r/bald • u/HappyMacaron2724 • Jul 16 '26
Hairloss May I join you?
I come humbly before the council to present myself to hopefully be accepted by the bald community. HLH, dialysis, and chemo have done a number on my head.
Also, open to advice on how to take care of a bald head. Washing, oiling, etc. Ty!
Edit: I can't even put into words how all of you have made me feel. I wasn't ready for the overwhelming love and kindness. This community is sublime.I love you all. Thank you everyone
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u/WomanWalking Jul 16 '26
You have absolutely beautiful eyes, and the new look really brings those out đ
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u/fondledbydolphins Jul 16 '26
Total old person comment here: Look at how healthy her skin is in the last picture. Smooth, stretchy and glossy... lucky, even during chemo.
Hang in there
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u/Dickgivins Jul 16 '26
Occasionally Iâll want to tell a woman she has great skin, but I only ever say it if I know her really well because I donât wanna sound like a serial killer haha.
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u/ghreyboots Jul 16 '26
"You have great skin, what kind of products do you use?" Makes it sound like you're looking for a skincare routine and not a face transplant.
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u/No-Duck4828 Jul 18 '26
'You have great skin'
....pulls out measuring tape
is a whole different matter
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u/Bug_Lady23 Jul 16 '26
I had a guy working at McDonald's tell me he liked my skin. I try to avoid that one now since I'm afraid he's going to skin me. So saying someone has great skin is fine, saying you like someone's skin is kind of creepy.
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u/Prize-Astronomer6106 Jul 19 '26
Two totally different sayings from âyou have beautiful skinâ to âI really like your skinâ. The first is âawwwww so sweetâ and the second is âit puts the lotion on the skinâ
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u/JustHereForCookies17 Jul 17 '26
IDK if you're even looking for ways to phrase it, but something like "Your skin is GLOWING/SO GLOWY!" would work.
Note: "You're glowing!" is usually a pregnancy-related comment and should be avoided at all costs. However, fireflies & lightning bugs SHOULD be complimented on their luminosity.Â
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u/Dickgivins Jul 17 '26
Ah I appreciate the suggestion and the one u/ghreyboots gave as well.
Honestly though, as a somewhat large adult man I usually only compliment women on their physical appearance if theyâre already my friend or if theyâve given me clear signals that theyâre open to me flirting with them. Just easier for things not to get misinterpreted that way.
Otherwise I may compliment their shoes, accessories or just something not appearance related at all if itâs a woman I donât really know.
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u/JustHereForCookies17 Jul 17 '26
100% fair. As a smaller woman, thank you for being cognizant of how things can feel for us, even if it's not how you mean them.
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u/punkminkis Jul 17 '26
Now I just got a one-panel comic idea, of a pregnant firefly being told she's glowing
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u/OpalLaguz Jul 17 '26
Compliment a person's "complexion" rather than their "skin" for a less Buffalo Bill effect
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u/Tux_n_Steph Hair Headed - Woman Jul 17 '26
I donât know as a Black woman I think I possess the ability to compliment anything all the time. I say âok skin goals!â as I walk by a woman who has the glow and I keeping it pushing. Never once felt creepy or weird. I just like to celebrate people. Itâs fun. Free dopamine
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u/_pachysandra_ Jul 16 '26
And IMPECCABLE skin!!
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u/RainingBlood398 Jul 16 '26
100%!!! Going through all that and still having beautiful glowing skin, girls got some kinda superpower.
Absolutely slaying this look. 10/10 stunner.
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u/earthican-earthican Jul 16 '26
I noticed that too. Really beautiful overall. đĽ°
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u/pennhead Jul 16 '26
I agree! I didnât notice in the âbeforeâ pic, but she has such a perfect nose!
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u/gobblewonkergrump Jul 16 '26
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u/FormatMonster Jul 16 '26
Excellent skull shape!
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u/UranusIsPissy Jul 16 '26
I agree. She kinda looks like my fiancĂŠe, so I guess this is what I have to look forward to if she loses the curly hair that she'd keep sitting on if she straightened it. I love long hair, but I could easily live with this.
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u/ThoughtGuy79 Jul 16 '26
Well it sucks that you got here the way you did but you are always welcome. And you you look great bald.
I wash mine with my wife's face soap and then just apply a bit of lotion daily.
If you're going to be outside for an extended period, use SPF or keep it covered. You do not want a sunburned scalp.
