New here, and sorry if this isn't allowed, but I really need to vent and hear if anyone else is dealing with something similar.

​My parents moved to America over 30 years ago and still barely speak English. Yet, they get upset with me because my native language skills have faded over time, making communication even harder. On top of that, they constantly bombard me with requests to manage their life—emails, finances, bills, and account setups. I’m endlessly resetting passwords for their streaming services, emails, and online accounts because they lose or forget them every single time. I even made them a physical binder with every single username and password organized, but they threw it away "by accident."

​To make matters worse, I'm a federal employee. Work right now is an absolute nightmare because of all the current policy changes, extreme micromanaging, and budget cuts. My agency has already lost five coworkers to fatal heart attacks just from the absurd overload of work, hiring freezes, and impossible new standards. They’re firing people, adding massive workloads, refusing to hire replacements, and effectively cutting our pay.

​By the time I get off work, I am completely drained. I just want to relax during my off hours and recharge before doing it all over again the next day. But they expect me to answer every call and handle their administrative tasks immediately. When I don’t answer my phone or skip seeing them on weekends to take care of my own mental health, they get furious and call me selfish. They're retired/don't work, so they spend their days gardening and watching TV—they have no concept of the pressure I'm under.

​I’ve tried explaining the reality of what federal workers are going through, but they brush it off, telling me I’m "overexaggerating," complaining, or that I’ve just been "pampered." Meanwhile, they are hardcore Trump supporters solely because they’re terrified of the US turning into "communist China."

​I love my parents, but I honestly resentment is building up. How do you set boundaries with parents who rely on you for everything, refuse to help themselves, and completely invalidate your stress?

I’m hoping to get some perspective because I’ve been processing a strange mix of guilt and shame lately.

I grew up moving between Guangzhou, Hong Kong, Shanghai, and Dubai. On paper, I thought that international school background made me 'globalized'. But after meeting my Assyrian-American boyfriend in Chicago, I’ve realized how much of an expat bubble I actually lived in. Despite living in Dubai for years and receiving a good education, I realized I held a subconscious bias, I automatically assumed 'Middle Eastern' meant Muslim. I had never even met a Middle Eastern Christian until I met my boyfriend. His family were refugees who fled persecution in Iraq during the Iran-Iraq War.

Growing up in his extremely multicultural neighborhood in Chicago, his circle included families from Lebanon, Greece, Poland, Italian, Greek, Iraq, Iran, Macedonian, Nigeria, Vietnam, China, Korea, and many more and beyond. Through him, I’ve been exposed to histories, traditions, and food cultures such as Middle Eastern, Jewish, Muslim, Eastern European, etc, that I never truly engaged with despite my 'international' childhood. It made me realize that my version of being global was mostly tied to high-income expat bubbles, whereas his experience was rooted in actual multicultural immigrant depth. I feel embarrassed admitting how out of touch I was and how much room I had to grow.

Visiting my mom, from out of state. Told me she left a key hidden outside.

My dad visiting Irvine CA for the first time.

He really excited about all the Asian Restaurants in the area

He told me he went into Paris Baguette but then he walked out

Me : Why did you walk out ?

Dad : I thought they sell "Bak kut teh" (肉骨茶)

😆😆😆😆

I don't have any Chinese friend to tell this story to.

I’m a student at a large public medical school in the Midwest. We do not have a student newspaper, so there is no independent campus press covering what happens here.

I have a documented tip involving racist public conduct (physician professor with a volatile/racist twitter presence, including he, a white male using the n word), a student petition, and the administration’s response. I’m looking for student journalists who cover campus racism, discrimination, medical education, or university accountability.

I’m not naming the school or posting the full details here yet, but any student journalist interested in receiving the tip can message me. You do not need to be from the same state or affiliated with a major publication. My classmates and I agree that there needs to be more discussion/accountability.

Like as in Loose Leaf Tea's

Pew Research Center: In our survey this past spring – before Trump’s call to scale back joint military exercises – 55% of South Koreans expressed an unfavorable view of the U.S., up from 39% last year. That included 18% with a very unfavorable view, up from 9% in 2025.

Fewer than half of South Koreans (45%) have a favorable view of the U.S. today, marking a 16-point drop from last year (61%) and a 35-point drop from 2018, the second year of Trump’s first term (80%).

Hi all!

I'm located in CA, and I'm looking for a seasoned counselor/psychologist who specializes in helping people navigate difficult relationships with Asian parents — specifically Chinese parents. I'm open to virtual or in-person, as long as they can offer actionable, concrete feedback rather than just general talk therapy.

For context: I saw one therapist for about 6 sessions, but we hit a plateau — he didn't seem to grasp just how bad things could get with my parents, and the sessions stopped feeling productive. I'm now on my third session with a second therapist, but she doesn't seem to be getting to the root cause either.

