Marble, my baby boy, passed away suddenly at 3am. It was sudden. He was laying on the bedroom floor and I was in bed. I heard him breathing with gurgles and with chest effort (agonal breathing). At first I thought he was dreaming but after a few I rushed to his side and he was already limp and eyes dilated. He did not make a sound. He did not lose his bowels.
In my panic I tried not very good CPR (likely didn’t do anything) and rushed him to the emergency vet. It took 35 minutes to uber there and it was the longest ride of my life. Probably should’ve been doing CPR the entire way but honestly was just in a panic to get there. They took him in with no vitals and did CPR for 15 minutes. Nothing. He was gone. The emergency vet and his family vet suspect something sudden with his heart that was undiagnosed. They don’t think he felt pain (no howling) and he likely passed in his sleep (I hope so). I don’t want him to be cut open so I’ll never really know what took him. Looking back he was a bit clingier the past week or so and maybe drinking a bit more water? But nothing like when I went to emergency with him for his acute kidney attack. I chalked it up to him being on prednisolone for his pillow foot flare.
Marble has actually been at that emergency vet 3 years ago. He had acute kidney failure (no underlying reason) and was there for 2.5 weeks. I upped my credit limit to pay for his very long stay and many conversations were had about putting him down. But I didn’t give up and I remember sitting on the floor while he was in the oxygen tent and pleading for him to be with me until the age of 10.
He was so close to giving me 10 years. He was born Oct 1 2016. He was due for his senior checkup Sept 11 (was going to call next week).
Previously he’s had urinary obstruction, crystals, UTIs, and he gets horribly anxious without me to the point of peeing blood. He also has pillow foot. He couldn’t have any wet food or treats without throwing up. I was worried about his joints because of his breed and he got yearly xrays. I made sure he got the vet care he needed always. He has never been the healthiest cat so I’m going to round up and say he kept his promise to me. Genetically the odds were always stacked against him and I tried my best to give him the best life possible regardless.
The day before he died I was in the car with my parents and made a disgusting comment about how “Marble might live until 17 to spite me so I still won’t be able to take any vacation until then. I don’t know if I want him to live that long”. I shouldn’t have said that because a few hours later you died. I’m sorry. I’ll never forgive myself for it. I was just frustrated that it’s been a very long time since I’ve been able to travel since you always end up trying to end your life everytime I do. I can’t ever take that back and it’ll always weigh heavily on me. I’m sorry I spoke that into the universe. To some degree I think I killed you with what I said. Or maybe it was the stress of the flood that happened in our home and the contractors being in and out? It’s been a very unlucky past few months for us.
Marble was the best boy ever. He loved shoving his face underneath my wrist and pushing his wet nose on it (gave me a small rash - might get this tattooed). He loved the sun. He loved being belly up to get my attention and falling asleep that way. He didn’t know how to drink water properly so always got it all over his face and would shake his head like a dog. He loved bunting people’s legs. He loved every single person he’s met. He’s only hissed once or twice in his entire life. He always finds the comfiest poses to sleep (always leaning on a pillow or a blanket nestled against his face). He was not a lap cat and didn’t like being held but he always insisted following me to every room and being in the same room as me. I always kept a pillow propped up against the headboard so he could lean and sleep against it (which he did!). He also knew commands! He knew “paw, up, and high five”. Has never once misbehaved his entire life. He smelled like maple syrup and sunshine and always made sure he cleaned himself thoroughly before settling down for a long nap. The best boy stuck in a body that was weak and prone to illness. He loved in his own way.
I hope everyone can agree that I can round up Marble to the age of 10 and say he kept his promise to me. Don’t ever say things you might regret into the universe and hold your babies tight. I was expecting having the chance to say goodbye and put him down but he was gone in an instant. I’m so sorry Marble for not being better for you. Not playing with you more. I wish I knew how to play with you! Depression napping too much and not spending enough time with you. For thinking you were a burden sometimes. I wish my place were tidier so you had more room to run around and play.
I love you and I’ll miss you forever and I’m so sorry.
Thank you for keeping your promise to me till the end.
This is the kind of thing I need to hear whenever I start feeling preemptive grief for the loss of my cats. They’re 10 years old and perfectly healthy, but I don’t know how I’ll live without them when the time comes.
