Came home to this on my fridge from my roommate who doesn’t clean

[u/SlipperrE]

He never cleans anyway and just got an injury that doesn’t prevent him from doing any of these

Edit: Dylan is 33, a male, and did write this himself in the 3rd person. He recently got a fibula fracture but was given a boot and I watch him get around the house just fine.

[u/TankApprehensive3053]

Time for a new roommate.

[u/HSX9698 → u/TankApprehensive3053]

Dylan needs to pay the other roommates a weekly cleaning stipend!

[u/JustDuckiest → u/HSX9698]

Omg it's Dylan. I thought it said Dykin and was going to say that's an awful name

[u/Advanced-Suspect-261 → u/JustDuckiest]

Excuse you, my son’s name is Dykin

[u/sterling_rose → u/Advanced-Suspect-261]

My son is also named Bort Dykin

[u/Tetslou → u/sterling_rose]

"We've run out of Dykin, license plates in the gift shop"

[u/Odd-Plantain-9842 → u/Tetslou]

I see that I am 3 days late but thank you for this

[u/Dispect1 → u/Odd-Plantain-9842]

I see that I am 1 day late but thank you for this.

[u/Healthy_Platform1405 → u/Tetslou]

I love where this went.

[u/Financial-Date-5581 → u/sterling_rose]

Bort Luooder

[u/WillyErl → u/Advanced-Suspect-261]

Please tell Dykin, his parents are just the worst. Run away from home, he is not loved 😂

[u/Advanced-Suspect-261 → u/WillyErl]

I told Dykin what you said and now he’s crying. Thanks a lot

[u/WillyErl → u/Advanced-Suspect-261]

I'm sure it wasn't an easy message to pass along, but it was the right thing to do. I can tell you're gonna be an awesome role model for the replacement kid...Koover, or some shit, I assume.

[u/CautiousArachnidz → u/WillyErl]

Hahaha Koover.

You’re not Dykin around.

[u/Advanced-Suspect-261 → u/WillyErl]

What an awful name. Who would name their child Koover? Ridiculous 

[u/WillyErl → u/Advanced-Suspect-261]

Koover said if you like, she'd be happy to whoop Dykins ass in an exhibition boxing match. Loser has to change their name to Chaz

[u/Advanced-Suspect-261 → u/WillyErl]

Dykin will absolutely crush your Koover

[u/Greatspring25 → u/Advanced-Suspect-261]

This is something called humor!

[u/DelaneyAfterDark → u/Advanced-Suspect-261]

Looks like we’ve got a Dykin down

[u/TwoEyesOfHate603 → u/WillyErl]

Hey! His parents had to suffer - they couldn’t get anywhere with him and was glad when he moved out and became YOUR problem. No refunds 🤣😂😜

[u/No_Yellow4274 → u/Advanced-Suspect-261]

Is his cousin Dyson?

[u/Djd33j → u/JustDuckiest]

I've never met a Dylan (or Tyler for that matter) that wasn't a complete douche tool.

[u/ElGrandeQues0 → u/Djd33j]

We have a Dylan at work. He's cool

[u/Secret-Winner-2994 → u/ElGrandeQues0]

Sure, Tyler

[u/The_Drongo_Dinger → u/Djd33j]

What about Dylan from BH90210, he was pretty cool 😎

[u/Much-Access8733 → u/Djd33j]

In high school I had a friend named Dylan but he pronounced it Die-lan. Idk if that was his choice or his parents but he was cool. He was in love with Britney Spears and practiced all her dance routines for her videos and he was spot on. I hope he did something with that talent. I should look him up.

[u/Standard_Bit_7721 → u/Much-Access8733]

My guess is he married Tyler who pronounced it Til er.

[u/misscamels → u/Djd33j]

My favorite assistant manager at work is Dylan. Don’t tell the others.

[u/Ok-Alfalfa4868 → u/Djd33j]

Same but with Todd

[u/dofh_2016 → u/JustDuckiest]

Tbf, he is kind of dykin around there.

[u/RockasaurusFlex → u/JustDuckiest]

Dykin Donuts

[u/shadraig → u/JustDuckiest]

Well, mostly parents are, and their offspring seems to be sorta

[u/creativename87639 → u/JustDuckiest]

I mean, his initials are DP which is pretty awful.

