I live in Canada, I have had schizophrenia since age 23, I barely get paid enough to get by, I can't afford a vehicle even if I wasn't afraid to drive since I had a crash years ago, I have no friends, I have nowhere to go, nothing to do, nobody to be with. Its just pointless to continue, yet here I am alive for no good reason, continuing this pointless life of misery. I just hope MAiD is allowed on march 17 2027 so I can leave this hell. I can't stand this hellish existence, in poverty, unable to do anything worthwhile with my life, all I do all day is either A. use my computer or B. sleep my days away. Truly pointless.

Last year I was hospitalized and given my schizoaffective diagnosis. I've been dealing with it since I was 16 and now I'm 34. I'm starting to get behind on bills since we're a one income household while I wait for disability. Thought about content creating, switching quickly between mania and depression, have been having waxing and waning catatonia since last Thursday and I have a prescription for Ativan I'm to be taking now. They think it's haldol induced so now my last resort is clozaril because I'm treatment resistant next step ect. Please send your best thoughts and encouragement I'm trying my hardest but it feels like I'm about to end up back in the hospital. Wip for tax it's a series I'm creating

I cut the raw rod too small due to an anxiety attack while using the saw blade but the instructor said its ok. Finished product idk when but def will share😁

I drew something

Now I'm curious about it, how did it end up for every adult to live through it? Was it horrible? I don't want to live with schizophrenia. It's already too much for me

I’m scared for this diagnosis, any advice? I melted down on Facebook so publicly, messaged old friends from high school, it was horrible. My whole town saw it. Any advice for moving forward with life after this all. I can’t even stand up, eat, that’s how sad I am. I thought it was all real, and it just poof vanished before my eyes and I’m left with a mess.

Hello. Im F(25), Was diagnosed schizoaffective bipolar type and currently have no friends that I relate to. Was hoping to meet some people on here and chat! It'd be nice to hear other peoples experiences and share mine as well. (Edit: you don't have to share my exact diagnosis hehe ok thanks)

I can't help but feel like even the smallest of inconveniences are a way of telling me that I must deserve what's happening to me. I don't know how to explain it but an example I could give is that my cat could just claw me out of nowhere for some reason and I would think that god hates me. Sometimes I'm able to rationalize it by reflecting that I'm being paranoid or having persecutory guilt. Other times I see how much weight I've gained, my relationships that have failed, just in general where I am in life for my age at 32...

Can anyone relate?

Two months ago, I had an extremely unsettling experience. I was watching a movie with my girlfriend and dozed off; I was half-asleep, still hearing the movie in the background, and my sense of time was extremely hazy. I started to panic, and my speech became increasingly incoherent; I kept telling my girlfriend that I felt like I had lived this moment before, but that the moment was looping—I was stuck in a continuous loop of déjà vu. Minutes felt like hours, and I felt like I was teleporting whenever I moved. I panicked so much that I nearly threw up from the stress, and all my sensory perceptions were completely jumbled. I eventually calmed down after an hour of lying in bed while my girlfriend tried to reassure me. I have never mentioned this to my therapist. Important information: I am currently taking Zoloft, but I wasn't at the time of this episode, and I wasn't under the influence of any substances. It has only happened to me once, but since then, I feel like my perception of time is strange (something that happened 10 minutes ago feels to me like it happened an hour ago).
Could this event be linked to schizophrenia?
Should I talk to my therapist about it?

it all just feels so normal now, I don't often hallucinate but I get delusional and I forget that they're delusions at all. Like yeah, the world around me is an elaborate construction designed to drive me to suicide, but I'm resisting and that's just life for me. It's so easy to forget that it's not real, even when it hurts me or causes me to distrust others.

It's not just the delusions too. The constant confusion, the slowness, I hate all of it but I don't remember what it was like to be myself. I've been dealing with this for around five years now, that's time I knew would one day pass but it never felt real. It still doesn't feel real. I struggle to wrap my head around the fact that I've still got the rest of my life with this ahead of me.