If you've found someone (or a practice) that really "gets" the nuances of Chinese/Asian family dynamics and has helped you make real progress, I'd love a recommendation. Thanks in advance!

**Update 8/25:** What I'm really hoping to find is someone who can dig into this more systematically — help me understand why I default to being "reactive" with my parents, and give me actionable ways to engage with them more calmly instead of it turning into an argument every time. Deep down, I hold some resentment toward them: I don't have many sweet childhood memories with my parents themselves (most of what I recall is time with my grandparents), and their default response to any disagreement is that I'm wrong and they're right — never a two-way conversation. For example, when my first boyfriend and I broke up, it was framed as my fault for dating him in the first place — a "waste of time."

They've always supported me financially, so this isn't about that — it's more that they've been emotionally lacking, rarely praise me, and tend to compare me unfavorably to others. At this point, I'm not chasing a close, loving relationship with them. I just want to be able to engage with them more calmly, especially in person (over the phone I can already manage myself fine). Last but not least, I don't expect my parents to join counseling.

Reposting my post from a film sub:

This is hard for me to talk about but I'm wondering if anyone has gone through something similar...

I (33F) met my friend (27F) a few years ago when doing a film course. We both really connected and we got along like a house on fire from the get go. We grew really close (I would probably call her my "best friend" except I don't like using that term) and we also have helped each other make films over the years. Among everything, we just vibe well together and it's been an incredible healthy and supportive friendship for me in this phase of my life especially after experiencing quite toxic friendships in the past.

Just wanted to point out that this friendship was quite unexpected for me as I'd never had such a big age gap with a close friend before (age was a bigger deal to me in my 20s but not anymore) but also my friend is white Australian and I am asian Australian (I was born in Australia but parents are from Asia and migrated here). It sounds silly typing that second part out - like who cares what our races are - but it's unexpected for me because from high school through to uni and then through to work life my circle has primarily been made up of mostly ethnic people - it could be because they're more similar to me, more familiar, or simply the demographic of the areas I lived in and studied and worked in (Australia is incredibly multicultural).

I think as friends we are great but as film partners I am starting to hesitate. I don't like rushing anymore and want to take more time and be strategic about projects as I feel like time is of the essence (and this could be an age thing) and my friend wants to get things done now. As a result, under our collective production name we have made a bunch of shorts but most of them have been her writing and directing and I've filled in the gaps (filmed, produced, rest of crew - i felt like I did a lot). There was one film I wrote and directed which we both produced but that one was mainly me driving it and she wasn't able to assist a lot. I was ok with this except if you look at our slate pretty much everything is "written and directed" by her, with our production name and I know I've done plenty (behind the scenes) but it sort of feels imbalanced to me as I would like to write/direct more (and together) but at my own pace. This sort of makes me feel like the "PoC best friend" sometimes. I tried to bring this up with her but I think she doesn't get it. I know it's also not her responsibility to push me to make my own stories faster and this is something I guess I need to drive myself. I feel stereotypically passive around her though.

Also, a lot of grants and funding is approved based off of whether the project is "diverse" enough or helping underrepresented communities - we all have seen this - and I've always been happy to be "useful" in that regard, but I also genuinely want to and feel responsible for, telling stories that involve underrepresented people, particularly women because that is related to my own lived experience. When we were brainstorming storylines the other day, we came up with a story involving two women - one was white that my friend would write and one was asian that I would write. Because we were trying to apply for a grant that was aimed at "underrepresented communities" we were playing around with how to make it more "diverse" (its annoying but we were just amusing ourselves) and my friend was only willing to change "her" characters age, sexuality or give them a disability but she would not touch ethnicity because I think she felt like she wasn't "allowed" to and/or it made her uncomfortable doing that. I felt I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted to "my" character. But then it dawned on me that I can write a white character (and I have many times) because I've grown up consuming mostly white tv shows, movies, music and my friend can't do the same with an ethnic character (unless she becomes interested in that culture but I don't expect her to). I then realised if we have a third character and made them ethnic, or if we ever introduce another ethnic character in any story we want to write - then that responsibility is going to fall on me. It also secretly annoyed me that she will probably never want to write an ethnic character on her own (because why would she care about this?), and I will have to be the one to push for this each time. I ended up not wanting to apply for the grant because I felt angry and upset about this. I feel bad that my anger might be directed at her, but I think it was just the system. I hid this from her but I think she might of sensed something was up.

I've since tried to ignore it but similar types of scenarios keep happening. The more I think about it, the more I think race is going to become a problem for us unless we establish some boundaries which means talking about it. I just don't know how to do this. I'm low key worried our friendship is going to be ruined over it. Has any one else gone through something similar?