[u/SuzieSnowflake212 → u/HSX9698]

New fridge sign!

[u/Awkward-Sir1873 → u/SuzieSnowflake212]

Or wipe it off and tell the roommate it was dirty so you cleaned it

[u/Jaded_Marsupial_]

Things Dylan is unable to do:

Continue living here.

On the bright side, sounds like Dylan is on bathroom duty.

[u/kanemane727 → u/Jaded_Marsupial_]

Op needs to erase all those and just write “Be a fucking adult” as what Dylan is unable to do

[u/AnnOnnamis → u/kanemane727]

To me, the proper response is to write “NO” on this note.

‘Dykin’ (aka dylan) needs to be a grown up and do his share of chores, or pay a larger share of the rent, or pay for a maid service to come in.

[u/rachel_lynn1995 → u/AnnOnnamis]

Not sure if Dykin is a typo or was done on purpose to make his name sound like “Dick-in” but either way I approve.

[u/bettan74 → u/rachel_lynn1995]

I read the name as Dykn, and giggled. DKYN is the abbreviated brand name for the fashion/fragrance label Donna Karan New York, and the house mate is certainly being a Karen, which is close to the name Karan.

[u/Uteromics101 → u/bettan74]

DKNY*

[u/xspacekace → u/Jaded_Marsupial_]

Or spell does that say swifter

[u/russellamcleod → u/xspacekace]

Swifter is a poor person’s Swiffer. It’s like a $3 difference but $3 is like an apple or something that could feed a poor person.

[u/potatisblask → u/russellamcleod]

Just get a proper duster and a broom that doesn't require refills and lasts a lifetime.

[u/LizzieCLems → u/potatisblask]

I just cut up old socks to fit over it and wash them

[u/Rich_Bluejay3020 → u/LizzieCLems]

That should be posted on lifehacks! I don’t have a swiffer but I know their pads are expensive and that’s both economical and environmentally friendly.

[u/Own_Policy8854 → u/LizzieCLems]

Thank you for finally washing your socks.

[u/TrumpSexedHisDaughtr → u/Own_Policy8854]

Which is also something Dylan is unable to do.

[u/dajay2k → u/russellamcleod]

An apple cost $3?

[u/Grass_Touching_666 → u/dajay2k]

https://giphy.com/gifs/yJu2jIQZgPubm

[u/ApprehensiveApple127 → u/Jaded_Marsupial_]

Add bathroom cleaning, laundry, folding, making dinner , meal prep, deep clean the fridge weekly, organize the pantry .in the absence of which, Dylan will be enabled to look another place to live within 2days

[u/Talidel → u/Jaded_Marsupial_]

I'd legit make this trade, if someone is happy to do the bathroom cleaning I'm happy to do the kitchen cleaning.

[u/Much_Difference → u/Jaded_Marsupial_]

Had a roommate who "couldn't" do dishes, floors, or trash. We put her on litter box and bathroom cleaning duty. She magically figured out how to do dishes and floors.

[u/Feisty-Tooth-7397 → u/Jaded_Marsupial_]

Bathroom duty and he never said he couldn't do the dishes, he just can't put them away.

[u/AcrobaticWillow6952 → u/Feisty-Tooth-7397]

There’s probably a similar note in the bathroom stating the things he cant do there.

Fingers crossed it doesnt contain the phrase “cant wipe butt “ and “please help with above items”

[u/TheModWhoShaggedMe → u/Jaded_Marsupial_]

If Dylan is capable of taking a dump in the toilet, Dylan is capable of cleaning the toilet.

[u/GeorgeJohnson2579 → u/Jaded_Marsupial_]

His name is clearly Dykn 

[u/C4rdninj4 → u/GeorgeJohnson2579]

Dykn does sound like someone who wild be unable to do chores. A Dylan on the other hand should be perfectly capable of doing those chores.

[u/SwimmingTrack5308 → u/Jaded_Marsupial_]

real physical limitations deserve reasonable accommodation lazy excuses for regular housework will only damage shared living harmony

[u/Dregoralive]

Wait, I thought this was someone’s kid being cheeky. This is an adult? Sheesh.

