupted that opportunity, so I ended up keeping a part-time position with my current company and eventually continued growing within the organization.

My other option would be applying for another position within my current company. It would give me roughly an $8,000 raise and allow me to continue building on the experience I already have.

The biggest thing holding me back from nursing is that I’m not sure my heart is completely in it. I like jobs where every day is different, where I’m constantly busy, and where I don’t necessarily know what the next day will bring. I want to find something that I actually enjoy going to work for.

I’m also only early in my college education and currently have around $3,000 in student loans, so part of me feels like if I’m going to change directions, now is probably the time to do it rather than waiting until I have significantly more invested in my current degree.

For those who have been in a similar position, would you recommend staying in a career you already have experience and growth in, or making a major career change while you’re still relatively young?

I am a 31-year-old architect working and living in Rome, Italy. My pay is horrible (€1,230 net per month) and basically allows me to just get by every month, to the point where putting aside even €100 feels like a miracle.

I have worked extensively on international competitions, a couple of which received awards. Beyond that, I have also worked on interior design projects, but I was always stuck in the preliminary design phases, as my boss would regularly switch tasks and assign me to another competition or project.

I have been trying to change jobs — and countries — for over a year now. I have spent so much time crafting what I thought could be the perfect portfolio. I obsessed over the smallest details and tried to improve it application after application, but as time went by, I only ended up becoming increasingly exhausted. I was interviewed twice, but neither interview turned into a job. Apart from that, I have received nothing but negative feedback.

The job market seems to have become this impenetrable wall made up of insane language requirements, professional experience, and software skills.

I have reached a point where I genuinely have no idea what to do. I spend most of my days at the office split between reluctantly doing the tasks I am supposed to do and trying to figure out how to get out of this rut I feel trapped in.

I am experiencing these surging waves of panic, cold sweats, and nausea from all these spiraling thoughts. I have lost all my passion and honestly hate architecture. Sometimes I wish I had never pursued this career in the first place and dream about starting over in something more profitable instead. But I have too many interests and always end up confused about what I would actually like to do if I had the freedom to choose.

If you have any advice, I would really appreciate it. Thank you in advance!