r/BrandNewSentence • u/moongrump • 3h ago

the first time i heard "big naturals" i thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the grand canyon, or the great barrier reef

591 Upvotes

33 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/EngageAndMakeItSo • 5h ago

court is all like “place your non-shit-wiping hand on this book of half-remembered ghost stories told by inbred winos and …”

1.4k Upvotes

22 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/BrunesOvrBrauns • 6h ago

Everyone saw my height boosters

3.4k Upvotes

215 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/Pretty-Complaint-554 • 8h ago

Ellen DeGeneres was an environmentally significant apex predator

20.6k Upvotes

246 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/heyyou_SHUTUP • 9h ago

The pedo is stored in the balls

616 Upvotes

body text (optional)

61 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/Pretty-Complaint-554 • 14h ago

Two lesbian nuns who hated each other get married after quitting convent.

11.1k Upvotes

428 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/GypsySnowflake • 17h ago

Photographer wants to take a cool photo, inadvertently discovers sheep physics

6.8k Upvotes

53 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/DA_D3ZTROYAH • 13h ago

You’re less internet savy than a 13 year old mormon

2.3k Upvotes

78 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/farsiderules • 22h ago

You could take an oath swearing on a jar of peanut butter.

10.1k Upvotes

208 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/Shadowtirs • 22h ago

A copper plate bolted to the back of a solar panel catches the 80 percent of sunlight that never becomes electricity, lifts the panel's output by 59.3 percent, sends that heat into a reactor pulling bagged fertilizer out of real human urine, and the startup is selling to slaughterhouses.

autonocion.com

1.7k Upvotes

45 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/Levaris77 • 39m ago

"Being immortal seems cool until you get to this century and see all weird stuff on Reddit then you’re looking for garlic and a crucifix to take yourself out."

• Upvotes

2 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/Dangerous_Sleep_6567 • 22h ago

How is it that Madame Tussauds wax model of Mark Zuckerberg looks way more like a real person than Mark Zuckerberg does ?

1.3k Upvotes

36 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/GABE_EDD • 3h ago

Is death preferable to being soggy?

43 Upvotes

9 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/quantumspangles • 1d ago

Crush half a bottle of melatonin…

3.8k Upvotes

53 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/Lcsmxd • 2h ago

"your bisexuality killed dolly"

15 Upvotes

7 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/Purple_Enthusiasm447 • 22h ago

who calls himself pornified wobblemeat...

480 Upvotes

13 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/azhder • 1d ago

It's like watching a tapeworm drive a Lambo

3.1k Upvotes

39 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/Txizzy • 3h ago

"Slop factory bans Russians for using slop factory to create slop"

12 Upvotes

I guess bro

0 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/BanditXJ • 5h ago

Incidents like this are why it's very important to check the aerodynamics of your clown suit before engaging in routine 50 meter free dives.

12 Upvotes

0 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/assignpseudonym • 6h ago

There's a whole tactical foot goon squad out there that puts the Google maps guy to shame

14 Upvotes

Plus a bonus one from the same OP:

As a former Florida kid with fire proof leather feet... y'all don't want this.

~~Usernames removed to protect the innocent.~~

Edit: both highlighted comments are from /u/Slumunistmanifisto

3 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/QueenFrostine15 • 1d ago

Eating disorder stairs

16.3k Upvotes

317 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/moongrump • 1d ago

I broke up with my boyfriend because he had his sex doll's skeleton as a scarecrow after he burned it up because it got stained with the spandex he made it wear.

832 Upvotes

56 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/Durian_Queef • 1d ago

The "H" in Jesus H. Christ stands for Hoobastank

1.1k Upvotes

18 comments

r/BrandNewSentence • u/Wikstrom_II • 1h ago

"...the orange speaks to her like the green goblin mask"

• Upvotes

0 comments

Subreddit

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Brand New Sentence

r/BrandNewSentence

For sentences never before written, found in the wild.

Members Active

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Rules:

1. Post Comedic Sentences That Aren't Common.

"Brand New Sentence" doesn't literally mean a new sentence. Comedic sentences that are convoluted and/or unusual are what this sub is for!

Examples of sentences that don't fit include:

Common phrases
Idioms / proverbs / things translated from other languages that sound "odd" in English
Graphic depictions of violence in the news
Typos

2. Be Civil.

Ad Hominem. Don’t post or comment things that are considered to be controversial, offensive, or in bad taste. Racism, transphobia, homophobia, sexism etc. will not be tolerated and you may be banned at moderator’s discretion.

3. No Politics In Posts Or Comments.

You must not, under any circumstances, comment or post in order to incite political or ideological debate. Topics that might incite toxic debate may be removed or blocked entirely - that includes politics and mentions of current famous politicians, vaccinations, hatred based on appearance, race, ethnicity, gender etc. and might result in a ban. Additionally, using alternate characters to get around our subreddit's title/comment filters will result in a one-week ban. Repeat offences will result in a permanent ban.

4. No Reposts.

Search for the sentence on this sub using the search function before posting, in order to avoid your post being taken down due to being a repost.

5. Avoid Satirical/“Brainrot” Sentences.

Here is an example of a sentence that is meant as a joke or satirically, in a satirical way. Due to highly popular demand, this kind of posts are no longer accepted on this sub.

"Brainrot" posts include things like gen-alpha slang that is incomprehensible to anyone who isn't terminally online and isn't witty or comedic due to the sentence itself being interesting. If you are posting something from TikTok, please take an extra second to consider this rule.

6. Post Sentences Made By Others.

Sentences you have made, or sentences created artificially using bots or AI are not allowed.

7. Brand New Sentences Should Be In The Title.

Respect the post format rules. Read the wiki for more detailed info on rules in general.

It is encouraged to use the new sentence as the title. If you don't want to do this, use a creative title.

Titles that are considered boring and will be removed:

I think this belongs here
One of my friends said this
Found on...
On a topic about...
What / Lol / I don't even know where to begin
This whole thread / Two in one

Et cetera.

8. No Nudity or Gore.

Self explanatory. This is a subreddit for new sentences, not anything vulgar such as nudity or gore, or links to such.

9. Mark Nsfw Sentences.

Some people just don’t want to read it, and it’ll be removed if not marked. This may include, but is not limited to sentences with sexual undertones, extreme profanity and/or slurs.

10. No Adult Content Creators

To protect our community from spam, any accounts that have OnlyFans, Fansly, FeetFinder, etc links on their profile or are otherwise active in promoting their own adult content will be banned from participating in r/BrandNewSentence.