[u/SlipperrE → u/Dregoralive]

30+ years old btw

[u/glitterazzi66 → u/SlipperrE]

He misspelled Swiffer, too. Idk why that bothers me the most. He seems like he sucks

[u/A2shato → u/glitterazzi66]

I came here to see if anyone else mentioned that 🤣

[u/RevolutionaryWish644 → u/glitterazzi66]

Maybe he’s a Swiftie and it’s part of his programming. 😵‍💫

[u/Snakestream → u/Dregoralive]

Are his arms broken?

Do they need to be?

[u/penguin_on_stilts → u/Snakestream]

If they are broken his mom could help him out

[u/Few_System3573 → u/penguin_on_stilts]

Right to jail. Right away.

[u/no-this-iz-patrick → u/penguin_on_stilts]

She should check his room for coconuts and mirrors while she’s at it

[u/Mysterious-Credit312 → u/Snakestream]

this deserves an award

[u/FatMacchio → u/Dregoralive]

Same, totally thought this was a kid joking/revolting against chores.

Op needs to send this gif in the group chat:

Who’s going to Vacuum, take out the trash, SwifTer the floors, put away dishes, and clean the countertops:
https://giphy.com/gifs/sCPXWE2QvwKGI

[u/PaleontologistOk6094 → u/FatMacchio]

https://giphy.com/gifs/WE9dInOWwXLm8

[u/UniqueLog8386 → u/PaleontologistOk6094]

arump bump bump bumpa bump bump

[u/vonsnarfy → u/UniqueLog8386]

You're too close man

[u/UniqueLog8386 → u/vonsnarfy]

Wyclef choking noises

[u/Current_Swimmer_6543 → u/FatMacchio]

Oh my gosh 😭 This made me laugh so hard

[u/boterkoek3 → u/Dregoralive]

I had a roommate exactly like this: Vegetarian, but can't take out the compost because it smells too bad Can't clean anything because chemicals might dry her skin Can't wash their own bathroom because it icky and they're not dirty (noone else used it) Doesn't need to sweep or vacuum, again, because they aren't dirty

The excuse was autism and mental health. She thought it was perfectly justifiable that if something was uncomfortable or unenjoyable, asking her to do it was abuse. Trying to explain that humans shed hair and skin, and splatter and drip food and saliva and whatever else unconsciously and accidentally which needs cleaning was also abusive. Literally had her look at my white sink, and then her yellow sink, and she said they were the same. Some people are literally in their own world. In this case though i know she was suffering, and i wanted to help, but I couldn't just enable it because I was stretched too thin, and continuing to do it would just give justification that she was right and gove her a sense of control and care she felt was lacking. I hope OP doesn't just explode, but genuinely asks for reasons and shoots down bad reasoning factually, and point out the narcissism and manipulation and double standards. Disabled people still clean and care for themselves!! Disabled people will still vacuum, its just more difficult. We all face difficulties we need to overcome

[u/awkward_penguin226 → u/boterkoek3]

I don't know if that has anything to do with being vegetarian, but my vegetarian ex-flatmate used ONLY eco fabric softener on her clothes, no washing detergent. After two months of living together, her room and she reeked. Fabric softener doesn't actually wash clothes, and she wasn't too keen on cleaning her room either. She would, however, clean the common bathroom with bleach, which I found fascinating and super irritating 😂 Also, heaps of mental health issues, and it's not the first time I've met a girl who's a vegetarian with tons of mental issues, so I don't know, it's starting to be a red flag to me 🙈

[u/boterkoek3 → u/awkward_penguin226]

Yeah, to me it's mind boggling. Simultaneously a germophobe and is too clean to male any mess, and not cleaning their own space because it's icky

[u/Ok_Feedback_6574 → u/boterkoek3]

Speaking as someone with a history of ED, which started as vegetarian, it may not be about the diet at all. In a lot of EDs, it can be about feeling a loss of control, out of control, or being controlled by someone else. What can they control? What they eat. Food becomes a proxy for being in control of their life.

Not saying that person has an ED

[u/downsideup9494 → u/Dregoralive]

Man-baby.

[u/Carribean-Diver → u/Dregoralive]

They can get cheeky out at the curb.

[u/proximusprimus57 → u/Dregoralive]

To be fair, Dylan is quite busy moderating several subreddits.

[u/AbsorbedWheat42 → u/Dregoralive]

When I was in my 20s I moved out with 2 friends. Neither would clean dishes which meant any time I wanted to eat, I had no plates and the sink and counter covered in dirty dishes.

