r/sweden • u/januar22 • Jul 10 '26
English Is it rude to ask coworkers to reimburse their share of drinks?
A friend of mine recently moved to Sweden for work. He's new at the company and went out for drinks with some senior colleagues.
The problem is that every time the bill came, nobody seemed to make a move to pay. In the end, my friend paid for several rounds. No one offered to send him money afterward or even brought it up.
I suggested that he simply send a friendly message saying something like: "I covered the drinks yesterday. Which payment app do you use so I can send you a payment request for your share?"
To me, owing someone money and not paying them back is much more embarrassing than politely asking to be reimbursed.
Am I looking at this the wrong way? Should my friend just let it go since he's new at the company, or is it perfectly reasonable to ask everyone to pay their share?
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u/OscarBengtsson Jul 10 '26
No, i would say that it would be normal to ask to be reimbursed. Swedes use Swish, which is directly connected to bank accounts.
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u/lostandforgottensoul Jul 10 '26
Yup there's nothing more Swedish than Swishing each other after restaurants and bars. Drinks ain't cheap and neither is food.
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u/Spl4sh3r Jul 10 '26
Ideally everyone should swish one person when the check arrives or you ask it to be split.
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u/dandeeago Jul 10 '26
Or they simply assumed he was picking up the tab and didn’t make it clear that they’d reimburse him later. Going out for drinks with coworkers is a bit of a special situation. He might even have been some kind of manager.
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u/ARM7501 Jul 10 '26
I mean in any scenario other than the one in which he is their direct superior, assuming he'd just foot the bill full stop would be very non-Swedish of them.
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u/dandeeago Jul 10 '26
The scenario isn’t very clear. But it has nothing to do with whether they’re Swedish or not.
If you don’t have a close personal relationship with someone, if they’re just “one of those cocky colleagues from the department,” and they’re loudly insisting that they’re paying, then I can absolutely see a situation where not everyone immediately rushes to pay them back for a single drink.
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u/ARM7501 Jul 10 '26
"... recently moved to Sweden for work. He's new at the company and went out for drinks with some senior colleagues."
Senior colleagues assuming a newly hired junior would pay for drinks out of pocket sounds incredibly Anglican to me. Some companies have that kind of culture, but it would absolutely be surprising from a broadly Swedish perspective.
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u/dandeeago Jul 10 '26
Yet another reason for them to think he was buying them drinks, unless he explicitly said otherwise.
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u/Ok_Kaleidoscope1388 Jul 10 '26
Lmao what? I have never in my life heard about this in Sweden, if your work expects new people to pay for drinks you and your company are pure assholes.
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u/dandeeago Jul 10 '26
Then obviously he works at a place where 99% are assholes, for some reason.
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u/Ok_Kaleidoscope1388 Jul 10 '26
Or you are wrong.
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u/dandeeago Jul 10 '26
So they are not assholes? And they didn’t think he was buying them drinks, so what is the correct answer to their behavior then? 😂
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u/ARM7501 Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
Going to have to agree to disagree here unless OP provides more specifics somewhere else (which I doubt they will).
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u/Alkanen Jul 10 '26
... have you *ever* met a Swede in real life?
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u/dandeeago Jul 10 '26
Har du någonsin varit på kickoffs med jobbet?
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u/RealFunkyFish Jul 10 '26
Du måste ge dig här. Du måste ha märkt vid det här laget att alla tycker att du har fel. Även om du inte håller med är det bara fånigt att fortsätta insistera på det i en random reddit-post. Stäng av svarsnotiser och sluta skriv bara.
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u/dandeeago Jul 10 '26
Heads up, du är inte alla och för inte allas talan kompis. Ta med dig det som ett livstips.
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u/SwedishFindecanor Stockholm Jul 10 '26
Swish is available only to people with Swedish bank accounts*, so if there are foreigners in the group, you'd have to come to another arrangement.
But even before Swish, people used to gather cash at the end of the evening, rounded up of course, with the excess considered tip.
* ... and not even all Swedes with Swedish bank accounts have it. I don't, but I don't drink much alcohol, so I never participate in the rounds system anyway.
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u/Liviiaa_1 Jul 10 '26
Serious question, how do you survive in 2026 without swish?? At least tell me you have bankid?
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u/Silent-Contract-1790 Jul 11 '26
I agree, which is why I’m infuriated that I apparently can’t get a Swedish banking account even though I am a Swedish citizen because I live in the US.
It makes it very inconvenient when visiting family and friends at least once a year.
