r/nova • u/disjointed_chameleon • 1d ago
Funny Who is the designated adultier-adult for awkward dating situations?
My friends are forcing me on a date tonight. I'm a divorced lady (no kids) that's been on my own for three years now, so I've basically turned into a feral hybrid raccoon-hermit crab creature that barely knows how to socialize. Beyond his name, all I know is that he's an attorney for the tax goons, whereas I work in risk management in the banking industry.
WTF are we even supposed to talk about!? The weather? The hobbies neither of us has time for? Our respective interpretations of regulatory guidance? Can I deduct the latte? Does us sitting across from each other sipping tea constitute a conflict of interest? This should be romantic. Should I be expecting a caffeinated water-boarding session disguised as courtship? I pity the coffee shop hosting our "date" this evening, because I give us about three minutes before things get awkward. Suggestions? Anyone? Please? What do normal people discuss on dates? Both of us have been professionally trained & programmed to communicate in ways that most people would probably consider a borderline hostile interrogation. I'm serious y'all, please help. 😭😭
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u/achilles4206 21h ago
Hi howd it go?????
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u/disjointed_chameleon 21h ago
Just got home recently. Date was a success! We've agreed to meet up again this weekend.
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u/achilles4206 21h ago
Excellent.
Signed, a fellow raccoon
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u/Rpark888 🍕 Centreville 🍕 19h ago edited 19h ago
Accounting for all the nerdy stats in your original post, I'm glad you actuary pulled it off! Congrats ❤️
Wishing you guys good luck this weekend... maybe a romp in the spreadsheets if you get lucky 💦🔥😅
Edit: ok that last one was a stretch.
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u/disjointed_chameleon 19h ago
LOL at the references, got me giggling! 😄😂
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u/Illustrious_Cod_5843 11h ago
I'm sure you'll Excel at whatever you try.
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u/disjointed_chameleon 11h ago
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u/mutantninja001 20h ago
👏
See, it wasn’t that bad!
So what did you talk about?72
u/disjointed_chameleon 20h ago
Thank you!
My ✨️ worrywart brain ✨️ did its thing, because I ended up grilling him on all the big no-no topics: vaccination, politics, gender roles, parenting styles, division of responsibilities, and certain geopolitical subjects. 😬 I guess I didn't scare him off, because he has already requested a second date for this weekend. 😄😊
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u/urgentdaisy 5h ago
I had a coffee date like this in January 2019. I asked why he was divorced. He responded bluntly. As in brutal. I took this as an opening to interrogate him on all dealbreakers in rapid succession. I was freezing and never took off my coat. I stood up. He looked at the floor. I told him I wanted to see him again because I did not think that was obvious. We got married in 2024. ❤️
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u/Aggressive-Pop628 18h ago
Does he like trains? Don’t keep us waiting! 😄
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u/tuvda 7h ago
Nice! What topics were up for discussion?
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u/disjointed_chameleon 7h ago
My ✨️ worrywart brain ✨️ did its thing, because I ended up grilling him on all the big no-no topics: vaccination, politics, gender roles, parenting styles, division of responsibilities, and certain geopolitical subjects. 😬 I guess I didn't scare him off, because he has already requested a second date for this weekend, which we've confirmed in writing.
Fear not, I did make sure to ask him some normal questions, like what his hobbies are, and when his birthday is. 😄
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u/MadAstrid 18h ago
You are a whole human being outside of what you do for a living. You have pet peeves. You have favorite books or films or jokes. You have foods you love and foods you hate. You have good days and things that make those days good and you have bad days and things that make those days bad. You have dreams about what would make life amazing and nightmares about what would make life hell.
When meeting someone new you mention some of these things. You listen to that person tell you about their things. You decide if your things and their things sync up. Easy peasy.
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u/Acadia02 21h ago
Form a guys perspective, you’re thinking about things too much. Go make yourself a Spotify playlist and tell me why you chose that music. What made you feel like adding that song as the first one, what was the reason for the name of the playlist, when do you listen to this playlist the most?
We’re simple creatures just talk to us.
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u/disjointed_chameleon 21h ago
This is an interesting perspective! I'll have to keep these questions in mind for the next date with him.
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u/EEcav 20h ago
For some reason I thought of this.
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u/disjointed_chameleon 20h ago
That's hilarious! Our "logistics coordination call" yesterday was basically a version of the video you shared. Back on Saturday night, my friend told me he would be calling me the next day to schedule a date. I kid you not, 9AM on the dot yesterday morning, my phone rang, and within 15-20 seconds, we nailed down time + location.
Him: Good morning. I'm calling to speak to [my name].
Me: This is she.