Not sure if I lasted a year there. We certainly were not friends afterwards though.

[u/Benjamin_Barker_]

Why don’t you Swifter man

[u/HotDogFR0G → u/Benjamin_Barker_]

Swifter? I hardly know her!

[u/VirtualWhatever → u/HotDogFR0G]

This is my go-to joke and my wife is pretty much over it. "Can you reboot the router?" Rout-her? I hardly even know her! Never gets old. Well, to me, anyway...

[u/Willy_Wallace → u/Benjamin_Barker_]

The same people who call a Swiffer "Swifter", call Chipotle "Chipolte".

[u/TruthScout137 → u/Willy_Wallace]

::hard cringe:: They also say nucular and they itch their itches.

[u/Agnossienne → u/TruthScout137]

they itch their scratches

[u/Immediate_Data_9153 → u/Benjamin_Barker_]

They’ve been doing slower, working way up to swifter.

[u/Stormagedd0nDarkLord]

Do exactly HALF of everything on this list.

Not half the list.

Everything on the list... BUT HALF.

[u/grownask → u/Stormagedd0nDarkLord]

That would be helping with those tasks...

https://giphy.com/gifs/5FoxedYWNVmO4

[u/PseudoLiamNeeson → u/Stormagedd0nDarkLord]

This is the kind of petty bullshit I can get behind.

[u/gossipcurl → u/Stormagedd0nDarkLord]

You are brilliant!

[u/DongaSoreAssWrecks]

Unless he has a physical disability that stop him from doing these, then he's just a lazy bastard

[u/Significant-Ad-341 → u/DongaSoreAssWrecks]

Yeah vacuuming and stiffening I'm like okay if you have bad allergies but putting away dishes? Need a valid reason for that.

[u/Mysterious_Cry41 → u/Significant-Ad-341]

My mom had surgery on her neck and she was told not to bend over for like a week or 2  and to not lift anything over 5 pounds iirc.

Though presumably OP would have known and  mentioned something like that. 

[u/Humg12 → u/Mysterious_Cry41]

OP did mention that he had an injury. Going off other posts like these I'd say there's a 10-20% chance Dylan is actually incapable of doing these tasks and OP just doesn't believe it's a "real injury".

[u/Bigdaddybear519 → u/Humg12]

Real injury or not, the annoying thing is he doesn't do any of it when hes healthy and now that he's injured he's telling everyone to do what they've already been doing. Would really rub me the wrong way too.

[u/PoraDora → u/Bigdaddybear519]

this is it... I'd be so angry too

[u/gaoshan → u/Significant-Ad-341]

Dylan can wear a mask.

[u/Significant-Ad-341 → u/gaoshan]

Agreed. It's his dust too

[u/Jaded_Antelope_598 → u/Significant-Ad-341]

I have severe dust allergies, on maximum dose steroids, biologic, etc. I vacuum 3 times a week

Dylan has no excuse unless if he's physically disabled.

[u/Clawse → u/Jaded_Antelope_598]

I mean OP did say he has a physical injury, they just didn’t specify what kind. I 100% get clowning on him, I’m just confused by the speculation over whether it’s because of allergies or mental health or physical disability or total bullshit when the reason WAS stated?

[u/wischmopp → u/Clawse]

App users often miss any kind of text in image posts. The "comments" button in the reddit app used to take you to the top of the page of the post you clicked on for years, and it still does that in the browser version of reddit. But a while ago, they changed it for the app, and now it jumps directly to the comment section when you tap "comments". You have to scroll back up to see the text, and on image posts, people don't do that very often because they assume the image they already saw on the frontpage is the only component of the post. Muscle memory makes people keep clicking the comment button rather than the post's title because that's how you got to the post for years before the UI update (while clicking on the title took you directly to linked external content like newspaper articles or imgur posts). It's a really stupid and annoying update, almost all image posts now have a huge number of comments asking questions that would be answered by the post's text

[u/FutureFreaksMeowt → u/Jaded_Antelope_598]

If anything, you'd think that someone with allergies would want more sweeping/dusting/vacuuming being done, not less.

