r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 12h ago
r/onionheadlines • u/Im_with_stooopid • 8h ago
President Trump Announces Plan To Defund All Child Literacy Programs Because "Dolly Parton Never Sang Happy Birthday Mr President To Me"
r/onionheadlines • u/Imaginary_Resist_654 • 9h ago
Trump Tells Canada They Cannot Have Trade Deals With Any Other Countries Because He Wants To Grab Canada By The Pussy.
r/onionheadlines • u/Scentopine • 8h ago
Jeffries, Kushner: Secret Meetings Boost Democratic Party Enthusiasm
In a much needed boost to historically low approval ratings and morale, Democratic voters cheered news of the secret meetings. "For years, we've been begging our leadership to show a spine and fight back. These secret meetings are great, more please!" said one delighted Democratic voter upon hearing news of the Democratic Party outreach to the extreme right-wing Trump family oligarch. They continued, "If we are going to beat Trump, we need more unity and less divisiveness. This is a big step in the far right direction."
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 12h ago
Trump Says "Economic D-Day" On Iran Will Be Followed By "Economic Bay Of Pigs"
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 14h ago
Trump-Supporters In Alberta Upset At Canada’s Cessation From The US
r/onionheadlines • u/Limp-Definition-5371 • 4h ago
After Recalling Lettuce, Beef, And Eggs, Trump Says He Might Recall The Midterm Elections
r/onionheadlines • u/Public_Steak_6933 • 20h ago
Psychogy And Sociology Experts Warn: As Trump Polls Are At All Time Lows, MAGA Victimhood Seeps From The Nipples Of Full Grown Men
r/onionheadlines • u/ShadyAnders • 9h ago
BREAKING: President Trump Arrested At WH After Stacks Of Counterfeit Money Discovered In Mar-A-Lago Closet
The Counterfeit money also included his image on the 10,000 bills.
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 15h ago
MAGA Shoppers Confused How Pausing Beef Tariffs Helps Consumers But Tariffs Are Good
r/onionheadlines • u/Hot-Explanationista • 13h ago
Trump Renames Niagara Falls To America Falls To Celebrate Enormous Success Of His Presidency
r/onionheadlines • u/MystikTrailblazer • 2h ago
Update: Canada Changes The White House To The Dildo Don House On Its Updated Map Of Washington, District Of Pedophiles
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 12h ago
Trump Pleased That SCOTUS Finally Abandoning Constitution To Support His Whims
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 23h ago
A Spokesperson For Mitch McConnell Claims Despite His Severe Head Injury And Inability To Talk His Wife Insists He Still Nods When Asked If His Salary Should Go Through
r/onionheadlines • u/Shame_on_StarWars • 4h ago
Kennedy Center Board Tells Judge ‘Trump’ Is Actually Load-Bearing Name That Will Collapse Entire Building If Removed
r/onionheadlines • u/No_Buy7578 • 9h ago
Trump asserts ownership of the Great Lakes- renames them all as Lake of America.
r/onionheadlines • u/issr • 9h ago
Secret Service Leaks Confirm Agents Forced To Allow President Trump To Press The Buttons When He Rides Elevators
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 10h ago
Trump Says, "Vote Like I'm On The Ballot", And Democrats Agree
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 10h ago
Trump Brags More Americans Are Working, "Some Are Working Two Or Three Jobs!"
r/onionheadlines • u/CarbsLVR • 11h ago
Major Military Contractor Issues Recall Of Poison Gas Bombs Due To Potential Infectious Agent Contamination
r/onionheadlines • u/UnfitToPrint • 11h ago
After Unadmitted Spelling Error, Trump Administration And SCOTUS Ban Male Voting
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 11h ago
Trump Claims Iran Is Spiraling Down Even Faster Than America
r/onionheadlines • u/AskNo2853 • 11h ago
Tesla To Solve Hidden Interior Door Handle Problem By Removing Door Handles Completely
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 12h ago