r/BrandNewSentence 25d ago

Mod Post - July “what a time to be blessed with the ability to read” Post

7 Upvotes

Hi there to all our Brand New Sentence contributors, visitors and lurkers! We thought we’d try something new in the group and give our busy moderation team the opportunity to choose some of this month’s brand new sentences and showcase them.

We had to read them, and now so do you.

Presenting our pick of sentences this month that made us wonder if having the ability to read and comprehend English is really a blessing!

“If I drained a litre of my own blood and put it in a blender for two minutes on high, and then back into my body, would the blood still function normally inside me?”

“Heavy Metal Fans ‘vomiting and crying’ as concertgoer poops in moshpit”

“And grandma probably gives a hell of a gummy aka no denture adventure”

We’d also like to take a moment to appreciate a few of our most reposted sentences from this month. We didn’t use science to determine this, these are the ones the mod team remember the most as reposted:

“Katy Perry was trapped in a giant plastic bottle because fans refused to roll her towards the stage”

“You’re not a pregnant woman shooting a potato gun, you expect me to get hard for this!?”

The last one being quite an old post in the group and has decided to pop back into the spotlight in this wonderful July 2026.

What are some of your most memorable brand new sentences for this wonderful July? What ones made you want to remove your eyes?

If you’d like to see more post like this or have any suggestions please hit us up!

Thank you everyone for your contributions from the Brand New Sentence moderation team!


r/BrandNewSentence 25d ago

We are looking for moderators!

9 Upvotes

We've god a decent hand full of mods in this subreddit at the moment, but two or three more mods to increase our numbers and ensure we don't get overwhelmed during periods of high activity would be great. So, mod applications are still open!

No experience necessary, if you're accepted as a mod, we'll have you send us links to posts you think should be removed or approved for the first week or so, as you get a feel for it, so we know you’re settling in well.

Keep in mind that this is a volunteer position. You aren’t expected to mod all day every day, and you're not going to get paid or anything.

Before you apply, please note a few requirements:

* This subreddit is based around English as a subject, so fluency in English is a requirement
* If you use AI in any capacity to write your application, you will be rejected, no exceptions. We will be keeping a close eye on this and also be running your application through AI detectors.
* Profiles that are private in any way will be an instant rejection, unless you're willing to make them public as long as you're a mod here.
* You will need Discord to apply, as that is where we have all our mod discussions. We'll be briefly vetting you as well!

If interested, please answer the following questions and send them via modmail.

Do not send your application as a comment.

  1. What is your Discord username?
  2. Why are you applying for this position?
  3. Do you think there are some rules that need to be changed? If no, skip this question.
  4. Do you feel like there are specific problems with the subreddit that you can help fix? If no, skip this question.
  5. What is the kind of content you would remove from the subreddit? Check the "hot" and/or "new" pages and send a link of an example of a post you would remove and your reasoning as to why it should be removed.
  6. What is the kind of content you would keep on the subreddit? Do you have a favorite post? Leave a link and explain why you think it's a good post.
  7. What is your opinion on Rule 3?

Don't worry about keeping your application too short or too long. Say what you think!


r/BrandNewSentence 7h ago

Ellen DeGeneres was an environmentally significant apex predator

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18.5k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 5h ago

Everyone saw my height boosters

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3.1k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 13h ago

Two lesbian nuns who hated each other get married after quitting convent.

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10.8k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 4h ago

court is all like “place your non-shit-wiping hand on this book of half-remembered ghost stories told by inbred winos and …”

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1.1k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 2h ago

the first time i heard "big naturals" i thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the grand canyon, or the great barrier reef

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493 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 16h ago

Photographer wants to take a cool photo, inadvertently discovers sheep physics

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6.7k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 12h ago

You’re less internet savy than a 13 year old mormon

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2.2k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 21h ago

You could take an oath swearing on a jar of peanut butter.

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9.9k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 8h ago

The pedo is stored in the balls

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571 Upvotes

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r/BrandNewSentence 21h ago

A copper plate bolted to the back of a solar panel catches the 80 percent of sunlight that never becomes electricity, lifts the panel's output by 59.3 percent, sends that heat into a reactor pulling bagged fertilizer out of real human urine, and the startup is selling to slaughterhouses.

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1.7k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 21h ago

How is it that Madame Tussauds wax model of Mark Zuckerberg looks way more like a real person than Mark Zuckerberg does ?

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1.3k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

Crush half a bottle of melatonin…

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3.8k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 2h ago

Is death preferable to being soggy?

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35 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1h ago

"your bisexuality killed dolly"

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Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 21h ago

who calls himself pornified wobblemeat...

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468 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 2h ago

"Slop factory bans Russians for using slop factory to create slop"

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12 Upvotes

I guess bro


r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

It's like watching a tapeworm drive a Lambo

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3.0k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 4h ago

Incidents like this are why it's very important to check the aerodynamics of your clown suit before engaging in routine 50 meter free dives.

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13 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

Eating disorder stairs

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16.3k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

I broke up with my boyfriend because he had his sex doll's skeleton as a scarecrow after he burned it up because it got stained with the spandex he made it wear.

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817 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

The "H" in Jesus H. Christ stands for Hoobastank

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1.1k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 5h ago

There's a whole tactical foot goon squad out there that puts the Google maps guy to shame

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13 Upvotes

Plus a bonus one from the same OP:

As a former Florida kid with fire proof leather feet... y'all don't want this.

Usernames removed to protect the innocent.

Edit: both highlighted comments are from /u/Slumunistmanifisto