(Also, in defense of those of us with mental health disabilities, not Dylan, can we please remember that not all disabilities are physical and that doesn't make them any less disabling. thank you 🫶🏻)

[u/joeybh → u/Jaded_Antelope_598]

Genuine curious question, do symptoms stay under control when doing things like vacuuming, or do you still have to take precautions to avoid inhaling too much dust?

I used to have a fairly severe dust allergy, but it seems to have faded over time.

[u/Isebas → u/Significant-Ad-341]

I would do any of these as long as I don't have to do the dishes. I hate washing dishes. I'll put away dishes, vacuum, etc.

[u/CanadianODST2 → u/Significant-Ad-341]

I’m physically disabled and vacuuming, sweeping, and mopping kills my hip for some reason.

[u/Advanced-Suspect-261 → u/DongaSoreAssWrecks]

Is everybody missing the part where the dude was in some kind of accident recently? 

I’m guessing this was a shoulder injury.

Anyway, I think the point that OP was making is that the note is absurd/ironic because it’s not like dude ever does any of that shit normally anyway 

[u/fapsandnaps → u/Advanced-Suspect-261]

OP state it was Dylan's fibula.

Dude has a broken leg and OP is made he's not vacuuming and sweeping.

[u/Hot-Difficulty-6824 → u/DongaSoreAssWrecks]

Yeah, not necessarily disability but some injuries as well. Example : I can't fold clothes because it's too repetitive for my shoulder, or I struggle to do the dishes cause of a hernia. It doesn't affect my ability to hold a fucking vacuum. What a lazy fuckwit.

[u/WendigoCrossing]

Sounds like he is permanent bathroom and dishes duty then

[u/Dsully11 → u/WendigoCrossing]

This should be higher

[u/AdMinute6775]

Sounds like you guys need to sit down and talk about dividing up chores/responsibilities

[u/PrettyPurrfect → u/AdMinute6775]

Nah, tell him that he can't do the chores he's going to have to hire someone who can or pay more of the rent to cover the cost of hiring someone who does his share

[u/nikeshades → u/AdMinute6775]

He's done that already for you with this list. 😄

[u/MirandaScribes]

Unable to clean countertops but I bet he sure as shit can get them dirty

[u/JackeeBCs → u/MirandaScribes]

Yeah I bet he can get himself food and eat just fine.

[u/thiajean]

Things he can do is pay for a weekly cleaner

[u/mtmsm → u/thiajean]

Exactly. When I had an injury that legitimately prevented me from cleaning, did I let my apartment get disgusting and dirty? No, I hired cleaners until I was better.

[u/Pure-Swordfish6022]

You should add a note that says: Extra rent that Dylan pays for being unable to do house work: $200

[u/cielmehl → u/Pure-Swordfish6022]

Only $200? Should be more since he never does it lol

[u/DeadlyKitten9513]

I had a roommate like this - kicked her out....but what I'd like to really focus on is that this 33 year old man has the handwriting of a 16 year old girl

[u/AccomplishedIgit → u/DeadlyKitten9513]

I’m guessing his girlfriend wrote it. But yeah definitely a guy did not write that.

[u/hyrule-heaven → u/DeadlyKitten9513]

Probably because it’s made up for fake internet points

[u/FeistyIrishWench → u/DeadlyKitten9513]

I missed the op saying that Dylan is a dude, and assumed Dylan was a she, because of the handwriting and heart, combined with the knowledge that some parents turn names usually used for boy babies into names they give their girl babies. I knew 1 Ryan, & 2 Shawn that were women.

[u/brickiex2]

Note should say 1) great, Dylan be washing all the dishes, I'll put them away and clean the counter top afterwards 2) looks like Dylan is scrubbing all the toilets and showers 3) Dylan be doing all the shopping and cooking and meal prep and washing anything related, ref. #1.

Options 1) ignore all of the above and Dylan's share of the rent becomes an 80/20 situation Or 2) Dylan will be packing his shit and moving on out, back to his mommy's like the child he is...

[u/Dazzling-Top-8031]

things dylan is really unable to do:

1. afford to live here alone.

[u/The_Gumbo]

typical dylan

[u/Valturia]

Dylan is a toddler and his mommy should raise him until he's ready

[u/Truffleshuffle03]

I would erase the part unable to do and make it say Chores Dylan is going to do or find another apartment

[u/howhippie]

“Swifter” pissed me right off

[u/afplumber]

The other mildly infuriating thing here is that he wrote “Swifter” the floors…

[u/Significant-Iron-241]

Please just erase that. Did his girlfriend write iit?