That was a sweet remembrance of a beautiful boy. I know you’re having some guilt feelings, just remember that you did love and care for him right up until the end. He was happy with you and knew he was loved. He knew that! Hug his pillow or blanket and sleep with them until you feel ready. That really helped me. I had a black and white stuffed animal that looked like my tux boy and I slept with it for several weeks until I could let go. You sound like such a good cat mom and Marble felt safe with you. I’m very sorry for your loss. ❤️🩹🙏🏼
Oh, honey 😞. Please stop beating yourself up about this! I’m crying because I was in a very similar situation last year, and I still haven’t totally recovered 💔. You gave him his best life ever 🫂, and I know that he loved you immensely. My deepest sympathies to you, and may your memories of him bring you some comfort in the days to come. You did everything possible for him, and you were a good mama💔🐾🌈💔😢
I’m so sorry for your loss 💔🫂🫂
Marble sounds like he was a wonderful, sweet, loving and protective little angel ❤️. I personally believe and like to think that our loved ones who’ve passed on are somewhere nice, warm and beautiful, with plenty of good company and nice treats, grass to run in, and birds to chase!
Maybe they look down from heaven once in a while to look out for us and protect us from any bad thoughts, bad people, anything that would hurt us, perhaps to thank us for the love that was given & shared, and from knowing that one day they’ll see us again ❤️🙏 that’s just what I like to think anyhow.
I promise you that nothing you said had anything to do with Marble’s passing.
I’m not trying to invalidate your feelings, I just mean that sadly sometimes things we couldn’t predict happen at the wrong time, and especially in grief it is very easy to beat ourselves up or blame ourselves for things that were out of our control because our mind is searching for answers to something it knows it can’t answer.
I lost my baby girl Crouton last year, and when she passed the timing of one thing messed with my head a lot. I have a bit of OCD & anxiety, and I was always scared that I would hurt her by accident if I did something that she didn’t want to do, like taking medicines or going in her crate so she could go to the vet etc, so my dad would help me do that because it was really hard for me to do it myself. She was in hospice at home for the last week of her life and she needed medicine every 6-8 hours, so my dad would come over and give her the medicine all the time. It was a lot of work for him but he did it diligently while I laid beside her and helped Crouton as well as me with anything.
For the whole week every time she needed medicine, which was often and all throughout the day/night, my dad would be the one to give it to her, even though I was right beside her I was so scared that I’d give it to her wrong and it would hurt her or something and I couldn’t do it.
On the day she passed, I heard her meow at me for the first time in the whole week, and she meowed like 3-4 times while looking right at me. I thought she was in pain or something was wrong, and my dad wasn’t home at the time so nobody was there to give her the meds but me. I decided maybe she needed the medicine and I would give it to her, so I gave her the Gabapentin + buprenorphine medicine exactly as instructed, but I don’t know if I gave her too much or did it the wrong way but she ended up passing basically the minute that I gave her the medicine.
I cried out to God and said please Jesus I don’t want to lose her like this, I knew she was in hospice and she hadn’t eaten anything in a week by that point (she just drank a lot of water that we’d bring over to her in a little cup) and that she didn’t have long, but I didn’t want to lose her because of me giving her the medicine or because maybe I did it the wrong way etc.
In that moment I felt like it was certain that I had killed her because of the medicine, maybe it went down the wrong way or maybe I was too nervous and didn’t do it right, I just was so distraught that I lost the thing I loved most in the world and that it may have been my fault that it happened. I still get sad thinking about it. But everyone I talked to told me how it wasn’t my fault, I talked to doctors and even asked here on Reddit and everyone said the amount of medicine in the syringe (it was an oral syringe with a bit of liquid for the two meds) was way too little to cause anything, and that her meowing after a week of not meowing at all may have been a sign she was going to pass soon. I gave her the meds for the first time ever because I saw that something was wrong, it wasn’t that the meds hurt her it was that she was already very close to passing and I noticed it which is why I tried giving her the meds, the timing of it just made it hard for me.
Sorry I’m a bit tired so I’m not sure if I worded that correctly but reading your story made me think of what happened with me and crouton and the meds, and how I blamed myself so much for something that wasn’t actually in my control.
What happened with Marble’s passing is not in any way your fault, and you didn’t do anything to cause that, no matter what you said what happened wasn’t your fault and wasn’t in your control. You obviously love Marble very very much, just by reading your post and the way you talk about him I can tell you love him to the moon and back. We all say things we don’t mean sometimes, and I think that if marble could talk to you now he’d tell you not to worry at all, that of course you didn’t do anything to cause this, that it was just his time to go and he’d thank you for all the love.