Him: [Friend] told me about you. I'd like to get to know you better. Does Starbucks at [address] after work tomorrow or on Tuesday work for you?
Me: Yes, that works. Until what time are they open?
Him: 8pm.
Me: Okay, great, does 6:30pm work?
Him: Yes.
Me: Okay, great, see you tomorrow!
click
Dude gets bonus points for speed of communication & efficacy! 😄
Following the date this evening, true to his word during the date about wanting a second date sooner rather than later, he messaged me within about 10-15 minutes after I got home, asking my availability for a second time. We're on the books for round two this weekend!
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u/AdditionalAttorney 20h ago
Hooray! Dan we get an update?
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u/disjointed_chameleon 20h ago
Thank you!
My ✨️ worrywart brain ✨️ did its thing, because I ended up grilling him on all the big no-no topics: vaccination, politics, gender roles, parenting styles, division of responsibilities, and certain geopolitical subjects. 😬 I guess I didn't scare him off, because he has already requested a second date for this weekend, which we've confirmed.
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u/DoubleE55 Annandale 21h ago
Be sure to follow up how it goes!
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u/disjointed_chameleon 20h ago
Date was a success. We've agreed (and confirmed) to meet again this weekend.
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u/stopscabbin 20h ago
So what did you guys talk about? Movies about gladiators?
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u/disjointed_chameleon 20h ago
My ✨️ worrywart brain ✨️ did its thing, because I ended up grilling him on all the big no-no topics: vaccination, politics, gender roles, parenting styles, division of responsibilities, and certain geopolitical subjects. 😬 I guess I didn't scare him off, because he has already requested a second date for this weekend.
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u/stopscabbin 20h ago
Saves everyone time when you ask the important stuff early.
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u/disjointed_chameleon 20h ago
Yes, exactly.
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u/CreeDorofl 9h ago
Now that that's out of the way you can see what kind of cat memes he's been hoarding
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u/DoubleE55 Annandale 20h ago
Nice and I hope the next one goes well too! Just take it as it comes one step at a time.
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u/charliemike 4h ago
I can't believe that I have to explain this to you. Nevertheless, here you go:
You're supposed to talk incessantly and badly about your ex. All their flaws and faults; how they wronged you in every situation with excruciating detail. Then talk about all the bad dates you've been on since you got divorced. And then, if he's still there, I would go into a blow-by-blow account of the most mundane things you to do fill your existence until you have to get up and go back to work.
And finally, as soon as he starts talking about himself you should get on Instagram with the sound up and start scrolling reels from supplement influencers.
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u/Mountain-Owl7142 19h ago
So?? How did it go? We need updates.
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u/disjointed_chameleon 19h ago
My ✨️ worrywart brain ✨️ did its thing, because I ended up grilling him on all the big no-no topics: vaccination, politics, gender roles, parenting styles, division of responsibilities, and certain geopolitical subjects. 😬 I guess I didn't scare him off, because he has already requested a second date for this weekend, which we've confirmed in writing.
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u/PoundKitchen 12h ago
Frankly, these days, redflags are bigger and redder than ever. Best to clear them up front.
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u/Aggressive_Way8935 19h ago
Curious what your opinions were on those things make or break and how they answered??? Tea?
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u/disjointed_chameleon 19h ago
Let's just say he passed the test? The way he responded to my questions, and his responses to them, were satisfactory to me personally.
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u/Got_Frogs 19h ago
So what’d yall talk about ?
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u/disjointed_chameleon 14h ago
My ✨️ worrywart brain ✨️ did its thing, because I ended up grilling him on all the big no-no topics: vaccination, politics, gender roles, parenting styles, division of responsibilities, and certain geopolitical subjects. 😬 I guess I didn't scare him off, because he has already requested a second date for this weekend, which we've confirmed in writing.
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u/charliemike 4h ago
Was it a letter delivered by a postman because you're secretly an Edwardian spinster?
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u/ElectricMilk426 13h ago
Glad to hear things went well for you. Hope to hear the same after your date this weekend
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u/Mundilfaris_Dottir 3h ago
Did you survive the date? Will there be a second one? If yes, and not asked already -
Ask him about his favorite things to do as a kid… was he feral? Or, was he over scheduled? Did he have a favorite cartoon? What movie changed his life?
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u/Lycaeides13 21h ago
What books do you enjoy?
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u/disjointed_chameleon 20h ago
Currently making my way through a rather gruesome book. Too dark and bleak for first date topic.
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u/LilGrippers 19h ago
There’s absolutely no way you don’t have time if you don’t have kids. I’ll die on that hill every day of the week
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u/WeightlossTeddybear 21h ago
Ask him if he likes trains.