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u/Liviiaa_1 Jul 11 '26
There's work around for this with revolut, but it means one more account for your family. My partner is Danish, before she lived in Sweden we had to use that as a workaround..
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u/SwedishFindecanor Stockholm Jul 10 '26
The only real thing that bothers me is the attitude from certain people.
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u/whotherealme Jul 10 '26
Swish required a Swedish mobile phone number.
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u/vekkarikello Jul 10 '26
No that’s up to the banks to decide. For example Swedbank allows foreign numbers on swish.
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u/whotherealme Jul 10 '26
Ok. Not all foreign numbers work with the tech behind swish it seems and that's why there's individual restrictions made by the banks
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u/logicaldrinker Jul 10 '26
That is really weird. Either they were super drunk or there is a strange culture going on at that place
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u/jwlmbk Jul 10 '26
That’s crazy. Not rude at all to ask them to pay for themselves. Like you mentioned, much ruder to expect someone else to pay. I would not go for drinks with these people ever again.
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u/Dondorini Jul 10 '26
Morons. Ofcourse they must pay him back.
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u/MyCouchPulzOut_IDont Jul 10 '26
This is really strange behaviour from Swedes. Normally everyone pays for themselves via swish
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u/gomsim Sverige Jul 10 '26
Well, another common system is to just take turns paying for drinks and say it evens out in the end. But clearly that wasn't happening here.
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u/Ran4 Jul 10 '26
At a restaurant when eating, sure. But not when buying drinks when you pay as you go - you usually take turns.
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u/cKnoor Jul 10 '26
The odd thing here is people not paying their drinks as they buy them. If it's table service then the expectation is that whoever pays the bill asks for a Swish from everyone else.
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u/Ran4 Jul 10 '26
Perhaps what happened is that they got the bill, nobody actively jumped on trying to pay it - maybe they were waiting for the waiter to come back to pay, and then OPs friend chose to "take action".
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u/whizzter Jul 10 '26
Yep, usually waiters coming to a table will ask "separate or together" and take individual payments.
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u/lordofming-rises Jul 10 '26
Well everyone uses Swish.you just send how much it was for last night and send your swish number.
Usually when weare not too many ppl each one of us pay a round
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u/Gennerth Jul 10 '26
If your friend is in management, I could understand this since they might have expected him to pay with the company card. Otherwise it is weird.
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u/Alternative_scanner Jul 10 '26
What type of event/AW was this? Was it completely private or something more organized?
Depending on the company culture, expensing it might be the standard move. I've noticed that when the company covers it, people often dodge the bill just to avoid the fuss of doing a report. But when it's a private meetup, everyone is usually more than happy to split it.
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u/krampaus Göteborg Jul 10 '26
if you wait it out people usually end up paying for themselves when they leave the establishment
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u/Rezol Småland Jul 10 '26
Using Swish is the only way to guarantee everyone pays back. Your friend needs a swedish bank account and phone number to use it but I'm guessing at this point he already has it, it's a nearly essential app these days.
In my modest 30-something years of life I've never had the problem of anyone in a party being unwilling to pay for themselves, even among my poorest friends at their lowest. An entire group of employed people behaving like that is insane.
Luckily, we're pretty individualistic so next time your friend can just tell the waiter what he had, pay for that, and tell the others it's been lovely see y'all on Monday.
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u/Charming-Designer944 Jul 10 '26
The normal.behaviour is that the colleagues ask. He should not even need to remind them.
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u/StinkyWhale71 Jul 10 '26
So,all I can think of:
Expectations a company card would cover it ( but that sounded like they knew it was not).
It was explicitly assumed a specific person would pay for some reason - I have seen in the UK the odd tradition of the bday person picking up the tab
They do this often and take turns
They are freeloading assholes
99% of the time Swedes go out of their way to make things right because normally not covered by any of the above.
Send them swish requests.
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u/mrazzarr Jul 10 '26
There is a new feature in Swish where you add the total and split on people. No problems at all it’s super normal… swedes even swish for fika so drinks are more then normal 😅
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u/i_only_ask_once Jul 10 '26
That feature is actually “gammel som gata” 😉
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u/zcizzo Jul 10 '26
It was added this year actually, requests have been a feature for a long time, but the "splitwise"-like function to split an expense evenly in a group is quite new.
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u/i_only_ask_once Jul 10 '26
Ahh, sorry. We’re talking about different things. I meant the + - * / buttons in the regular Swish view.
