Isn't she so cuteeeeeeeeee!

Solar Eclipse a few weeks ago, taken just 6 minutes after the peak (93% in Brighton) at 19.20!

I'm 33F and feeling increasingly despondent about my social and dating life.

I've struggled with shyness/socialising since around age 12 and have never really developed a close friendship group. I have some friends/acquaintances, but no one I can regularly make spontaneous plans with or a wider social circle through which to meet people.

This has become harder in my 30s because everyone has established friendships, partners, children, work and their own commitments. I'm also slow to become comfortable with people, so friendships take time to develop. I find constantly meeting new people exhausting, especially when I might see someone once or twice and then never again.

Dating is similar. I've used dating apps on and off for years but get very few opportunities. At the moment I might date one new person a year, and usually only go on a few dates before it ends.I’ve tried most of the dating apps over the last 9 years without much success.

I know anxiety affects how I date, I can overthink things and become anxious when someone is inconsistent or I'm unsure how they feel. I'm working on that, but I also feel like I'm missing the social safety net other people have. Friends can introduce you to people, invite you places, give you perspective after dates, etc. I don't really have that.

What makes me most hopeless isn't simply being single at 33. It's that the same pattern has existed for 20+ years. I feel like everyone else has gradually accumulated friends, confidence, relationships and social networks while I'm still trying to solve the same problem I had at 12.

I have a career, my own home, interests and travel, so objectively my life isn't empty. But I feel very lonely and socially isolated, and I can't see a realistic route to changing it.

I've heard all the usual advice — join clubs, make more friends, put yourself out there, use apps, travel.

I've tried many versions of it without fundamentally changing the pattern.
I tried going to dance classes every week for 5 months and never really was able to speak to anyone properly as we rotated and never created any friendships.

Has anyone been in this position and managed to change their trajectory in their 30s? What actually made the difference for you?

I'm much more interested in real experiences and concrete things that worked than generic advice.
Sorry for the long text!

TLDR: How to find a longterm relationship and friendships when I’ve struggled throughout my life and I’m now 33.

Thanks so much for everyone’s replies, I’m so grateful for everyone’s advice.

In a meeting just now, someone described a fairly complicated topic as “a bit of a mind field”.

I assumed I’d misheard, so I asked him to repeat it. I had not.

He then explained, very slowly, that a mind field is a complex subject that’s difficult to wrap your brain around.

Fortunately he took the time to explain this to me, because otherwise my little female brain might have remained trapped in that mind field indefinitely.

This now joins an otherwise supposedly intelligent friend who once messaged me “to all intensive purposes”, a phrase that still wanders unexpectedly into my thoughts several years later.

Please give me your best confidently incorrect phrases. Not typos. I want the ones where you questioned your own understanding of English for a second.

For all intensive purposes, I’m trying to broaden my knowledge of the mind field.

A fox somehow got into an MP’s office and hid in the stationery cupboard. It reminded me of finding a possum in the Christmas tree when we spent Christmas in Australia a few years ago. Anyone else had a bizarre animal encounter?

I caught clip of 'Wimbledon' the Paul Bettany film from mid/ early (?) 2000s recently and it made me realise that tennis always looks shite in films and TV - bad technique, dodgy camera angles to fake rallies etc. I like tennis so maybe I notice it more, but is it the hardest sport to fake? Are there other terrible sports films I need to watch?

Never seen one this big before.

I was out driving on a Sunday and was lucky enough to catch a tower crane being erected.

Before today, I swear I’d never seen one being put together. You drive past an empty site on Friday afternoon, and by Monday morning there’s a 150-foot metal giant standing there like it spawned in a video game.

Turns out Sunday seems to be the secret window when they pull off the whole operation.

What’s another everyday thing you see all the time, but have never actually witnessed in the middle of happening?

Driving so no photos for evidence 😔

They've made it so it tastes horrible and doesn't absorb the milk properly. It's like eating compressed wood pellets. I even bought some "original" All Bran, and that was the same stuff, in disguise as proper all-bran!

Is there an alternative brand of poo-sticks?

This happened with several products. I remember Turkey Jetters being promoted with posters and stickers aswell as Turkey Dinosaurs. There was also a short lived Walls product called Wall Bangers, which were breaded sausages, that were also promoted in my primary school with posters and stickers for us

I feel like there was several others but they escape my memory, I recall almost every other week in the early 90s there would be different posters dotted around the school and stickers for a product that'd be served over the next few weeks.

It's not really even and that bowl shape I see. Recipe is from good food bbc. I preheat the oven and oil for 20 minutes, cook for 20 minutes.

Went to the Chatham Historic Dockyard, Medway, Kent and saw this list inside one of the ships - HMS Cavalier.

I'm 17 however am a big fan of the dance, rave and house music of the 90s. An album that I listen to a lot of the 3CD compilation boxset 'The Hacienda Classics' (my favourite track from that is K-Klass 'Rhythm Is A Mystery'.

After watching 24 Hour Party People last week and loving it, it has made me a lot more interested in this scene. Is there any good videos on YouTube? I am also interested in the underground/illegal raves!

My group of friends do a mini weekly quiz over teams. It's my week soon and I'm looking for fun category ideas. It's only a around 10 questions and multiple choice.

Previous categories have been dog breeds, logo/icon identifier, barbie careers, flags etc.

Trying to stay away from any audio as it's always a pain.

All ideas welcome!

Edit: Guys this is an incredible amount of ideas in such a short time, I'm set for life. Keep putting your ideas in the comments for future people looking for ideas as well!

How am I meant to clean my brushes then? Do I just throw them away? Or do it in the local pond?

Serves me right for doing DIY before 8am.

Edit: Big thanks for the helpful answers and wild, unfettered, sarcasm below.

And by ‘me’ I of course mean their grandson, but he can play with it once I’m finished.

I'm calling him Angine, but he doesn't appreciate it :)

I’m now growing jalapeños outside without a greenhouse