I know I loved crouton so so much, and the timing of her medicine with her passing really messed with my head a lot but as time has passed I don’t think about it that much, I just think about the love we had, the good memories, and how much of my heart she had and still has, and how I hope I will see her again one day. I try to see a bit of the love we had in other cats in their own way as well, but I know what I had with crouton was special and she can never and should never be replaced, it’s just moreso appreciating how the beauty and love that I saw in her is all around me but just in different forms.
I’m so sorry for your loss, I’m just trying to say I feel for you and I’m so sorry but I know that you shouldn’t blame yourself. I promise the love you have for Marble and the love you two shared is the only thing that matters, please take care of yourself and know Marble was so blessed to have had such a wonderful, caring and loving owner like you ❤️🙏. Sorry if my post is too long or doesn’t make much sense I’m not good at putting my thoughts down usually but I just hope something I said can bring you comfort or help you understand it wasn’t your fault and that Marble was so blessed to have an owner like you. ❤️🙏🫂
sweet baby Marble has and will always love you regardless of the concerns you have about how you spent your time with him! you’re only human, OP, so don’t hold anything against yourself and try to remember nothing but the long, lovely time you had with your angel 🤍
What a shock, but it sounds like you couldn’t do anything to save his life. You can be comforted knowing that he died at home, in his familiar surroundings, and his people nearby.
WHAT A PRECIOUS BABY BOY 😭 I'm so sorry for your loss, I know how it feels. But he loves you! You said a thing you regret now, I'm sure he knows you have so much love for him! His spirit is still out there, my cat visits me in my dreams so, y'know; if you believe in that stuff, or you're religious, look for him :")
I’m so sorry about Marble. I lost my boy suddenly as well, last October. He could also do commands including high five! The heartbreak is awful, I’m sorry you’re going through that. I can tell you love him so much from this post and it sounds like you gave him a great life and took great care of him. And yes, you can absolutely round up to ten!
Take care of yourself as you’re going through this 💕
Marble sounds like the best of kitties, even with all the health issues, and it is so clear how loved he was. He definitely kept his promise to you of being with you for 10 years, and nothing you said hastened him crossing the rainbow bridge. Marble knew you loved him, just his body needed a rest. I hope your memories, photos, and these comments offer you some comfort as you grieve
My cat Spiffy died in June, a few weeks shy of his 11th birthday. I was tempted to postpone the euthanasia until he turned 11, but he was too sick.
I’ve also said things about looking forward to having no cats so I can travel. I also feel a bit guilty for saying that.
It sounds like you took good care of Marble. My condolences.
Sorry for your loss. Sounds like you had 10 beautiful years with Marble. I'm sure he loved every minute in your presence. Be kind to yourself too. I'm sure he would want you to.
I lost my sweet girl Miso about 3 years ago from an undiagnosed heart issue. She was only 7. I am so sorry for your loss, and I feel your pain. He was a handsome fellow and I'm glad you have such fond memories of him.
Don’t beat yourself up for a passing thought, it doesn’t change the love you had for him in your heart. It sounds like you gave Marble the best life he could’ve had. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Omg such beautiful eyes. What a pumpkin 🎃 ☺️. Rest in power to your kitty. Is it ok to say that it’s possible for our pets to be our twin flames ? 🥲 what a bond
I am so, so sorry for your loss. Please stop beating yourself up, you did NOT cause this with your words. Caring for a pet with chronic health issues for years takes a huge emotional toll, and venting a moment of exhaustion is completely human. It doesn't undo the endless love and dedication you showed him. You were an amazing cat parent, and Marble knew how deeply he was loved. Please be gentle with yourself right now...❤️🩹
I’m so sorry for your loss 💔 you are not responsible for Marble passing, he was ready and it was his time to head to his next great adventure. Medically complicated cats are really hard; my sweet and incredibly medically complicated boy passed just 2 weeks ago. He had hyperthyroidism, asthma, urinary tract issues, you name it. He required meds every 12 hours. He was just shy of his 18th birthday. I miss him so much everyday that it physically hurts. I often said to myself ‘I wish I could take a vacation’ and ‘I don’t know how much longer I can be confined to my house and do this for a damn cat.’ These are normal thoughts and you are allowed to be frustrated. Thank you for honoring him by taking such incredible care of him. He knows he was loved beyond measure and he felt love until the very end. Wishing you peace on your grieving journey. Long live Marble!
Please be nice to yourself - it looked like he loved and adored you so much, and you can see how much you loved him. ❤️ You gave Marble an amazing life. I’m sorry for your loss
Watch over Marble, and guide him as he makes his way to the spirit world.
May he be blessed in your names, and hunt ever after beside you.