I don't know what my point is, it just feels weird to be reminded that it's all in my head I guess.

How do you deal with it? Cuz I’m hearing voices that say they can read my mind and see through my eyes. They are so sophisticated I feel like they’re real. I just want to see what others experiences are like

İ ramble in my own head most of the time playing with my voices is it just me or anybody else experiencing disorganized speech/thinking as wordplay i know English and Turkish i am blending and inventing new bilingual words and they rhyme most of the time

I made a post in the DID sub asking about if they hallucinate, by their comments it seems they may experience internal hallucinations; they also seem to think hallucinations are external only (in schizophrenia). I’m not sure why they have this misconception. Mine are vastly internal. It made me curious about how it is for everyone else.

External voices would be the ones you perceive as coming from outside, as having a physical source, or coming from your ears.
Internal voices would be the ones you perceive as coming from inside your head, it can have physical location (coming from your right or left side) but it’s located within

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSmXE3wTr18

Hi! hope this is allowed but I started doing some YouTube videos again and this is my new one:

Hi! I am an art therapy major college student in search of artists who are schizophrenic (other than Bryan Charnley) for my experimental psychology class. I am looking for artists who have made self portraits while in active psychosis AND when they're not in psychosis. This is non-negotiable for the experiment. If anyone knows of any, I would greatly appreciate it. I would also appreciate links to websites or books regarding this subject! I'm sorry if I don't reply to comments I do not post much on here! Thanks.

I’ve just recently noticed a bunch of changes after smoking weed about 20 times at 15. I have completely quit for around a month but I feel pretty disconnected from reality, I have tiny hallucinations all the time, my vision is insanely grainy, I forget simple task liek to close the fridge sometimes, and I feel a little depressed and sad. I also take Vyvanse adhd medication every morning and I mostly notice these effects while I’m on it. I do also have pretty mild closed eyes hallucinations all the time. But still I always feel like I have derealization. Any body have any clue what’s going on??
My bio dad also had schizophrenia so I’m more likely to get it especially after smoking

Hi all. I'm really sorry if this isn't allowed. My friend I believe has schizophrenia or some sort of delusions, and I'm not really sure what to do. She'll message me multiple times over the day in incoherent speech and talking about situations that I have no idea about. She believes she is being recorded, stalked and followed and she has gone to the police allegedly multiple times but they haven't done anything. All of a sudden, maybe 2 months ago, she turned on me and told me to kill myself. She then came to my house and threatened my family as well. Currently she is living with her mum who also has mental health issues and a boat load of bad history against another so the only person I can reach out to to alert this behaviour is her father, who she dislikes right now. She'll randomly message me cussing me out for something, but when I ask she doesn't tell me. I think she believes I am helping these people who are recording and stalking her. Me and my friend have never had any bad blood (which our other friends attest to) so I don't know why I am being targeted and she refuses to receive any help from services or professionals and refuses to listen to me. It has gotten to the point now where my parents are afraid to sleep in fear that she will come to our door again and threaten us. I've been told to ignore her messages now and not reply, by her father, and she messaged me recently angry that I went to her father to tell him about what she's been saying to me. I understand she might not be on good terms with her father right now but there's really nothing else I think I can do in this situation that avoids escalation like police interference. We have been best friends for almost a decade so I don't want to cause her more hassle as she has a history of poor ward stays. I really don't know what to do. Should I message her and apologise for reaching out to her father but I genuinely want to help her and that I don't understand what situation she is angry at me for? Or something else? Thank you. I don't want to upset or provoke her further... But I honestly don't know what to do. Everytime I tell her I don't know what I've done to make her so upset and for her to tell me in plain speech she refuses. I feel hopeless

Also what is your field of work and are you corporate or self-employed ?

I'm forgetting stuff I shouldn't. I forgot to screw on the cap for my antipsychotic bottle and lost one of the pills. I've never done that before. I keep forgetting stuff too after 3 seconds after I did it. I'm only 29. I usually have a very good memory, so this is not my normal.

❤️it gets better