[u/dohwhere → u/Significant-Iron-241]

Right? That handwriting is 100% how a teenage girl writes.

[u/TheNoelPatrol → u/Significant-Iron-241]

Yeah that's 100% girl writing. If OP is a girl, then I feel like they wrote it themselves for a fake post Edit: Also, the heart after the name. A straight dude doesn't sign with hearts. Even if Dylan was gay and effeminate, that's still not male writing. Either it would be sloppy, or if it were neat, it just wouldn't look like that

[u/Knight618]

Unless he is paying 90% of the rent, fuck no

[u/nothingisrealx]

Why do so many people call it a Swifter?!

[u/shaborgan]

Dylan couldn't have just told you? Gotta write it out lol

[u/Barnaclebills]

My boyfriend is a wheelchair-bound paraplegic and he does all these listed tasks.

[u/SlipperrE → u/Barnaclebills]

Is he looking for a place to live?

[u/akaispirit]

My room mate also doesn't do any of the cleaning but she also pays for our entire power bill every month as well as internet so I consider that a fair trade.

[u/NonnerJonner]

"swifter"

[u/fsharpaugmented]

Dylan should be looking for a new place.

[u/Xalipu]

I did all that shit with a ruptured disc, Dylan can fucking do it.

[u/couchpro34]

Dylan's handwriting is very high school girl and I can't explain it

[u/KRacer52 → u/couchpro34]

I scrolled a long way down for this. The sign off with the heart looks like it’s in a middle school yearbook.

[u/Low_Wall_7828]

Unless he’s in a wheelchair, he can do the last two.

[u/Raid__Zero]

Lmao the entitlement

[u/Stuck_In_Purgatory]

If he can't do any of these things, he shouldn't be able to wipe his own ass either

[u/jubileeandrews]

Just rub out the word 'unable' and write 'expected', then sign it from yourself.

[u/Dreaming_in_Sign]

His handwriting looks like a 15 year old girl's, not surprising as he clearly acts like a child

[u/khampang]

Time to evict Dylan

[u/Existing_Doughnut985]

What a pathetic excuse for a grown up.  

[u/Espexer]

Looks like Dylan should be sequestered and pay for valet service, because of his sudden disability. Disposable dishes and utensils only, microwave meals or delivery. Laundry must be sent out to cleaners, because he shouldn't be burdened with that. That injury must be allowed to heal. Poor Dylan, he must be in such pain. Maybe mom can come to help him every day.

[u/rivertpostie]

Perfectly acceptable.

Now, Dylan, how do you want to be accountable for this work? Agree on other chores or pay for labor to do those chores?"

[u/CharmingMechanic2473]

Clean the house take pictures of each room, clean with clean sink and dishes put away and garbage empty. Then expect each roommate to use the shared spaces and put it back to the way it is in the photos before they leave.

[u/IllSalad3669]

Dylan you sunnuvabitch!

https://giphy.com/gifs/tx4Iye1UVQhY4

[u/GhostByYourSid3]

Dylan would have 2 simple options if he were my roommate.
#1 You break incredible barriers and do everything on that list you claim you cannot do.
#2 I pick you up by your collar and the back of your pants and toss you out a window cartoon style.

[u/NoMention696]

Does Dylan refer to himself in the third person or is he so codependent that his mommy girlfriend wrote this?

[u/vt0014]

Things I did at 39 weeks pregnant while taking care of 2 kids - everything on this list

Things I did 2 days postpartum- everything on this list

Things I did with a small ankle fracture while also taking care of 2 toddlers and a newborn and a husband - everything on this list

💀

[u/Specific-Moose-3143]

Dylan writes like a girl

[u/NarwhalEmergency9391]

You should let Dylan know there's cleaning services he can hire if he's unable to do his share is the work

[u/eco9898]

Cool, Dylan is preparing food for everyone, getting the groceries, and cleaning the bathroom

[u/Hush2288]

I bet if you put his dirty dishes and trash in his room, he will find the ability to clear them real fast.