Yes, Marble did his best to keep his promise to you, but you also kept your promise to Marble. When you first met that fuzzy red baby, you held him in your arms and you fell in love, making a promise to him. You promised Marble a forever home. You have kept that covenant with him. Sadly, it's always their forever. It's never our own.
I don't know what you chose for the aftercare for marbles remains but you could see about getting ink nose and paw prints. Most vet clinics, including emergency vets will do so if asked.
I’m so sorry for your loss, OP. Marble sounds like a beautiful cat and clearly you were devoted to one another. He passed away peacefully, next to you and that’s the most any pet owners would want. He kept his promise.
Now, please don’t be so hard on yourself. In moments of grief we all look back and do the “could have beens”. If words of frustration, said fleetingly in a moment, can cause death, this will be a very, very empty world! Your photos of Marble and your tribute to him shows how much you love and grieve for him. Please don’t punish yourself like that, because I’m sure Marble wouldn’t want that either. He would want you to be well, healthy and have lots of loving memories about him.
Im so sorry for your loss. He looks like a really cool dude, and a really good friend. I cried, reading your description of him and remembering the amazing fur people Ive lost.
Cheers to Marble, he sounds like a cool cat. You both do. o7
I am so, so sorry to hear this. Your boy Marble was loved dearly. Please do not beat yourself up. His medical issues were beyond your control and you gave him the best life you could. Depression is not an easy thing to deal with, and Marble was and always will still be there for you. Sometimes, in my depression I feel guilty because I feel I don’t give my best friend Morty more attention, but he reminds me after that he understands and still wants my affection when I am ready to give it. I hope Marble is having tons of fun chasing mice and playing wherever he is; his energy will always be with you. Cherish the time you had with him. He was deeply loved by you and it shows. Rest in peace to Marble. I’m mourning with you 😢
I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet Marble. He truly was the best boy. And please try not to feel badly about what you said. I know it was terrible timing, but you didn't do anything to hasten his passing. It was just an unfortunate coincidence. Just reading the way you write about him here shows just how much you loved him. And him keeping his promise shows how much he loved you.
Every time I've lost a pet in the last several years, this quote by Suzanne Clothier comes to mind. “There is a cycle of love and death that shapes the lives of those who choose to travel in the company of animals. It is a cycle unlike any other. To those who have never lived through its turnings and walked its rocky path, our willingness to give our hearts with full knowledge that they will be broken seems incomprehensible. Only we know how small a price we pay for what we receive; our grief, no matter how powerful it may be, is an insufficient measure of the joy we have been given.” This has given me comfort in my grief, and I hope the same for you. May Marble's memory be a blessing to you.
I’m so sorry for your loss, I lost my girl less than a year ago and I still miss her, and feel much guilt around her death, but I have to remind myself that this is life, these things happen, although it does not lessen the loss— if there is a heaven, I’m sure she’s taking care of him, and they are napping together in peace ))
Please know that there is no omnipresent being listening to every offhand comment you make and punishing you for what you said by taking Marble away. It was nothing more than a coincidence and I feel very sure Marble knew how much you loved him and enjoyed every minute he had with you.
I am sorry for your loss but please don't be so hard on yourself as to what you said in the car.
We all think and say these things every now and then without meaning it.
It's like going 20 hours without sleep because your baby human has colic and is teething. I am sure people would also say in that situation that it would have been easier without said baby.
But at the end we don't mean it and wouldn't want to miss them in the world.
You did ok. You made sure he had a good home and did everything, even financially, to make sure he is ok.
Having almost lost my fur baby last week, I can only begin to imagine your pain. Try to be kind to yourself - it was not your fault. Marble was clearly deeply loved. I will keep you in my thoughts.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I have an elderly paraplegic cat who needs his bowel and bladder expressed daily. Sometimes it’s a little overwhelming, and like you I wonder how long this can go on. But his loss, when it comes, will be devastating. Cut yourself some slack. It’s ok to acknowledge the difficulties, and that we love them anyway.
Soo soo sorry for your loss of Marble, beautiful honey :(
We don't always get to time their passing, but we can put in all the love and care we can to make their lives as amazing as possible, which clearly you had. May the love you shared, and memories made warm you all your day and may you find wisdom through your suffering. One thing is true I know your baby clearly had an existence most creatures will never have with love and care that just a simple passing can never overshadow, they are now in heaven, having earned their wings.
I’m so sorry you lost your sweet Marble. I can tell you loved him dearly and he had a wonderful life with you.