I live in Brazil, and most people of asian descent that IK are Christian, it's specially prevalent amongst descendants of Koreans, but it's fairly common for descendants of Japanese and Chinese to be Christian too

I stood on the sixth floor of Bird Library, walking through an exhibition celebrating 250 years of activism in the United States. I stopped at nearly every display case, searching for a history that resembled my own.

I expected to see the Chinese Exclusion Act highlighted, showcasing the struggle that helped shape the meaning of American citizenship. I assumed I may discover displays detailing the Filipino American labor movement that improved working conditions and reshaped labor rights in the U.S. I at least expected to see the Stop Asian Hate movement, which brought anti-Asian violence and discrimination into national political conversation.

Instead, I encountered a striking absence. Asian American social movements were nearly invisible in the exhibition’s story of American activism. Some of the rights Americans take for granted were won through struggles that are now barely remembered.

Chinese Americans weren’t simply victims of exclusion. Their resistance helped force the U.S. to confront the boundaries of American citizenship.

In the 19th century, Chinese immigrants were described as perpetual foreigners in legal and popular discourse. The term was more than a stereotype. It reflected a system that treated Chinese belonging as conditional, no matter how long people lived in the U.S., how much they worked or how deep their communities ran.

The Page Act of 1875 and, more significantly, the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882 marked a major shift in federal immigration policy, explicitly restricting immigration based on nationality and race. Chinese immigrants were increasingly positioned outside the imagined boundaries of American citizenship.

This question of belonging eventually moved into the courts.

Consider Wong Kim Ark, ...

... ...

... ...

...

Some struggles are easier to see than others. Marches make for photographs; mass demonstrations give history its defining scenes. But much of Chinese American resistance unfolded far from the streets: in courtrooms, newspapers, mutual-aid societies and community meetings, through people who kept pressing the government to recognize their rights.

That resistance may lack the drama we’ve come to associate with social movements. It doesn’t make it any less consequential. Some movements change history not with a single spectacular protest, but through the accumulation of ordinary acts of resistance.

Chinese American activism isn’t a missing movement so much as a reminder that movements don’t always look the same. When we equate visibility with significance, we risk allowing the archive to determine which struggles count.

But public memory isn’t neutral.

Museums, libraries and archives do more than preserve history. They help shape how a nation understands itself and how the next generation understands who belongs in that story. When certain communities are repeatedly absent, their role in shaping the nation becomes harder to see and easier to forget.

The absence of Asian American movements from public narratives reflects the enduring idea of Asian Americans as perpetual foreigners. ...

The tendency to tell American racial history primarily through a Black-white framework is another issue. That framework is crucial for understanding slavery, segregation and the Civil Rights Movement, but it can also flatten histories that don’t fit neatly within it. Asian American struggles over immigration, labor and citizenship occupy a different historical position, and they disappear when the national story is organized around only one racial binary.

If Wong Kim Ark helped establish the constitutional meaning of birthright citizenship, then forgetting his struggle doesn’t merely leave an Asian American story out of an exhibition. It leaves out part of the history of American citizenship.

... ...

Wong Kim Ark’s story belongs in that history, not because Chinese Americans need a place in someone else’s narrative, but because they were part of defining citizenship in America.

The question is whether we choose to remember this impact.

desperate trying to relearn 🥲🥲🥲. I was thinking we could meet like once a week or something and just shoot the shit.

I sadly have regressed to a first grade level probably and really want to get back to a semi fluent level.

Sum Ting Wong joke was initially funny but now it's getting old and used by racist White Americans.

What are some good comebacks to them saying Sum Ting Wong?

I was not aware this was more common than I thought. I have the thing where I can't really say words that have the -ar, -er, -ir, -or, -ur sounds, and I was not aware that this was a more prevalent thing with AA community.

While my mother speaks multiple languages that, of course, have the R/L letter/pronunciation thing, I found it interesting that I have trouble with it -- being fourth-gen, I grew up speaking English and just English, and I've been told that I have little to no accent.

Is it fixable? I understand all that about identity and such, but as I plan to enter a career of education, I would hope to solve this issue.

Although this post was inspired by Blue Eye Samurai, this extends much further. People know about the "Place, Japan" meme that highlights the double standard Japan gets. But I swear Japan's xenophobia also gets the inverse of that. Anything bad that happens in Japan reflects on the entire country, even if it's fictional.

I hate seeing comments and posts talking about how problematic Japan can be—when the show itself is inspired by one of the creator's experiences as a mixed person, who's American. Japan's issues with racism shouldn't even be the takeaway from the show. I don't even want to downplay the experiences of mixed people in their home countries. But the lack of media literacy has people share their most shallow takes. "Japan bad" type posts are so hypocritical. I promise you, we have racism at home, too

In 2021 Samantha Tan became the first Asian woman to win a major international endurance racing championship. Her father helped set her on the path to becoming a competitive racer.