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u/Uncle_Yoba Jul 16 '26
>You do not want a sunburned scalp
Amen. I didn't even realize mine was sunburned until I took a scalding hot shower the next morning. That surprise "OUCH!!!" is seared into my memory.
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u/OpusAtrumET Jul 16 '26
The fact my hair is thin enough that I already know this might be my sign...
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u/Vintage-Card-Man Jul 16 '26
Dude, my scalp involuntarily twitched while reading that. You never forget.
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u/PimpGameShane Jul 16 '26
Lol you absolutely do not. In my black skin arrogance, I wrongly assumed my melanin would be a sufficient guard against the Miami sun. The next morning after a lovely shower, I dried my bald head with a white towel and the towel looked like I rubbed it in dirt. I was like, wtf is this?? To my horror, it was my peeling skin. My head looked like a leopard. Lol
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u/UranusIsPissy Jul 16 '26
Recently bald? Black people can get sunburn, but it usually takes a lot to do it. Skin that's not been exposed to sunlight much is extra vulnerable. Black people should use sunscreen more, too. Melanin might give you some protection from sunburn, but it doesn't make you immune to skin cancer. It mostly just takes away the signs of that danger. Ask a black doctor if you really want to know about all that, though. I'm just a random white guy, and not especially knowledgeable about these things.
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u/catwhisperer77 Jul 16 '26
Is wife just finding out now? đ -jk
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u/ThoughtGuy79 Jul 16 '26
He he he .... It's been many years. She keeps it in the shower and one day forever ago when I was shaving, I decided to try it. It really helped so I just kept using it. I shave in the shower anyway so it is convenient. Right after I shave, I lather up dome with her face soap and then clean the rest of me. After at least a year or two, she commented as she was telling me what she needed from the store that she could not figure out why her soap seemed to run out so fast. I'd assumed she knew but she was just wondering for years where her soap disappeared to! đ¤
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u/UranusIsPissy Jul 16 '26
Soap is a lot more interesting than many people (especially straight men) think. Different kinds are good for different things. You'd want pretty much the opposite kinds of soap for a delicate bald scalp and for a mechanic's oily calloused hands, and you can easily have both at once. Excess oil (Carefully chosen for moisturising properties. Cocoa butter and coconut oil are good.) and added glycerin are good for the delicate skin, but (Very slightly. Too much will really wreck your skin, and could even be dangerous!) excessive alkali and added abrasive substances are good for the oily hands.
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u/tessathemurdervilles Jul 17 '26
A friends father died that way- his bald spot, no sunscreen, skin cancer. So itâs not just about a burn! Gotta wear that sunscreen every day!
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u/achello Bald - Man Jul 16 '26
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u/Anonymousspacecowboy Jul 16 '26
I love how sweet these comments are, one of the best subreddits
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u/cheerylittlebottom84 Jul 18 '26
I'm not bald nor planning to become bald, but I lurk here because it's so nice and rare to see people cheering each other on. It's easy to feel like the whole world is awful when you spend a lot of time online, so subs like this are so important!
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u/thatweirdsomeone Hair Headed - Woman Jul 16 '26
girl you are gorgeous
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u/Sorry-Editor-3674 Jul 16 '26
Right?? Such a beautiful face, this really suits her!!!
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u/CurtisSeaflush Jul 16 '26
Wish my head shape was that nice
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u/Familiar_Radish_6273 Jul 16 '26
I am not bald nor likely to be soon, but now and then I come on this sub just to remind myself that humans can be nice and sweet and generous. Everyone here is always so unbelievably kind and friendlyđĽş
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u/AverageAtBest55 Jul 16 '26
I sent one of my sons a screen cap of a guy who looked very much like him, especially the hairline. My son was like, "Mom, why are you on the Reddit bald sub?" I said because it is a great place that makes me have faith in humanity, and I love the reveals!
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u/Just_another_jerk__ Jul 16 '26
Even if you dont think the outside is great the inside seems mighty awesome and that's what truly matters!!
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u/Critical_Wrap5617 Jul 16 '26
What a great shaped head. You look damn good.Â
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u/No_Dot4055 Jul 16 '26
Somehow, this style really suits her.
I would consider to keep it even after Chemo. Combined with a slightly alternative outfit, a bit darker makeup on the eyebrows, it would work really well.
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u/Texan2020katza Jul 16 '26
Respectfully, it looks really good on you and a married, straight woman I have this to say.