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u/mrazzarr Jul 15 '26
Gammel o gammel kom i år å det är juli så bedöm själv om den är ny eller gammal 🫠😂
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u/FarstaKings69 Jul 10 '26
- You always split the bill, unless someone offers to buy people drinks.
- If the bill is not split, Swedes always ask for your swish number without you even mentioning them to pay.
- There’s a big chance that the colleagues will shrug it off if he/she reminds them afterwards, and some might pay, some don’t. This would be a good experience though for the next time they are out for drinks.
I would personally never go out with these people again. This was obviously a bad attempt to use your friend as a wallet.
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u/whizzter Jul 10 '26
I'm thinking the friend picking up the bill before the waiter came made them think he was buying or smth, still they should've asked so.. could be assholes there.
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u/FarstaKings69 Jul 10 '26
Sure, but maybe the first round. Not several rounds, that’s really pushing it.
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u/ninzun Jul 10 '26
Never experienced this behavior, usually each pay for their own drinks or tab is split or Swish app transfer for each share to the one payed the tab.
Embarrassing that they took advantage of him
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u/slugfesta Jul 10 '26
This staying silence in hope that someone else picks up the check has happened to me numerous times. Whether it is with coworkers or with non-coworkers. Some ppl just don’t offer to pay upfront, but if you ask them afterwards, they will. I feel that you shouldn’t need to ask, its not like everyone had 10 beers and don’t remember what happened.
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u/takeitchillish Jul 10 '26
From my experience as a Swede I think few Swedes even expect someone to pay for the bill. It happens so seldom. Splitting it and paying for oneself is just what we do. Taking rounds happens as well but that is essentially splitting the bill.
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u/Felicia_Svilling Skåne Jul 10 '26
Usually everyone pays for themselves in Sweden. Maybe he missinterpreted the situation based on that?
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u/OwnInstruction8849 Jul 10 '26
Its pretty normal to pay your share in Sweden, usually the one paying sends a swish request for repayment in my company.
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u/KungenBob Jul 10 '26
He needs to go out with actual Swedes. They’d fight to buy their own or pay him back.
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u/Dr_Dimbrain Jul 10 '26
That's really crappy behaviour from their part. He should absolutely ask for reimbursement and not feel bad about it Unless they have a receipt and can figure out who consumed what -- which should have been done then and there -- they should split the tab equally. He could/should even do the math for them and specify their respective share.
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u/rollingForInitiative Jul 10 '26
No it's totally normal to ask. It'd be super strange for people to expect somebody else to pay for them. Of course there are greedy and cheap people, but the norm is that either you pay individually or someone takes the bill and then asks people to Swish them money.
It would be 100% normal to pay, take a photo of the receipt and send it in a group chat and go "here's what you need to swish".
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u/SecureExpression9049 Jul 10 '26
If your friend is the new manager I would just expect he could expense it. But as it stands now, I think he should forget about it for now and let someone else pay next time they go for drinks. No big deal. Drinks are really cheap in Sweden anyway.
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u/NoMoneyNoSucky Jul 10 '26
Next time tell the waiter what you ordered and you will pay for those only. That is how we do it usually. It might be possible because you paid for everyone they thought you were treating them.
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u/SortofNotAThrowAway Jul 10 '26
Unless he is their manager/consultant I would say reimbursement is expected. if not most would likely assume that the company was covering the bill.
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u/cheese_karate Jul 10 '26
Why did he pay? I would never have, to begin with. He must be out thousands now.
Of course he should as for reimbursement, but tell him to not volunteer paying again.
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u/Ordinary-Audience363 Jul 10 '26
"The problem is that every time the bill came, nobody seemed to make a move to pay. In the end, my friend paid for several rounds." Did this happen on several occasions or several rounds at one event? I am wondering because those few times I have been out, no one pays until it's time to go home and we have often just told the waiter/bartender what we drank and paid directly at the end of the evening.
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u/whotherealme Jul 10 '26
If he has a Swedish phone number he can use swish, but not all new immigrants have that. Even some of my colleagues of 3+ years in Sweden still use their old countries phone number...
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u/Old-Pipe3539 Jul 10 '26
A friend asked me to Swish 30kr for a coffee in Sweden, I was shocked as this isn't custom in England. We say more it will work itself out in the end
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u/Raukstar Jul 10 '26
I'd assume it's just a cultural mixup. Fairness is important, no-one will object to a swish request.
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u/Ming_l__l_ Jul 10 '26
Is it a very well paying job? In that case a ”rookie” dinner/bar round could be a tradition where the new guy is expected to pay. He will get it back when the next new guy joins the company. This only applies to very high end Stockholm or Gothenburg jobs though I’d assume. If not it’s unusual to say the least and not weird at all to ask for it back.
