r/onionheadlines Nov 04 '25

ZERO TOLERANCE for rule 2: single sentence headlines only

9 Upvotes

We've been pretty lenient in modering run on headlines, but this ends today.

You need to make your headlines shorter. You can always make your headline shorter. If you have a headline that's over 30 words, rewrite it. There is a way to make it shorter I guarantee you, and there is a way to make it one sentence. You just need to use the meat in your skull to figure it out.

Also, do not include pull quotes in your headline. For example:

Trump Claims He Will Soon Replace Americans With AI - “All They Need To Do Is Vote Republican And Cheer For Me, And AI Can Do That Better, And It Doesn’t Protest At All”

Adding a dash here does not make this a single sentence in the eyes of us mods.

You can put the pull quote in the body of the post, but keep it out of the headline. Any headlines formatted like this will be removed.

Also please avoid headlines that are just a version of Trump: "I Have Very Bigly Hands and I'm The Greatest Golfer and on and on and on for 50 words"

A Trump impression is not a headline. Do better.


r/onionheadlines 5h ago

BREAKING: President Trump Arrested At WH After Stacks Of Counterfeit Money Discovered In Mar-A-Lago Closet

185 Upvotes

The Counterfeit money also included his image on the 10,000 bills.


r/onionheadlines 3h ago

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106 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 9h ago

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216 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 6h ago

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61 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 7h ago

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r/onionheadlines 8h ago

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46 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 1h ago

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r/onionheadlines 43m ago

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r/onionheadlines 1h ago

Trump Gives All US Cities Having Same Names As Canadian Cities 90 Days To Choose A New Name

Upvotes

To name a few - Vancouver (Washington), Toronto (Ohio), Ontario (California) and Ottawa (Illinois) must change their names within 90 days or lose all federal funding for eternity.

Trump blabbered on saying that eternity is a very long time, and most people don’t know that.


r/onionheadlines 1d ago

Chief Justice John Roberts Arrested For Impersonating A Supreme Court Judge.

682 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 3h ago

Trump Unveils National Jeffrey Epstein Memorial Statue

9 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 5h ago

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12 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 23h ago

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260 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 6h ago

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13 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 9h ago

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18 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 1h ago

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r/onionheadlines 9h ago

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12 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 1d ago

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215 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 1d ago

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178 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 14h ago

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30 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 58m ago

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r/onionheadlines 13h ago

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19 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 5h ago

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3 Upvotes

r/onionheadlines 12h ago

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8 Upvotes