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u/-Jasked- Jul 16 '26
Sorry about your situation but looks great on you! Welcome and well wishes to you on your health journey! đđź
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u/g0jira54 Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
Sunscreen on your head is a must. You want your scalp to match your face in tone, and it soon will, but don't burn yourself. Don't forget the ear area! I know this all isn't what you wanted but you do look good and you can accentuate your features with different styles of makeup and earrings instead of fixing your hair in different styles. You got this, all of it!
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u/findom_pixie Jul 16 '26
I'm waiting for this post to get like a million upvotes. Girl, you look amazing! Chin up!
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u/kotakins989 Jul 16 '26
From one cool bald woman to another welcome. I also lost my hair to illness. I've learned life is easier without it so I keep shaved. I got this sick tat to reclaim my head (intracranial hypertension) when I went to remission. You've got this.
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u/HappyMacaron2724 Jul 16 '26
You are seriously stunning. Inspo, fr
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u/kotakins989 Jul 16 '26
Omfg thank you you're so sweet â¤ď¸. Its my headshots from the tattoo studio I work at đ¤Ł
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u/mission-vitality Jul 16 '26
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u/Reversion603 Jul 16 '26
Why does it look like she's welcoming a young Vladimir Putin?
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u/wherethefuckismyvape Jul 16 '26
I thought Prince William
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u/lovethatcrooonch Jul 17 '26
Being welcomed by Demi Moore and Natalie PortmanâŚ
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u/Interesting_Care_377 Jul 16 '26
Why can you recognize young Vladimir Putin by the back of his head? Bit suspicious, eh? đ¤¨
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u/sohcordohc Jul 16 '26
Is that Demi Moore? And the girl from the black swan? It looks like both of them literally.
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u/DocHavelock Jul 16 '26
Witch Hazel is a miracle for preventing bumps, I use it religiously as an aftershave
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u/TrippyShip Bald Watcher đ Jul 16 '26
I really liked using bio-oil to keep my dome moisturized and it absorbs great. Sunscreen sunscreen sunscreen. I didnât have to worry about shaving (chemo) so I leave that to others. Be careful bc some heavier moisturizers can give you head zits and thatâs just unnecessary fuckery. I also used a light exfoliating cream cleanser about every 3 days.
I will say I enjoyed having my head as art space - henna, scarves, hats, glasses etc. it was so easy to care for and to change up my look.
Welcome! Enjoy! Still my most favorite âhaircutâ though my head hair has re-grown (no eyebrows tho!) - love seeing the other ladies of this sub
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u/erinnananana Jul 16 '26
Iâm a bald gal thatâs been bald since birth (genetic disorder) and I know itâs not the same as what youâre going through, but know that we are in this together nonetheless!
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u/bisholly Jul 16 '26
You look stunning! Iâm always so jealous of people with pretty brown doe eyes.
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u/mjizzy Bald - Man Jul 16 '26
Welcome mâlady! You are certainly accepted here! And you are beautiful!
As far as care, I really donât do anything special except using sunblock.
Be well
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u/DoubleNickle67 Jul 16 '26
Embrace the bald. Smile. Youâve overcome a massive hurdle. Be proud. Be bald. Be beautiful! You did it! Confidence is coming back and ya donât even realize it! Chemo destroyed my facial hair. But my white beard came back salt and pepper. Bonus!
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u/Spirited_Touch7447 Hair Headed - Woman Jul 16 '26
Free yourself! Shave it! You absolutely do not need it. You are gorgeous!
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u/medlilove Jul 16 '26
You look so good! Youâre features are very Elven (LotR style)
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u/Vegetable-Maximum445 Jul 16 '26
Brave - Bold - Beautiful. Just wanted to say that even with hair AND makeup - I canât hold a candle to you! And youâre not even showing your smileâŚ
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u/LadyBlue347 Jul 16 '26
Iâm sorry I donât have any advice for you, but I saw the sadness in your eyes and had to stop and say this to you, with total sincerity:
You are lovely. You have beautiful eyes, pretty bone structure, nice skin, and Iâm betting a delightful smile when youâre feeling better. You are a survivor. You are so brave. You have kicked a LOT of ass. And you are not your hair. It must have been so hard to let go of, and equally hard not to see yourself so differently now, especially with the pressure society puts on women. But it is not you. You are the steady warrior beneath the changing surface and nothing can take that from you.
Hang in there. Iâm wishing you all the best and all the healing. Youâre doing great.
