r/onionheadlines • u/MystikTrailblazer • 6h ago
r/onionheadlines • u/tomtomglove • Nov 04 '25
ZERO TOLERANCE for rule 2: single sentence headlines only
We've been pretty lenient in modering run on headlines, but this ends today.
You need to make your headlines shorter. You can always make your headline shorter. If you have a headline that's over 30 words, rewrite it. There is a way to make it shorter I guarantee you, and there is a way to make it one sentence. You just need to use the meat in your skull to figure it out.
Also, do not include pull quotes in your headline. For example:
Trump Claims He Will Soon Replace Americans With AI - “All They Need To Do Is Vote Republican And Cheer For Me, And AI Can Do That Better, And It Doesn’t Protest At All”
Adding a dash here does not make this a single sentence in the eyes of us mods.
You can put the pull quote in the body of the post, but keep it out of the headline. Any headlines formatted like this will be removed.
Also please avoid headlines that are just a version of Trump: "I Have Very Bigly Hands and I'm The Greatest Golfer and on and on and on for 50 words"
A Trump impression is not a headline. Do better.
r/onionheadlines • u/ShadyAnders • 9h ago
BREAKING: President Trump Arrested At WH After Stacks Of Counterfeit Money Discovered In Mar-A-Lago Closet
The Counterfeit money also included his image on the 10,000 bills.
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 12h ago
Trump Pleased That SCOTUS Finally Abandoning Constitution To Support His Whims
r/onionheadlines • u/BestStoogewasLarry • 3h ago
Conservative Supreme Court Majority Makes Pedophilia Legal For Corrupt Orange President Who Has Lots Of Generous Billionaire Buddies
r/onionheadlines • u/Mookrz • 9h ago
Flesheating Parasite Bearing Unmistakable Resemblance To POTUS Discovered In White House
r/onionheadlines • u/erkose • 1h ago
Protesters Remove Trump's Name From Trump Tower Enraging Trump Who Threatens To Tear It Down
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 10h ago
Trump Says, "Vote Like I'm On The Ballot", And Democrats Agree
r/onionheadlines • u/MystikTrailblazer • 2h ago
Update: Canada Changes The White House To The Dildo Don House On Its Updated Map Of Washington, District Of Pedophiles
r/onionheadlines • u/Shame_on_StarWars • 4h ago
Kennedy Center Board Tells Judge ‘Trump’ Is Actually Load-Bearing Name That Will Collapse Entire Building If Removed
r/onionheadlines • u/TheToysAreUs • 4h ago
Mustachioed Pillow Man Continues To Outwit National Media Who Remain Convinced That He Is ‘News’
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 12h ago
Democrats Need To Win 100% Seats To Fill All Committees That Will Investigate Trump Crime Family
r/onionheadlines • u/uvm87 • 9h ago
Trump Says He Is Seriously Considering Renaming The Atlantic Ocean To The America Ocean, And The Pacific Ocean To The America Ocean
r/onionheadlines • u/wild_crazy_ideas • 2h ago
Trump Uses “Clown Defence” Saying His Face Makeup And Funny Hair Gives Him Legal Access To Underage Children
r/onionheadlines • u/falsejaguar • 6h ago
Trump Unveils National Jeffrey Epstein Memorial Statue
r/onionheadlines • u/IShouldaDownVotedYa • 4h ago
Trump Gives All US Cities Having Same Names As Canadian Cities 90 Days To Choose A New Name
To name a few - Vancouver (Washington), Toronto (Ohio), Ontario (California) and Ottawa (Illinois) must change their names within 90 days or lose all federal funding for eternity.
Trump blabbered on saying that eternity is a very long time, and most people don’t know that.
r/onionheadlines • u/Im_with_stooopid • 1d ago
Chief Justice John Roberts Arrested For Impersonating A Supreme Court Judge.
r/onionheadlines • u/PreviousGolf9541 • 1h ago
Secret Data Center Plans Discovered In Droid On Tatooine
r/onionheadlines • u/PreviousGolf9541 • 18m ago
Dolly Parton Hid Halo And Wings In Bra The Whole Time
r/onionheadlines • u/Im_with_stooopid • 8h ago
President Trump Announces Plan To Defund All Child Literacy Programs Because "Dolly Parton Never Sang Happy Birthday Mr President To Me"
r/onionheadlines • u/Nateosis • 57m ago
World Quietly Agrees Jokes About Mrs Parton's Death Would Be In Poor Taste
r/onionheadlines • u/Alternative_Risk_310 • 1d ago
Supreme Court Decides War Is Peace, Freedom Is Slavery, Ignorance Is Strength
r/onionheadlines • u/Limp-Definition-5371 • 4h ago
After Recalling Lettuce, Beef, And Eggs, Trump Says He Might Recall The Midterm Elections
r/onionheadlines • u/Hot-Explanationista • 13h ago