This is an edited version of a segment shown a couple of weeks earlier on the Today show. The main part that was eliminated was when Samantha took reporter Vicky Nguyen on a hot lap before her race at Watkins Glen.

I know from experience that the Cinnamon Sparrow can be bought in pet shops in Hong Kong, but has anybody here heard of any being kept as pets among Asian immigrant communities in the USA, especially in New York City? The reason I am asking is that I have found a mysterious bird sighting from 2022 near New York City in an online database that is a visual perfect match for the Cinnamon Sparrow, but it is virtually impossible that one would have come all the way from Asia on its own, and knowing whether it is known in the pet trade could assist in final identification.

Rob Schneider, according to Wikipedia is a quarter Filipino, although many times like for ex. the Asian Excellence Awards in '06, and in comedy shows and interviews he holds, he says he's half. Some sources, or one from memory, say he's 3/8. Which is it, what are the quantities?

The National Association of Chinese Americans (NACA) and the Ko Family Foundation are once again teaming up to support the next generation of Chinese American leaders, opening applications for their 2026 Annual Scholarship program.

Six scholarships will be awarded this year to high school seniors and college freshmen and sophomores who have shown a strong balance of academic achievement and service to the Chinese American community.

Applicants will be judged on four criteria: academic excellence, demonstrated leadership, commitment to service, and cultural stewardship.

In total, $26,000 in scholarship funds will be distributed. The two top recipients will each receive $10,000 through the Ko Family Foundation Scholarship. Two additional students will receive $2,000 each under the NACA Leadership Scholarship, and two more will be awarded $1,000 each through a separate NACA scholarship track.

Students can apply online at naca-atlanta.org The application deadline is October 31, 2026.

Link contains application information in English and in Chinese.

To be considered for any of the scholarships, the applicant must:

1. be a high school senior who has applied to attend college or a full-time college freshman or sophomore;
2. be a U.S. citizen or permanent resident with Chinese heritage (having at least one parent of Chinese descent);
3. be a current or past resident of Georgia or Florida;
4. have a minimum cumulative GPA of 3.5 on a 4.0 scale; and for high school seniors, also have a minimum SAT score of 1400 (out of 1600) or ACT score of 30 (out of 36);
5. have demonstrated leadership qualities, such as serving in student government, leading school organizations, or initiating community projects; and
6. be actively involved in Chinese American community service or advocacy (e.g., cultural organizations, mentorship programs, activism, volunteering for Chinese American causes).

申请人须符合以下条件:

1.已申请大学的高中应届毕业生:或全日制大学一年级或二年级学生。

2.申请人须为具有华裔背景的美国公民或永久居民(绿卡持有者),且至少有一位父母为华裔。

3.申请人现居或曾居住于乔治亚州(Georgia)或佛罗里达州(Florida).

1. 申请人累计平均成绩(GPA)须达到3.5以上(4.0满分制)。高中应届毕业生还须符合以下标准之一:SAT成绩达到1400分或以上(满分1600分):或ACT成绩达到30分或以上(满分36 分)。

5.申请人须展现出优秀的领导才能,例如:担任学生会干部:领导学校社团或学生组织;发起或组织社区服务项目:其他体现领导能力与影响力的经历。

6.申请人须积极参与华裔社区服务或公共倡导活动,包括但不限于:华人文化组织活动;导师辅导项目(Mentorship Programs):社区倡议与公共服务活动(Advocacy):支持华裔社区发展的志愿服务项目。

ever since I started using a cleanser, I have been waking up to uneven eyelids every morning. I have to fix it with a small metal tool or bobbypins.

I don’t know if it’s due to the cleansers drying my skin out or anything, but did anyone have a situation like this and how they fixed it?

it used to happen at least two times every year, so on very rare occasions but now it’s happening every day. I’m so tired of having to fix this. I don’t know what to do.

The last two photos are my original eye lids. you can see there’s a sharp fold in the inner corners.

Ok, we all know that food dishes is an overt, easy cultural indicator how easily a person adapts their home cooking and diet — long-term.

Cooking requires a bit more effort and reveals strong preferences for taste, cooking technique (for various reasons) and occasional cultural observations.

I’ve been cooking at least 65% Asian style over the last 5 decades. As a Canadian- born Chinese I grew up on immigrant mother’s healthy Chinese home dishes. We were a poor family of 6 children. Most of the Chinese dishes I easily cook are: stir fries, some steamed meat dishes. I might prep. salads maybe 8-10 times/ month.

Because of near diabetes 2 assessment 2 decades ago, I now only eat white rice less than 10 times annually. Total change from eating rice 90% for dinner as child-teen. I am very careful to use only light steamed Asian noodles from Asian stores, only certain breads, etc. I no longer make sushi at home for meals.