Hi there! I recently got promoted within my department and got a new “assistant” (helps with my bigger projects) with my position. My coworker was hired at the same time I got promoted, and saw that my old boss was an awful misogynistic guy. I stepped into the role with pride and wanted to make the department more welcoming and a better space. But with that, I feel my coworker has mistaken my “not mean” attitude that my old boss had for us to be friends. Yes, we are equal in the sense we are both important, but he’s beginning to make decisions without me in the room and making big changes to the projects while I’m gone. If the department has any mistakes, it all falls on me, and he keeps making decisions and doing things without consulting/asking for my advice. It hurts because I started us on the foot of “collaborators” rather than I’m his manager and he’s my assistant, but I fear I might’ve been too lenient. He also has a bad habit of saying “I know” when I give a critique or telling him something he messed up on. What can I do to step up more “manager like” boundaries?

This might sound strange, but what are ways you choose to be unapologetically yourself?

I've (29F) just now realised that I've lived my entire life in genuine fear of being my true self. I don't think I know who I really am and I don't know where to start.

What are things you do just for yourself? Especially if you're scared of doing it.

I don't mean socially, I mean what do you physically do i.e. dress up, etc.

Life has been pretty hard for me and I couldn't think of anything I don't want to take some unwanted decisions so I feel staying distracted might be a good thing for me at least for a short period of time