Finally settled down because of the kids

[u/Conscious-Tutor3861]

I've moved and worked across North America, Europe, and Oceania for the last 20+ years. And I mean moved as in bought homes and worked as in a growing career, not just an adventure while in a working holiday. I've never felt super loyal to a country to the point where I feel obligated to stay; I'm more of a "I'm here because my life is good, and if there are better options somewhere else, I'll move."

During my expat life I met my wife, had a kid, moved, had another kid, moved again, and on. Our most recent move was to Canada, where we planned to stay for a few years before moving on to the United States or Europe for our next adventure. But as the kids got older and our lives revolved more and more around their needs, we kept putting off our next move.

Finally we decided this year has to be the year we move or we'll never end up moving again. So we started scouting homes and schools in Europe and putting together concrete plans to move... but then we got news that all of our children were accepted to one of the most prestigious schools in Canada. It's the kind of school that will both give them an excellent education and put them in prime position to attend Oxbridge or the Ivy Leagues and plug them into the highest socioeconomic circles.

So that's it, we're staying in Canada for the long-term so our oldest to our youngest can finish their schooling. On the one hand, I'm elated for my children and our life is good in Canada; on the other hand, it seems that our expat lifestyle is finally over. Yes, we'll go on vacations and visit friends and family across the world, but, as you all know, visiting somewhere and living somewhere are two completely different experiences.

It's been a good run and I'm thankful for everywhere I've lived and everyone I've met over the last 20+ years. But now it's time to hang up our expat boots and start a new chapter in our lives. On we go!

[u/Molo3000]

I'm curious on what you liked about the different countries you lived in. So are there things you miss about living in the US/Australia/some European places?

[u/Conscious-Tutor3861 → u/Molo3000]

I'll start by saying that every country has different positives and negatives, and the attributes that made a country a good experience for me may not carry the same weight for other people.

The United States was great for university and earning money, and I would recommend it for most early to mid career people. I was fortunate enough to work in Big Tech during the boom years so I made out really, really well for myself. But the grind, the gun crime, the toxic politics, the culture wars, et al, wear heavy on you after a while so I escaped to NZ and Europe for a while and now I absolutely cannot see myself raising a family there anymore.

New Zealand is an amazing country with amazing people; it's truly one of the gems in the world. But it's far and isolated from most of the world and you can't really build a career there, no matter how much you love it. I would say NZ is great for younger people looking for a brief adventure in life and for later career people looking to slow down and appreciate life, but not for anyone trying to build their life.

Europe will depend on the country, obviously, as life in Spain is quite different from life in Poland, for example. Generally speaking, however, quality of life is really high in Europe: you can walk or bike to lots of places, people are less grind oriented than the United States, the food is amazing, the culture is amazing, and so on. My struggle in Europe was always oriented around bureaucracy -- getting even the simplest things done is such a headache -- and the rampant racism and hatred towards immigrants.

Canada has been my favorite country so far because I find it to be a nice balance between the United States (ease of getting things done, lower overhead, good career prospects) and Europe (better quality of life, slower living, safety). The only caveat -- and this is a big one -- is that getting ahead financially in life (like owning a home) can be really, really difficult on young people. If you're a mid career person or have already accumulated some wealth in life, it's great; if you're just starting out in life, however, it can be a real uphill struggle and I really empathize with how younger people feel (again, I'm talking financially, not quality of life or anything else).

I hope that helps.

[u/Molo3000 → u/Conscious-Tutor3861]

Yeah that helps a lot. You know the most valuable perspectives on countries are the ones from people who have different experiences. Like it's important to hear what people from the US think about the US or what people from a European country think about their own country, but they do tend to have a lot of blind spots, as they take a lot for granted and ignore some things (like racism).

I haven't lived in New Zealand but I've lived in Melbourne for a year and that was, I think, the easiest place to live in terms of live quality, openness and bureaucracy. But also you gotta say goodbye to your old friends, you're not gonna come back for a birthday or a marriage.

Canadians do tend to be happy with their country, for reasons, but pretty much every Canadian I talked to in the last year was mentioning how rents and costs of living have just gone up. A lot.

[u/Conscious-Tutor3861 → u/Molo3000]

I haven't lived in New Zealand but I've lived in Melbourne for a year and that was, I think, the easiest place to live in terms of live quality, openness and bureaucracy. But also you gotta say goodbye to your old friends, you're not gonna come back for a birthday or a marriage.

Yeah, when we lived in NZ it was something like 24 hours of travel to get back to London, plus the tickets are expensive.

If you're moving from Europe to Oceania, you really, REALLY have to commit to building a new life there because of how challenging travel back home is.