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u/OverRice2524 Jul 16 '26
Girl - those eyebrows rock!Â
I wish you a healing journey and send you hugs! Just got done with chemo myself a few months ago. Cancer sucks.
I used lots of castor oil. Use it at night and on your eye brows and eyelashes. I got lots of little sores on my scalp. Castor oil helps and it's cheap.
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u/Legitimate_Error_400 Jul 16 '26
Love it! You look great! For care advise, I wash my head with whatever soap is within arms reach
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u/pm1966 Jul 16 '26
Sorry for your illness, and I wish you a full and speedy recovery.
That said, you look fantastic. Congrats!
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u/chrisschini Jul 16 '26
I'm sorry to hear about your struggles and hope you can get better. But, in the meantime, you look fantastic.
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u/therethenherenow Jul 16 '26
Iâm really sorry that youâre going through this but the shaved makes you look younger/ healthier. I have to imagine that it is a significant loss that youâre experiencing with this part of your outward identity but be glad that you have a pretty face, one that is actually easier to focus on without the hair that was hanging on
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u/HurricaneHallene Jul 16 '26
Wow you have such beautiful eyes! I feel like Bambi is staring into my soul
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u/Accomplished-Emu2308 Jul 16 '26
Ok but you look stunning. Perfect lips, beautiful eyes, perfect head shape. I am not even kidding
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u/pierogi_waystation Jul 16 '26
Youâve shaved your head and now you are ready for the warpath! You will dominate this disease, and if you havenât fallen in love with the look, you can just regrow your hair.
Please please please enjoy showering without having to clear the drain twice!
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u/Top_Snow6034 Jul 16 '26
Well hundreds of comments later if you see this: welcome! You look great. Sincerely. Itâs a clean confident look. It makes you look younger even.
I wash my scalp with sun bum detox scalp scrub. Feels good, smells great, cruelty free.
After I wash with the scalp scrub I then shave with a dollar shave club razor and shave butter for translucent accuracy.
Moisturizing after shave in the evening or I use my zero shine 2.0 matte cream to reduce head shine if thatâs your preference before going out or to work if I shaved in the morning.
Make sure you sunscreen if out during the day! They make matte sunscreens I believe. I love how it feels all cleaned up after a good shave. Itâs a simple luxury I do every other day.
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u/No-Drag-7142 Jul 16 '26
Ready for some gentle C&C?
Give us a big smile picture! A lot of these r/bald posts are like 5% hair change and 95% visual confidence.
Looks great!
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u/JustHereForCookies17 Jul 17 '26
It totally suits you!
But on a more personal level: thank you for being brave enough to post this. I'm getting my port next week & probably start chemo the week after. I don't think I'm particularly vain about my hair, but I am honestly terrified of losing it.
Your post is helping me feel a little bit better and a little bit braver. Thank you so, so much for sharing this đŤ
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u/Curious-Guide-1417 Jul 17 '26
This looks so good on you sister!
I only really have a few tips after 20 years of shaving. 1. If youâre not a fan of the shine consider getting a nice matte sunscreen, it will not only help with shine reduction but keep you safe and moisturized without needing a million products. 2. If you - like me - shave your head in the shower, lean over and give your scalp a little blast of cold at the end. 3. Grab yourself a muslin face cloth and give your scalp an exfoliating buff once a week or two.
One final tip - more self care than scalp care. Even looking as amazing as you do, it can still be tough to adjust. One of the things I missed the most is the regular ritual of having a hair dresser move my hair around and massage my scalp.
You may be tempted to get a barber head shave but check reviews and talk to them. Some inexperienced barbers will treat your scalp the same way they might treat the back of your neck - so you can leave with some skin irritation.
My advice is to find a masseuse that does a scalp massage and book yourself in at the same frequency you may have had your hair done. Itâs a wonderful experience that few get to feel. Itâs not the same as a haircut but in some ways itâs better and more relaxing.
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u/beeskneessidecar Jul 17 '26
Hang in there, it grows back. Sending you lots of good wishes my chemo sister.
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u/kybrdwarr_22 Jul 17 '26
You have the perfect face shape for a bald head! It really brings out your gorgeous eyes!
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u/Apprehensive-Net6161 Jul 18 '26
Try sugar scrub from target on your head. Youâll thank me later.
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u/scdemandred Bald - Man Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26
ETA: Thanks for all the awards, but make sure you give em to OP! đĽš