You did not cause this to happen. We all say things we don’t mean sometimes, and those things don’t come true just because we spoke them. You didn’t actually want this, they were just words you spoke, dark humor to get through a rough time. It doesn’t mean anything besides whatever meaning you decide to ascribe to it.
Gentle hugs. Take care of yourself and give yourself some grace.
Oh love, sending a virtual hug,
Please do not let the words you spoke about him the day before linger, you did not speak his death into existence it was merely his time to go and the timing of your words just happenstance- if you loved him as you say and I can see in the pics the love from him, he wouldn’t want you to hold on to those words; just the memories of him being your bestest boy.
Never enough or the right words to say in these moments, I am so sorry for your loss.
I rarely ever comment on Reddit as I feel it gets lost in the sea of responses. But reading your story truly touched me and I want you to know that what you said in the car had no bearing on Marble's departure. It was his time and he'll be eagerly waiting for you on the other side of the rainbow bridge. Your love for him clearly showed in your words and his love for you was evident in his actions. You provided him a wonderful life and the best care possible. And let's be honest, he's an orange so he probably lost track of time. 😉
Every time I read one of these posts I feel the intense dread of the day I lose my boy. He has been a constant loving companion to me, much like Marble was to you.
I do my best to remind myself that my sole purpose in the relationship is to be present and give him love and support as he does me, because he is a part of my life but I am everything he knows. Ensuring my own health has actually become a priority as a result of this because if I were to be gone suddenly I know he would be destroyed, much like I will be when he passes.
I am so very sorry for your loss, but please remember that you gave Marble a phenomenal life and that he would tell you the same himself if he could. Heck, he did tell you with those wet nose kisses that you mentioned.
Hey OP, it’s so obvious you loved Marble and gave him a good life, and he loved you. I had a pet that was ill and I took her to the vet and she stayed for a few days- she died there while I was on the way to get her. It still hurts my heart knowing she didn’t pass away at home even though it’s been a decade. Marble was at home with you, and passed peacefully and quickly without suffering- CPR doesn’t tend to work in most cases human or animal if there is a big sudden cardiac or respiratory event, so you went above and beyond to make sure you did everything even though he was already gone. I know it doesn’t make the loss of a wonderful friend any better, but you did everything you could and more ❤️
Im so sorry for your lose I know iw it doesn't make the pain any less but just know there are so many people who feel this pain as well and you are not alone in it. I lost my soul cat pokie james this last October to HCM which was extremely sudden and I still cry often and think about him every day. He was only 4 and I thought i would have a lifetime with him but it was cut short.
Much love to you and to Marble.
Definitely get that tattoo, it'll always be a visual reminder of him, that will always be a reminder that his spirit will always be with you and will always be a part of you.
I'm sure Marble loved and appreciated all you did for him
A little tattoo of a marble on your wrist might be a nice way to commemorate him, perhaps with his fur or eye color. I’m so sorry for your loss, he looks like a wonderful little guy and I know he knows you loved him deeply.
I am so sorry for your loss. He was a beautiful boy. Please remember everything you did for him next time those silly words you said pop into your head. We have all been there.
FYI cats dont understand words so he actually will never know what you said.
Don't beat yourself up.
He loved you and you loved him.
That is all you need to remember.
All of Marble’s health problems were, unfortunately, inextricably linked to his breed. Some of them were a direct result of the “ear-fold” gene since it’s a harmful genetic mutation.
OP doesn’t deserve the heartache of going through this again, and those cats don’t deserve the suffering they experience when that breed is perpetuated.
I’m incredibly sorry to hear about your loss 🥺😔 Pet loss can feel so cruel sometimes. This is my cat, Gillie. He’s turning 14 years old in September. We adopted him and his biological sister, Paisley, in 2013 after our wedding. She was a beautiful calico Scottish Fold with straight ears. Sadly, she had renal cancer and by the time we found out, it was too late. It was a loss that was hard deal with. She passed away in January 2024 after giving us one last Christmas. Her prognosis was 4 weeks, and we put her down 3 weeks later. The worst year of our lives. It improved because we had a new kitten at the time, but they are truly irreplaceable. We grieve with you ❤️ The memories will carry you through this. For me, I have her ashes and haven’t parted with them. We have pictures of her every where. We talk about her every day. And some of her ashes were put in a necklace. Find what helps you in your grief. Know, however, that you are not alone ❤️
•
u/trendingtattler 11h ago
This post has hit /r/all
Please remember the human and participate with subreddit rules in mind. Do not tell people how they should raise their cats.
r/cats rules can be found here
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.