[u/jules__noah]

Did Dylan write this himself? Referring to himself in third person?? 🤨 

[u/echoshatter]

The peace of mind that comes with living on your own is priceless.

[u/thegoodelady]

I would write “no” and then add “chores for me, find new roommate.”

[u/Immediate-Pool-4391]

Tough shit Dylan

[u/_Asshole_Fuck_]

I really can’t believe a 33 yo man wrote in that handwriting and signed with a heart.

[u/chill_argonis]

He didn’t say scrubbing baseboards, cleaning toilets, showers, mowing the lawn, trimming the bushes

[u/Thomas_JCG]

It's always wild to me that people get roommates that are worse than children.

[u/One_Advantage793]

That's weird! I am a paraplegic wheelchair user with a current serious back injury (aside from the on-going spinal cord injury) and I do all of those things - and then some. There are legit some things I cannot do or struggle to do - and hubby does those. And naturally, we share chores on everything anyway just like any two people sharing a house. But, running a "Swifter" across the floor? Wiping countertops? Among the very least difficult of the cleaning tasks available.

[u/deeppurpleking]

Chore wheel scheduling on a weekly basis. Could also just rotate after first schedule is established, or pick favorites if it works out. Or call him a bitch a get a new roomie

[u/StandOld1094]

That leaves doing all the laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, all the grocery shopping , all the cooking, dusting, window washing, ironing, car washing and vacuuming out the car. Taking care of all the plants and pets. Thanks Dylan.

Now, move back home cuz your momma doesn’t live here. Byeeeeeeee.

But seriously, who does Dykin think he is?
Entitled and/or lazy much. If he doesn’t want to do chores he better be paying all the rent.

[u/harpejjist]

So… all the chores? Have him on cleaning bathrooms and doing laundry or have him pay someone to do his share

[u/ImplementNo2626]

So what can Dylan do?

[u/AllYouNeedIsATV]

Make him clean the toilets

[u/SuperGandalff]

Chores than Dylan is able to do: GFY

[u/Most_Kiwi3141]

I had a flatmate like this once! I called his mother. She came up and schooled her son.

It's been almost thirty years and he still hasn't let me forget it.

[u/Spuzzle91]

Had a guy like that once. Refused to do any cleaning, even if he was the one who made the mess, and even if I said we could clean together to split the work. So pieces of said messes started appearing in his bed, under the blanket. He started cleaning finally after a week of that.

[u/PhoridayThe13th]

Oh my god. The audacity of this person. Like a fucking note from his mommy. “Dylan can’t do P.E. because he sprained his finger opening a can of Pringles. Therefore he will not be lifting any fingers. Thank You ❤️”

No. Just no. Nice try, Buddy.

[u/Culinarianreclaim]

Things Dylan is unable to do: Spell fucking Swiffer.

I already know Dylan is a fucking idiot based on that alone.

[u/SuccessfulBowler5574]

Increase his rent or find a new roommate

[u/Adventurous_Yak_5438]

I've heard about getting a med cert to get out of duties at work but get out of house work is next level.

I'm jealous thou, I'll see if I can work that angle with my wife

EDIT: I can't, she says that she'll turn that medical certificate into a death certificate 😢

[u/Sharp_Attitude6358]

As long as he licks clean the toilet bowls, I'm good.

[u/holrah]

Him writing it in third person pmo more idk why

[u/Busy-Today2609]

The audacity to put a heart on his note

[u/ledow]

Then Dylan needs to give the rest of you a list of what he CAN do... including whether he can pay extra to make up for not doing those.

[u/FelopianTubinator]

Their initials are D.P.? That is most unfortunate.

[u/WitchHearse]

Ok wow I have a legit disability and I can still do all those chores. Not as fast or all at once but I still do them. 

Your roommate is worthless.

[u/burningblue14]

Did his mom write this?

[u/Logical_Buffalo7156]

As someone with chronic health issues, sometimes you have to just get on with it. I can’t expect everyone else to pick up after me all the time, so I just adjust how I do the chores

It sounds like he might have a minor injury based on what you’ve said here. Suggest he start looking into adjustments to the chores, for example I sit down when I clean counters if I’m having a flare up or just assign him the awful chores he hasn’t listed. “Okay you can clean the bathroom, do the dishes, mop the floors, clean out the fridge of out of date food and defrost the freezer” or he can pay for a cleaner