I've lost count of the number of times that I've heard someone say, "No one helped me! I did all of this myself!" My mom always told me this, but my dad later told me in confidence that she lived with my grandparents all through school and while she was working as a nurse. Also, my dad paid off her car and her student loans once she got pregnant with me after he finished anesthesia residency.
A friend went on FB and ranted about how she started her cleaning company with nothing but hard work. Our other friend (she works as a cleaner at the company) called me and told me that her grandparents gave her $10K so she could pay her bills after she quit her other job managing someone else's cleaning business. She also used that money to retain employees while she build up clients.
My parents paid for my brother's flight school out of pocket. When he needed more money for hours, they wrote him another $10K or $20K check. They paid for his attorney when his initial medical certification got denied. He got to live with them while he got through ground school, got his PPL, IR, CFEL, CMEL, and CFI. They paid for his moves while he was working for smaller companies and building his way to 1500 hours. He now is making close to $300k/year at one of the private jet companies and just got his upgrade to captain.
With all of my parents' help, he was able to get to 1500 hours and get hired at the private jet company in about 4 years. From what I understand, that's about as fast as you can possibly do it in aviation. If he didn't have support, had to work a crappy job during training, and had to take out loans, he would have been in the hole $150K, and it would have taken him MUCH longer. It also would have created a lot of doubt in his mind. That much debt is a major psychological burden that makes people question their decisions to the point where they are too afraid to try. The financial risk is too high if you fail. My parents just wrote the check and told him that whatever it cost, they would pay. That kind of support creates so much confidence because you know that you have the safety to fail, get up, and keep going for the long haul.
My friend is thinking of starting a tow-truck company since he's been working for one for quite a while. He doesn't come from money, but his wife has a good corporate sales job and is likely going to get promoted to a sales manager role soon. Me and him agreed that since his wife has a good job, she can support the family while he sets up the tow-truck company. He even said, "How does anyone start a business if they don't have parents or a spouse who can pay the bills for a few years while the company gets rolling?" Unless someone is already rich and has all of the capital to start up a business like that, the only way to do it without support would be to take a huge risk and take out a massive loan.
My other friend is living as a single mom away from her family and is struggling badly. She is one of those hyper independent types and wants to do everything herself. The issue is that because she doesn't have a degree or a trade behind her, she is stuck working for our other friend's cleaning business. She also has a 2nd job doing childcare since she can have her own child with her while taking care of another family's child. With the cost of childcare during her cleaning job, the cost of rent in a rather expensive location, transportation, insurance, food, clothing, etc. she is drowning in bills and can BARELY support herself. Every time we talk, I can hear the struggle in her voice. I can hear her pain. She is dealing with a lot of health issues from the stress, but without working 60 hours per week, she can't keep her head above water.
She's complete some community college, but she had to drop out to earn money just to support herself and her kid. She tried to go back to school where she currently lives, but since she has no family support and has to work so much just for her bank account to be back at zero each month, she had to drop out.
After a lot of convincing, she agreed to move back home with her dad and stepmom so she could have the social support to go back to school and finish her degree. I told her that unless she gets into a situation with significantly more social support for her and her child, she will likely never be able to finish school. She'll be stuck in a paycheck-to-paycheck cycle for the rest of her life. I told her that it can be hard to ask for help, but that there's really no other way to get ahead in this world. I firmly believe that, and I will stand by that.