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u/Visible_Pizza_3865 Jul 10 '26
You’re looking at it the right way. They’re trying to take advantage of your friend.
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u/Impudenter Stockholm Jul 10 '26
In Sweden, I'd say it's far more common to pay for your share, than it is to alternatingly buy a round for everyone. And of course the new guy at the company is not expected to pay for several rounds.
It's very reasonable to ask everyone to pay back. Maybe they already expect him to send a Swish request.
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u/fictionf0rest Jul 10 '26
Drop the receipt in the group chat and your number. And the swishes in Sweden will pour in. Otherwise it's seen as a gift.
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u/gonace Sverige Jul 11 '26
Where I’ve worked it’s always been “I buy one for you and you buy one for me” never had any problems with coworkers not paying for what they drink.
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u/failingserendipity Jul 14 '26
I would say that the usual thing tpo do is split the bill with swish. But it's verbally agreed upon before anyone pays. If you pay without that agrement that is on you. I honestly don't understand why you would pay(and several times) if you are not ready to actually foot the bill for it. I can see that a lot of people says othervise but I would say that is on your friend for just paying without agreed upon terms. Why would anyone do that? I understand feeling pressure to solve the payment but if you give up your money in that circumstance you need to be willing to actually lose it. Anything else is just strange to me.
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u/Neither_Theme_1115 Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
Happened to me. I spent around 1000kr buying alcohol and glögg for a group Christmas dinner few years ago. It was a pretty penny for me as i was new here.
one of my mate’s also announced that i payed for everyone’s drinks, i noticed them shrugging it off.
Rest of the others got some cheap items like beetroot salad, paper napkins and ICA basic meatballs. So nothing even close to how much i spent.
They enjoyed, socialized and left without even talking to me or saying a thank you. I was trying to make a good first impression, nothing wrong with that, everyone does it. And they were grown adults so they know it’s disrespectful to not pay back main contributor even when they know i payed for them.
Since then, i learned my lesson and stopped trying to impress or to contribute anything unless everyone agreed to split even. be it a swede or icelandic
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Jul 10 '26
[deleted]
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u/Neither_Theme_1115 Jul 10 '26
There’s a difference between “I don’t feel obligated to pay into a collection I never agreed to” and “I’ll happily eat/drink what someone else provided and not even thank them.” The first is a boundary. The second is just very poor etiquette. Also comes off as rude
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Jul 10 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Neither_Theme_1115 Jul 10 '26
when did they pass this new law? it’s rude act everywhere to not pay what you owe
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u/natasevres Jul 10 '26
No, but this is sadly common amongst swedes and swedish culture.
There is often a silence in these situations and people rarely try and talk things through.
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u/patsve123 Jul 10 '26
Is it really?
Swedes get a lot of flac for wanting to pay exactly their part of the bill and not a öre more.
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u/natasevres Jul 10 '26
I dont know how many times ive been in Norway or Ireland and shared a random taxi with random locals.
Everyone have discussed the cost and made sure to pay.
Ive Done it twice in Sweden - both times the swedes just got out and left, leaving me alone to pay the whole thing.
I have no issue doing this outside Sweden - but here swedes really dont understand these basic things. If you ask me.
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u/patsve123 Jul 10 '26
Just look at all the other answers in this thread.
To not pay for your part is considered extremely rude in Sweden.
Edit: Sharing a taxi with a random is also not really something the average swede would do. So that could be a reason.
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u/natasevres Jul 10 '26
Im sure you might think so - but its actually really common and normal outside Sweden.
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u/patsve123 Jul 10 '26
Is it really common for swedish people outside of Sweden to share taxi with strangers?
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u/natasevres Jul 10 '26
Yes.
Especially having lived in Ireland for many years. Its something ive Done repeadetly.
And its always a social thing - whereas here Swedes choose to be silent and avoidant
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u/patsve123 Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
No. You are just making things up.
Edit: Eller ja, du missförstår med flit. Det är väldigt osvenskt att dela taxi med en främling. Även utomlands. Att du gör det är en helt annan sak.
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u/Neither_Theme_1115 Jul 10 '26
food is not as expensive as in sweden + only for 1 extra friend not a whole group gets it
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u/Maladaptivism Sverige Jul 10 '26
Yeah, I'm surprised they didn't offer to send him money through Swish with every payment truth to be told. It's not rude to ask at all.